Yes, indeed they do, Florence. The WW I.C. sandwiches are a bit pricey, but very tasty. I'm going slow on keeping a lot of goodies around, even ones that are low in points. I know that I tend to be tempted to have more than I should once I start in, so I'm taking it easy right now on placing those temptations in my way. (Besides, *other* members of the family would devour them in a heartbeat. I need time to re-train them, too, LOL!) Thanks for your kind words, Athena. You're right. I need a plan I can stick with for life and I know that WW is that plan. I have to stick with logging my foods, too, this time. That's a very important part of it all that keeps one from sliding back down the slippery slope of weight re-gain. Exercise is tough in winter, all right. I find it painful to walk on slippery surfaces with my bad knees - I'm always scared of going down. I'm thinking of getting those gripper treads that you slip over your shoes or boots. My sister and her walking partner swear by them.

I can't believe the ones criticizing sandy for her observations. I had a friend just like what sandy has described. For some reason (being co-dependant) or other, she didn't leave him. He did just what sandy described one time. Friend and I were in her kitchen getting a meal on the table. The guys were outside and friend's husband nudged my husband and said, "Watch this." Then he proceeded to yell that he wanted an iced tea and friend was to get it for him...pronto. Well, like I say, we were busy and the guys were doing nothing. She literally almost jumped out of her skin to get him a glass of tea. I told her to tell him to come in and get it and she said, "Oh no..I couldn't do that!" My husband was livid and we never went back....but, this was just one example of what I witnessed..which I am sure is the same with sandy...just one nail in a board of nails....she was just giving an example. This friend of mine would say, "If you're going to be a door mat, you're going to get stepped on." But..she was a living example of just that. The friend is a friend...you hate to drop out of their lives because of their poor decision to live with a bum, but that's what I finally did...just dropped out. This upset her very much, but I couldn't just go on watching it...now I don't have to see it. But..maybe sandy is a better friend that I was...I think it "is" her business if she is going to remain friends with this woman...it is right that she offers help.

Just thought I would pop back in. Doesn't god hate lazy people too who refuse to help themselves or take care of their family? We went to visit both our families this weekend...about an hour away. We were supposed to eat lunch with my family today. He had wanted to stay at his mom's and I wanted to stay at my mom's (more comfy bed), so he said lets split up. We ate dinner with his mom Sat night, she offered to pay and he grabbed the check and said no we will pay. Then proceeds to hand it to me since he has no $$$. I don't know why but I paid. I should have said something. His mom knows we are having trouble - he told her we are declaring bankruptcy and I told her the business has failed. So I call him at 12 today to say I was on my way to pick him up. He says no I have to go home to work we need to leave now. I said that we already had plans and he could eat with us if he wanted or stay at his moms, and I would pick him up afterwards.. He chose to stay there and sulk. His mom pissed me off as she knew we had plans with my family and she says to me on the phone when I called to talk to him at 12...oh we are celebrating aunt so and so's birthday today at such and such place if you want to go there instead. Then we get home at 5pm and he goes to bed. He hasn't had any photoshoots in a month, so any work he might have is from over a month ago. Plus he never mentioned he needed to leave at 12 even when I spoke with him the night before. Whatever. y mom asked what was wrong, because clearly I was upset, even though I was trying to hold it all in. So against my more rational judgement I kinda told her what was going on. I really didn't know what she would say...she is pretty religous. She said, well I hope he gets it together and you don't have to get divorced, but you can't keep wasting your life and always having to push him. I was pretty suprised. I thought she might say, that its not that bad and it would be wrong to divorce. I told her I would feel like a failure for getting a divorce and she was very reassuring that isn't the case. (Note: She is divorced, but my dad beat her all the time and finally she left after 11 years - the church told her she shouldn't) I mentioned the only way he will probably find a new job is if I do his resume and send it out. She said she wouldn't do that...that he needs to do it himself and if not, then he has made his choice and I shouldn't feel bad to have him leave. Then my brother arrived at lunch and asked where my husband was since he figured he would be at lunch. I told him less. Brother is younger than me and has his own business and really likes my husband...considers him a brother. I just said he was in a bad mood, that the business wasn't going well. Brother said that he had talked to him at XMAS trying to help...suggesting sales calls, networking, inviting him to his business assoc. mtgs etc. I said he hasn't went on one sale call, sent out any direct mail, phone calls or trade shows ever in three years, doesn't call his customers back when they have complaints and has a bad rating with the better business bureau. He said, well he could turn it around, but it would require 80 hr work weeks, tons of sales calls, resolving issues etc. He said it doesn't sound like that will work. I was very calm just matter of fact with my family...not emotional, not saying I hate him etc. Just the busines isn't working and that I told him he needs to go back to work. Brother asked how much the business is making, if I didn't mind saying, which I didn't...I told him $615...he thought that was per week....I said, no that is per year. He agreed time to say goodbye to it. He did say his 1st three businesses didn't succeed, but that he doesn't have a "sugar mamma" so if he doesn't work he doesn't eat. Then went on to say its not fair to me to have live that way. Of course I asked each of them to keep this confidental. I really hadn't planned on saying anything to my family since I embarrassed about the entire thing and also because if we do reconcile I do not want them to hold a grudge, but I think the way I presented it, that will not be the case. Plus my family typically doesn't hold grudges. I didn't tell my brother I was thinking about a divorce though. Not really ready to tell everyone. Hopefully it wasn't a mistake to mention it to my mom. I delivered all the bankruptcy forms and support docs to our atty this week and we will file March 15. I found a new job that pays 10k more as my current employer eliminated by job in Dec and I have been doing data entry work for the past four weeks, so I start that in a week. It will involve some travel. Even with the increase we still qualify for the bankruptcy, thank god, because I can barely pay all the nessecary bills. Thank you all for listening to my vent...I really needed to get that out. I am willing to give it to the end of May. If he doesn't have a job by then, I am done. It makes me cry just typing that out.

We're going on ten years this summer, so I don't know if I qualify to answer, but I'll do it anyway. :) One, make sure you cultivate at least one major interest that you can share and participate in frequently. Besides raising the kids, that is. Two, cultivate friendships with people in similar situations, and share friendships with those who aren't. What I mean is, it's wonderful for us to spend time with other couples with kids similar in age to ours, because we're dealing with the same issues, our kids can play together, and we encourage each other. DH has single guy friends too, but I consider them just as much my friends as his. So their issues are mine too and it's never them vs. me. Three, don't fall into the trap of believing that sex "isn't that important." Of course it is. Sex is never just a physical thing, after all. It's tied up with ego, self-esteem, emotional intimacy, and is a great indicator of how things are going otherwise. Four, don't get caught up in dramatics. Always think of the outcome before the process. If you're angry, think first of the result you want before reacting. Five, and perhaps the most important - remember that your spouse is not psychic, and that he/she may forget things. If you want jewelry for your birthday, tell him. If you want him to put the kids to bed when you're tired, tell him. Don't expect him to "just know" that you wanted jewelry because you saw an ad and said "that's pretty", and don't expect him to "just know" you're too tired to tackle bedtime and be generous enough to volunteer. Don't be resentful when he doesn't pick up your cues. Yes, he may be ignoring them on purpose, but so what? Make demands. Six: Pick your battles. Sure, it may bother you to no end that he won't put his underwear in the laundry hamper twelve inches away from where he drops them, but is it really that important in the long run? Hm...that's a good question ;-)