My husband isn't interested in me but masturbates & watches porn!
lonelyheart
14 years ago
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asolo
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agolonelyheart
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
husband shows no interest in me yet sneaks and watches porn
Comments (30)Sweetheart, listen to yourself. You're making excuses for your husband's sh!tty behaviour, because he tells you there's nothing wrong. (As Scarlett said, HE has no problem, so from his POV there is no problem.) And ignoring a wife's pain, and refusing to discuss serious, relationship-threatening issues with her, in favour of what is essentially an affair with the internet, is sh!tty behaviour. What a controlling creep he is. He's got you right where he wants you, under his thumb where he can do whatever he wants, and you will think everything he does must be right, and if you don't think it is, well then, that's your fault somehow. You "don't want him to be unhappy." You don't want to "hurt him very badly." What about _your_ wants and needs? Why are you putting up with unhappiness, poor self esteem and "crying yourself to sleep" to avoid hurting _his_ feelings, when his behaviour is the source of that unhappiness? You say that otherwise he loves you, but does he _truly_ love you when he is seemingly OK with your unhappiness, and refuses to do anything to change that? Occasional, grudging sex that he implies is a "chore" is _not_ loving. When he tells you, "it's not you, it's him", believe him! There's something wrong with him, he knows it, he's not going to discuss it and he believes if he pretends that all is well it will be. Well, it's not. He needs to bite the bullet and do something towards fixing the problem. He is _not_ unique. Whatever ails him is probably also happening to thousands of other men out there. If you don't believe there's someone else out there you could love as much, you're mistaken....See MoreMfather in law asked me to do somthing to my husband
Comments (6)My husband has tried for a divorce twice now, When he returned from the navy I was already diagnosed as a bi polar, the first Time I was put into a mental ward after He came back the state forced him into a guardianship, The only way he can get a divorce is if my mother or sister are willing to take the guardianship, which they are not. I was told when my husband came back he did not care for other people and their feelings, I was told that bumping shift to shift was a rare and very hard occuruance and there had better be a better reason than hating being on a shift to do it. I was told that the company and union had the right to decide where a man had to work no matter how many years he had, This is all the things my father in law told me, His friends felt it was so unfair my husband left and served his country should be able to come back and not start from scratch, When my husband first showed me what his rights were in the contract, I thought it was a book he had printed up, just to show me he was within his rights, I was always bought up the employer had a right to decide everything. So I had trouble understanding how a company with a union worked, His father said he would do anything to get off of 2nd shift. I was pumped full of this for six months. Then when my husband returned one of the first things that I saw within two days of his return was him putting a bump in to go to first shift, and this pretty blond mother crying on his fathers shoulder about how my mean husband was going to cause her to miss out on her daughters life. For many years latter everytime my husband tried to better his position a similar situation would be bought up, I was at a point thinking my husband came back not giving a care about other peoples needs, so I did my best with sex denial to help others, then I watched him not back down to his local union and four men one night and absolutely tear them apart without remorse, There was no attempt at negotiation, there was very loud no I am taking the job, then my husband called them gays, In 2001 that was a big insult, They jumped him, I had never seen my husband use the combat arts training he had, He destroyed four men in under a minute, One was the man that wanted the job This man was the son of a county commissioner. He was fierce, remorseless, the counter attack looked almost designed to inflict maximum damage. After 13 years several of these men still have trouble. But Now I am finding out that my husband was being used by his father as a person to enable everyone else, his father made this statement yesterday, He told my husband. Why was sex so important to you that kept pressuring your wife, After all priests live a full and rich life in service to others, Why could you not be like that, My husband said a short but true statement, That is the life they chose it is not the life I wanted. I served under water for 970 days in three and a half years, I accepted being treated like a prisoner in escape and evasion school, until you sleep two months on a cement floor you don't know haw hard it can be. I was supposed to do less than half that. I have jumped out of perfectly good aircraft, Hung out of the side of a helicopter being drug through trees all in service. So tell me who served the most, That snot nosed jerk you wanted to get the new job, He never served others needs he never served his country, just because his father was your friend. All he ever did was knock up three girlfriends and not even pay child support, The girl that came over and cried on your shoulder about the mean evil military returning man keeping her from her daughter. You should have asked how often she was spending the evening at a sports bar with her boy friend leaving her daughter with her mother, My husband managed to make us feel pretty small. I have known for some time that what was being done to my husband was wrong, but now he wants to bring he pain for the past, .I want a truce. I want to at least talk now. My husband wont agree to anything any one else wants He has been abused and in pain to long, He has not been out of pain on a personal level since the MRSA set into his spine, his immune system is gone, but for a man who was not supposed to get out of a wheel chair, he shows what obstinate really is by walking, His personality wont let him back off now. On the reverse coin we can't back off either, He has not been involve in the family that much for 32 years, Yes it was our fault, but there are not any social skills left, He scares people when he walks past, they fear he might fall, I understand there has to be a middle ground but both sides don't want to go there, most of my father in laws friends are frankly snobs, They wont understand my husbands no booze, no pot, no non prescription drugs, and no firearms rules, His father says its a party they have a right to these things, My husband says if he doesn't need them no one else should in his home. They look down their nose that my husband considers himself a democrat and stand against special privilege for wealth and position, My father I laws fiends are heavy tea party and the conversation turns to politics, he makes then feel like fools most of the time....See MoreI am going to show this to my husband.
Comments (5)I'm so sad for you. This does sound intolerable and I think you're right that depression is a big part of it. Sometimes medication will help (and I'm not talking about doping someone up. Sometimes there really are chemical impbalances). But from what you've written it doesn't sound like he would be open to it. If only one person works on this marriage it won't work; that person will be miserable. Are you able to live on your own? Meaning financially. Certainly physically you're able, as you already take care of things at your father's house. If counseling is out of the question for him, you go for you. It'll help you see things clearly, make some decisions, and put together a plan for either staying or asking him to leave. Of course this isn't completely him; I'm sure that there are things about you that make him unhappy (we ALL do!). But since you're apparently the only one wanting to work on things, keep working and get it figured out. Don't wait for him to participate. Suzieque...See MoreI caught my husband......
Comments (39)I also found my husband jerking off. At first I thought it was ok, then it started bothering me. Then I asked him to stop doing it, then I asked him to do it (because I kept telling myself that's how men are wired) in a way I wouldn't find out. Then I caught him and got furious. First I found his underwear with cum, then I caught him in the act. I also know I haven't dealt with the problem the best way. I have tried and feel bad to ask him not to do it. It's kind of unfair to ask him not to do it, if sometimes when he's gone for work and I get turned on I also do it. I think boys will be boys, and we shouldn't be worrying so much about what they do in their privacy. We, even as a couple who live together, share beds, share rooms, share food, should also have our intimate moments to be alone. He has never told me no when I want to have sex, he has never rejected me. I never do that either, never reject him. I think that a healthy sexual life doesn't mean that we should have sex every night, or that everything has to be shared. I am my own person and also need my time to myself. Am I that wrong?...See Moreasolo
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