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opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Posted by suntide (My Page) on
Mon, Jan 2, 06 at 14:58

Hello,

It is now 1 year since I last had a period. I just went to the gynocologist and I am ok. He says I am officially in menopause. Only thing is I know most women's libido goes down. Mine has gone up. And it is not pleasant. My husband has a pituatory (hope I spelled that right) tumor so we really have had a more of a platonic marriage. Been to some counselors that were useless - nothing helps. My dr. says things should get back to normal in a year or two. My question: is there anyone out there that has the same problem and how long it lasts? I hope this question is ok to ask. I also get hot flashes that are preceded by an awful anxious feeling - not an anxiety attack, I've had them before. I can't take hormones because my sister had breast cancer and I've had 4 biopsies in the past 5 or 6 years that were benign.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

oooh, I am sorry... the same thing has happened to me.... I am at my PEAK! :o) Apparently, for you ,as your estrogen and progesterone levels have dropped, your testosterone levels haven't.... You possibly might try some herbal remedies, I have heard that long term usage of vitex herb puts a damper on desire. Have you tried toys? :o) I am sorry it is a bummer for you...my boyfriend also whines, but he's okay with it.


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me..

Chaste Berry

David L. Hoffmann B.Sc. (Hons), M.N.I.M.H.

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Vitex agnus-castus
Verbenaceae

Names: Vitex, Chasteberry.

Habitat:

Collection: The very dark berries should be picked when ripe, which is between October and November. They may be dried in sun or shade.

Part Used: The fruit.

Constituents:

Iridoid glycosides which include aucbin and agnoside
Flavonoids including casticin, isovitexin and orientin
Essential oil.
Actions: Uterine Tonic
Indications: Chasteberry has the effect of stimulating and normalizing pituitary gland functions, especially its progesterone function. It may be called an amphoteric remedy, as it can produce apparently opposite effects though in truth it is simply normalizing. It has for instance a reputation as both an aphrodisiac and an anaphrodisiac! It will usually enable what is appropriate to occur. The greatest use of Chasteberry lies in normalizing the activity of female sex hormones and it is thus indicated for dysmenorrhoea, premenstrual stress and other disorders related to hormone function. It is especially beneficial during menopausal changes. In a similar way it may be used to aid the body to regain a natural balance after the use of the birth control pill.

Here are some quotes from an article on Vitex by Medical Botanist Christopher Hobbs: "In 1930 Dr. Gerhard Madaus conducted some of the first scientific research on the plant and developed a patent medicine from an extract of dried fruits named Agnolyt . Almost all of the studies on Vitex have been done with this preparation. He found it to have a "strong corpus-luteum" effect, which increases progesterone. Scientists think that it regulates the pituitary gland, which detects increased estrogen levels and tells the ovaries to make less of it. Recent findings confirm that vitex helps restore a normal estrogen-to-progesterone balance.1 It can not only ease but, with time, actually cure premenstrual syndrome, which has been linked to abnormally high levels of estrogen, especially if symptoms tend to disappear when menstruation begins. Vitex can also help with irregular menstruation (especially if accompanied by endometriosis). In the late 1950's, in a study of 51 women who had heavy bleeding and excessively short menstrual cycles, 65% of those who took Agnolyt showed improvement. About 47% of the women were entirely cured (those over 20 years old seemed to have the highest cure rate) Vitex also helps resolve hormonally-related constipation.

Other problems that Vitex can help include fibroid cysts that occur in the smooth muscle tissue, or subserous areas. However, vitex is less likely to be helpful with submucous cysts. Because progesterone production decreases at menopause, vitex may help reduce some of the undesirable symptoms. Herbalist David Hoffmann reports that the most important use of Vitex in England is for treating menopause symptoms, and that this is the only female health situation in which he uses vitex by itself. For relieving symptoms such as hot flashes, he claims good results after 2 or 3 months of taking 2 ml (65 drops) of vitex a day. Several studies indicate vitex can help control acne in teenagers, both among young women and men.

Vitex can stabilize the cycle after withdrawal from progesterone birth control pills. For women who are trying to get pregnant, vitex may be helpful to help regulate the ovulatory cycle. It can safely be taken throughout the end of the third month of pregnancy, which may help prevent miscarriage, according to German research. After the third month it is still safe to take but is not recommended, because it may bring on the flow of milk too early. In one carefully controlled study with 100 nursing mothers, it was found that women who took vitex had an increased milk flow compared to women who took a placebo.1 Later research showed that the best way to stimulate milk production is to take Vitex the first ten days after birth.

Clinical research shows that vitex may start working to treat imbalances after about 10 days, but for full benefit it should be taken up to 6 months or longer. With PMS, a positive result may be felt by the second menstruation, but permanent improvement may take up to a year or longer. Vitex has no reports of even moderate side effects - for over 2, 000years."

Preparations & Dosage: Infusion: pour a cup of boiling water onto l teaspoonful of the ripe berries and leave to infuse for l0-l5 minutes. This should be drunk three times a day.

Tincture: take l ml of the tincture three times a day.


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Citations from the Medline database for the genus Vitex

Chasteberry

Amann, W.

Improvement of acne vulgaris with Agnus castus (Agnolyt TM).

Ther. d. Gegenw.(1967) 106: 124-6.

Attelmann, H., et al.

Investigation of the treatment of female imbalances with Agnolyt.

Geriatrie (1972) 2: 239. Bhargava SK Antiandrogenic effects of a flavonoid-rich fraction of Vitex negundo seeds: a histological and biochemical study in dogs.

J Ethnopharmacol (1989 Dec) 27(3):327-39

Brantner, F.
Sexual hormones from plants in female medicine.
Ehk. (1979) 28:413.
Hahn, G., et al.
Monk's pepper.
Notabene medici (1986) 16: 233 6, 297-301.
Kayser, H.W. & S. Istanbulluoglu.
Treatment of PMS without hormones.
Hippokrates 25: 25: 717.


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Wow. Very interesting about the Chasteberry! I've been looking for a natural way to calm my ovarian cyst pain down.....maybe I should give this a try. Thanks for posting this.


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Oh you're welcome! I have been reading about it... apparently, Chasteberry works if taken long term, for example, you take it for one day you won't notice it, but it's like a build up effect. This is a problem for me, I always want instant help!:o)


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Thank you very much for your responses. I will look for chasteberry (vitex herb) in my local healthstore. All suggestions have been appreciated. It's nice to know I'm not alone.


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Yes! YES! YES! YES!!! Oh, Suntide, *thank you* for posting this! I've been trying to find information on this ridiculously overactive libido I've suddenly developed -- and there's little-to-nothing out there. Why is that, do you think? Is it that rare? Or, could women be too embarrassed to ask it / admit such a thing? Don't get mad (this is my first posting :-) but I'm just wondering if the latter might have something to do with that double standard Madonna/[ahem] Bad Girl thing we all live with still ...?

I had a partial hysterectomy 13 years ago, due to a prolapsed uterus. Trust me when I say I didn't miss that little organ at all. But, without a period to judge by, I have no idea when perimenopause actually started.

I just turned 49 a month ago. For the last few years, I've had little 1-2 week spells of symptoms. Hot flashes, night sweats, diarrehea, insomnia. Then it goes away just as suddenly as it appears for, oh maybe, 6-10 months. But, this past February, Full Blown Menopause returned. With a *vengence*. :-P

I have every symptom known to woman. Not to mention this constant sexual desire. It makes it *really* hard to concentrate! Is this what 18yo males feel like at their peak? Geez, no wonder they can't think straight.

There's been no sex between hubby and I for the last 5 years. He's diabetic, with rheumitoid arthritis, high blood pressure and a myriad of other medical problems (like, prescription drug abuse), so all in all, he, ummm . . . can't. In any case, I haven't missed that part of our life. I was too busy with other things; kids, job, dealing with his medical problems. But now, I get THIS thrown into the mix. Argh! Who says Mother Nature doesn't have a twisted sense of humor?

A couple weeks after Full Blown Menopause (FBM) started, I became convinced I must be losing my mind. So, I contacted a homeopathic consultant who is also a friend of mine. She suggested a couple of remedies (Lachesis, Lycopodium) which helped mute the symptoms a bit. But not quite enough, so I finally broke down and went to my family doctor last week. All the lab tests aren't back yet, but the physical exam plus my list of I'm-going-crazy! symptoms indicated I was in sudden and severe FBM. She suggested Black Cohash, Bone Up, Progesta-Care cream, and Acidopholus(sp). Yikes, was that an expensive shopping trip. But, all together, it's helping. Suntide, you might wanna look for that cream. I think that helps the sexual side of things the most.

Tell me about this Vitex? Which kind? What strength?

So, in conclusion, Hi All. :-) It's good to know I'm not the only woman who feels like a new candidate for the mental farm. (They're coming to take me away, haha, heehee, hoho!) ;-)


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

I am sorry for your troubles of over libido. Mine was fine until this %%$%%^^ menopause hit. However, it is a little comforting to know I'm not the only one who doesn't have regular sex with her husband.

Have you all had your levels checked? They sound out of whack for that testosterone.

Carla, hot in NC


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Hi Carla,

I assume my levels are being checked now. The doctor took a urine sample, a gallon of blood (just kidding! but you shoulda seen what a hot flash I had during THAT! Sheesh. Whatta squeamish chicken I am.) and sent me home with little vials to check my stools, as well.

I didn't need a pap (surprised the heck out of me), because they've discovered that females with no uterus and no cervix don't need paps anymore. :shrug: But, she did check my ovaries and breasts. Lordie, talk about swollen and tender!

As to sex, it's been so long, I think I've forgotten how. :-:

Cindy in CO
hot, anxious and up since 3:00 a.m.


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Hi,All,

Please forgive me for not writing sooner. Spiritone, thank you very much for writing to me. I am answering in the forum so others can see. Spiritone, I totally hear you with the strong sexual desires. Mine are always there and as I have written, my husband has had no sexual desire - and now I realize this was before he had a pituatory tumor. I get the hot flashes and an awful feeling that precedes them. My doctors just smile and say (they are men)the feelings will ease up. I have been to a few psychologists (women) who after I talk to them, just shake their heads and say they feel bad for me. My husband won't go for psychological help and if I want to leave him I have nowhere to go. I can't afford to live by myself, and I am trying to get a job with more money, but it isn't easy. Basically, I have been told I am stuck. To complicate matters, I have a male friend (we're more like email friends - he is married but has other woman friends)at work. We confide in each other; I really like him - I think he just considers me a friend 'though sometimes he makes me wonder when he has put his face against mine - I could go on with all of this. All I can say is that my life turned upside down 2 yrs. ago - new job and menopause at the same time. FYI - I have complained on the Marriage Forum here, so I am not new. And I will look for that cream. Does it really work? I get really tired of talking about myself these days and I feel for all of us going through the change. When I was younger, I had no idea how bad menopause could be. But I am a realist, and sometimes it helps to realize that there are a lot of other things worse out there and I should be grateful for my good health - it's ok at the moment! And I will speak to my dr. about getting my levels checked. I can just imagine what my teresterone is . . .


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

suntide, don't beat yourself up over your "male friend". I never judge anyone, let alone another fellow menopausal woman, on how she handles things in her life OR what she does to get by. Keep your chin up! :)


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Hi, maryjo24,

If my "male friend" ever made an offer, I wouldn't hesitate a second. Problem is, highly unlikely he ever will. When I asked him how his wife feels about him having woman friends, I found out that she has opp. sex fds. too and he wouldn't cheat. So, we are just friends and we support each other. And we work in the same place, so I can't say how I feel. So, that's that!


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Hiya, hiya!

First, Suntide, I know what you mean about your male friend. I have one, too. (he's my male best friend, actually) Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined anything more than friendship between us. I've known him for 10 years, and he's NOT the cheating kind. Neither am I. But, slowly and surely, and very very cautiously, things seem to be edging towards something more. Would I leave dh for him? You betcha. I've always told his wife what a lucky woman she is (she agrees, and 5 minutes later, forgets all about it and takes him for granted again). Plus, during the last two years I've been in search of a job with enough creative moxy to keep me inspired, plus financial muscle to keep me off welfare, so I can get a divorce.

Is it stupid to get a divorce this late in life? My choices are 1) Stay Miserable and Married or 2) You Ain't Dead Yet -- Take A Chance.

And yes, the cream does help. Of course, I don't know if it helps just by itself (... ladies? please chime in :-) or if it's the combination of homeopathy + cream.

The only thing it's not helping, is the insomnia. And bone pain. Muscle pain? My memory-foam mattress feels as hard as a rock nowadays. I'll be laying on my side and my hip will wake me up, hurting, like it's mashed against some immoveable surface ... like concrete.

Am I making any sense, or am I just burbling? %-)

Cindy


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

No one is ever sure what will happen in their lives. Also, no one knows what actually goes on (or doesn't go on) in others homes. That is why I NEVER, and I mean NEVER judge a woman who has a male friend to fill a void in her life whether it be an emotional void for support or otherwise. People are always too quick to judge, ya know? Girls, go on with your lives as best as you can. That's all we can ever do. :)


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Fairy Tail ending! There is a cure for overactive libido. I am 53. separated from husband 9 years ago but lived in same house. 8 years ago met my best friend Sam, we both realized we were best friend soulmates, did everything together for 3 1/2 years. I feel in love for the first time in my life when i saw the back of his head on the school yard we were both working at where we met, he just wanted to stay best friends only, took him to 30th HS reunion and we became lovers in NY hotel. We have been together since. Marriage was sex once a month before separation if lucky and for 10 mins. (hit and run driver!) ex is 63, Best friend - sex 3-4 times a week, he is 46!. He is my prince charming, I couldnt be happier and my sex drive which seemed to heighten around the same time we united was satisfied with a YOUNGER lover! Thank god for a second chance in life. Wishes do come true and there are happy endings. Moral: Need sex find younger man who you happen to fall in love with. I thought I was doomed to a miserable life after divorce and living alone after a terrible marriage and not sexual satisfying and just as my menopause decides to Kick It Up A Notch I find the answer and cure right under my nose amoung other things. So..... anyone out there with low libido, there's hope and fun. It just might turn up in the most unexspected places. The End.


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Hi,
I am 39 years old (will be 40 in July) and I thought I was going crazy. I have the sexual symptoms without the hot flashes. Could I be in the early stages of menopause? I had a partial hysterectomy 7 years ago. I just kept thinking it was because my sex life with hubby is so un-fulfilling. He's "wham-bam, thank you ma'am" and I'm still wanting more. All I think about is sex, but not with him. I think about old boy-friends, new acquantances, strangers...just about any man can get me thinking. What do I do? I am so miserable. Is this a mid-life crisis? I am so confused. Does anyone have any suggestions?


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

I'll be 55 in less than a month and no menopause in sight, nor symtoms. I started taking a transdermal natural progerterone cream (it's bio-identical to our own progesterone)about 3 years ago because of breast cysts. I did my research (basically from vrp.com), printed up an info sheet for my doctor (that I really never went to: he's the family's doctor), got the correct prescription from the pharmacist at a compounding pharmacy, and presented all of this to my doctor. He wrote out the prescription, and I've had no more cysts. It also gets rid of fibroids. It's great. It doesn't bother me that I still have my periods regularly since I'm used to them (started at 10). In Canada, a prescription is necessary for the progesterone, as well as a compounding pharmacy: mine is Pearson and Alter in Westmount, in Montreal. I think they can send it by courier. In the States, get it from vrp.com. They have excellent products.


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Oh my, I just wasen't sure if I was alone with the awakening or too, if it was mid-life crisis......about 17 months ago my body has been going crazy. I've always enjoyed that part of my life but it was never a huge issue or urges. It has been for these past 17 months and I too have a husband who had died in that area. I'm 42 and he's 45 and has no desire. Toys and fantasies help, but I admit that I wonder if I'll get past this or if I need to be looking for someone who wants that part of a marriage. I just never dreamed that it would all be over at such a early age because my partner isn't interested and it isn't because he has anything physically wrong with him...I could accept that but he has no real reasons and that kinda hurts and I kinda take it personally and feel unloved like I am more of a sister than a wife.........sad!


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Wow... In my long life, I have discovered women like it more than men, of all things... at least the ones I met.... maybe I've got Men Who Don't Care Much About Sex Radar. Last year was a SEX ACTION year for me.. :D Had to have it... but this year, as I travel down the road to full menopause, it seems to be abating... could be something else, I do have health issues. But if your husband shows caring in other ways, maybe you should hang on to him, and PRAY that it passes for you. Also, you might try herbalism.
Vitex is supposed to normalize hormones and help with the sex drive (eeek! Stop the fun? How could I suggest that?)
Unless he's changed recently, I'd work on yourself other than him... it's not his fault you've become a sex maniac! :D and I've found that liking someone for sex often gets you awful partners... in other ways.


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Wow.. you ladies are scaring me but at the same time giving me hope! I am not menopausal.. far from it.. so I hope you don't mind me writing. I am 28 years old and have been scouring the web for a healthy way to reduce my overactive libido. Since the first time I had sex I have been completely obsessed with it! I understand the horrible feelings of anxiety you talked about. I feel the same thing several times a day and it can last for hours. Its so frustrating and insatiable!
I am lucky to be dating a wonderful man who likes sex 3 or 4 times weekly, but I find myself needing sex every day.. 2 or 3 times a day. I realize this is too much to ask and nearly impossible, so I can be satisfied with sex once every day. (and toys in between) But if my advances are turned down for more than 2 days my whole world starts to fall apart! I am so excited to hear that there is something out there that could help me. I plan to go look for the cream and the Vitex TODAY!! I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and my libido has begun causing horrible and hurtful arguments between us. I am scared of losing such a great guy because of something so ridiculous. I am SO grateful to you ladies for sharing your stories! I feel like you have thrown me a rope in a seemingly hopeless pit of frustration!

God Bless!!


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

If you are not menopausal and this sounds familiar, there is valuable information at the following link:

http://www.restlessgenitalsyndrome.com/en/index.html

This next link shares natural stretching and massage techniques that are helpful and you can avoid perscription drugs:

http://www.psas-support.com/files/Sherlock-PGAD and Stretches.pdf


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RE: opposite of low libido - don't envy me.

Hi, yes..finally it's happening to others! The Doctors don't know what to do with me because I keep complaing about an overactive libido and not a declining one during peri-menopause! The gynocologist's are the ones saying they have never heard of it and my primary care doctor said he has, go figure!They are making me feel like there is something wrong with me and that I must have a sexual dysfuntion..you have all eased my mind..thank you!


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