Millions of times in the past years, she has threatened me that she wants divorce, that our relationship is not working out, and we have many incompatibilities in likes and dislikes and hobbies.

All of a sudden, to my shock one day she left me and she is living separate. I have pleaded and begged her to come back, but she refused.

I feel helpless and am in a hopeless situation, i feel i can easily slip into depression.

My first question is,

(1) can she still call the cops now, and file a false complaint against me: that i was physically abusing her, and thats the reason she left? And am i in any danger, can i be arrested based on these false reasons?

My second question is:

(2) She has been threatening for divorce for a long time now, and for many times. Can she file a divorce under the reason of physical abuse? If she can, would i be in any danger, can i be arrested because of that?

Thanks and best regards

She can accuse you of anything she wants, but there has to be some proof: witnesses, evidence, police reports, doctor's observations etc. If she has none of that she cannot prove anything.

Good news is she's gone. Change the locks and get going on your divorce. If you get depressed, deal with it if/when it comes. Except for your emotional turmoil, this is a very practical matter.

But, I too don't understand why you still want to be with her so bad and would be depressed if she wouldn't come back.

There is something strange about your worry and questions that make me want to ask you something. I am in no way trying to blame you who I do see as the victim, but I do know of cases where men really don't think they are hitting their wives when they are. And I certainly don't want to blame you for her wrong doing, but are you sure she wasn't hitting you back or hitting to get away from you, or that you shoved her harder than you thought, etc.? I just find it very odd that you are scared that you could be arrested based only on her word. Makes me think maybe something else (physical proof, etc) is there and you're just not admitting to it or remembering it. Did your wife ever tell you why she left; did she say she was going to file for divorce because of physical abuse? Again, sorry to even mention it, just not understanding why you would think YOU would get arrested, and why you'd still want to be with someone that would not only beat you up, but who could file such false accusations against you (really, what kind of a person does that?).

I would think her "beatings" haven't been around enough for you to develop any kind of battered wife(husband) syndrome and you don't seem to be making excuses for her hitting which is usually done... you are just more afraid of what she may say. Any woman can accuse their husband of anything at any time. Again, she can't really prove anything so I wouldn't waste much time worrying. Deal with the accusations only if/when they happen.

Change the locks and keep her out. Also, for what it's worth, print a copy of your posting here and file it away along with notes about your relationship. You just never know when you might need something like this in court. Not that it actually proves anything, but it does state facts about what she's doing to you in your own words.

Also, you may want to consider getting a restraining order against her. With this, if it comes down to court, will indicate that she's the one who's been violating you. Why else would you file for one, right?

Get the help you need to move on with you life so that the depression doesn't get the best of you. Life is too short to live with an abusive person, and you should be so lucky that she's the one who left before you had to force her out.

Good luck.

Your intitial posts gives me the feeling that you are shocked and confused by what happened.

Sometimes people end a relationship leaving the other person in shock. They mull it all over in their heads far in advance. Then one day they let the other person know that it is over. They walk away without a look back because they have done the work of separation in their heads far in advance. The recipient is often in shock because they did not know it was coming.

If you can afford an attorney, retain one and get everything documented. If you can't afford an attorney, go see the family law advisor if your county has one. You can also look for father's rights groups that are non profit.

good luck

Think about things realistically.

Ask yourself if you really see your future with someone who has no respect for you, who is violent, who treats you in such a condescending manner.

If you feel like you are in control of your circumstances, you will build self-esteem, and probably avert the looming depression.

Take control. Do whats best for YOU.

Word of mouth in finding a good lawyer is probably your best bet. Ask friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc...that are divorced who they used. You may also consider calling a woman's shelter, telling them your situation and see if they have any recomendations. They may also have some other good advice for men in your situation. When trying to find a divorce lawyer.. you'll probably be looking for term "Family Law".

There's not really anything specific to look for when talking to a lawyer. They should all be able to handle your case if they have experience. Most lawyers offer a free consult so you may want to talk to a couple and see who you feel most confortable with, etc.. I would think a woman lawyer could work well for you given your circumstances.

No harm done