Return to the Marriage Forum | Post a Follow-Up

 o
If we could just fix this one thing...

Posted by Rotny (My Page) on
Fri, Nov 1, 02 at 11:46

Anybody out there have a marriage that, if not for one "thorn-in-the-side" problem would be, for all practical purposes, perfect?


Follow-Up Postings:

 o
RE: If we could just fix this one thing...

His moodiness.


 o
RE: If we could just fix this one thing...

Interesting question, Rotny!

Hmmm, for me, if I had to pick something standing in the way of "perfection" - which is a very subjective word, I would say his lack of gift-giving skills.

DH is terrible at it. It's only been 14 years! - LOL.
But I don't fret over it because it's not in his nature. He will spend any amount of money on me and get me whatever I ask for. He just goes blank when it comes to going and buying something special. So I just tell him what I want. I think it's a fairly typical guy thing.


 o
RE: If we could just fix this one thing...

Ditto, waddles!


 o
RE: If we could just fix this one thing...

Perfection is not a reasonable goal for human beings or for human relationships.

People can only reliably control themselves, and not others.

For example, if I got to thinking 'if only I could fix..' about another human being, that would be a symptom of mine and worth at least consulting or exploring with a doctor or counselor.

It can be a symptom of depression, or other kinds of problems to find one's self focusing on one single 'problem' and experiencing negativity related to that. Feeling unable to get around to enjoying and relaxing and even basking in the good feelings related to the other infinite positive qualities (of the other person, or the relationship) is a symptom.

The main situation calling for immediate flight behaviour is if the 'imperfection' of the other person involves their ability to inflict pain or harm deliberately, and without remorse... Not fight, just flight/escape. There can sometimes be more leeway if the 'imperfection' involves other kinds of criminal behaviour, but distance may still be called for.

generally, it's a good 'reality check' to kind of make sure that other qualities of the person and relationship (and life in general) can be appreciated and feel 'good'to think about-- if they can't or fade far into the background, it's worth talking to someone about because it's a symptom


 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!


Return to the Marriage Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Please review our Rules of Play before posting.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.


Learn more about in-text links on this page here