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Older men and sex

17 years ago

As a man gets older, he requires more stimulation.

You can either rise to the challenge or become bitter and even less stimulating. If he loves you and doesn't want to hurt you, he will look at porn to preserve his manhood and not have an affair or, he may decide to quietly die inside for you.

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Comments (13)

carla35
17 years ago
Well, that certainly has me looking forward to the golden years with my husband.
Karen_sl
17 years ago
What the heck does that mean???
And what is older....
We are older...he is 50...
You can't just post a staement like that and say nothing else!!
Karen L
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Here's a closely-guarded secret that will get me tarred and feathered by other menfolk if they ever found out I was divulging our closely-guarded secret: 99% of us have no idea how to fix a broken car. Here's a maybe less closely guarded secret... We know ;). It's still pretty cute when you try though :D. I don't know how to change a spark plug and don't care to. I don't like doing ANYTHING under the hood of my car, I don't like the kind of dirt that is under there (the particular kind of powdery sticky greasy stuff) and I hate just having to top off fluids (but I do it). I don't think I am couching my femininity in anything really but I just ain't that kind of a girl and I'm not going to pretend to be to get a guy. I do, however, do my own reno projects and operate power tools and am not afraid to get covered in plaster dust or drywall dust or sawdust or any other construction stuff... so I am not a total princess, just a little bit of one. As far as turnabout and the turn on factor of men doing traditional "women's jobs"... There is something EXTREMELY alluring about a man who can take care of himself and doesn't need a woman to take care of him... at least to me. If you can cook, and do it well, and want to make me feel spoiled by making me a gourmet meal once in a while or make me breakfast on the weekends... it will rev my engines. Clean up after yourself? OMG. Do your own laundry, even if you've decided that it's a waste of precious time to fold your underwear since it is under your clothes and doesn't matter if it is wrinkled anyway and the wrinkles are gone by the end of the day when I might see it and you'd rather spend that time paying attention to me than neatly folding your underwear? That is very ok too. At the risk of sounding really self centered... just about the sexiest thing a man can be is someone who makes me feel amazing just to be alive and just to be me... someone who pays attention to me... I mean REALLY pays attention and notices things (both large and small). Someone who is expressive... both verbally and physically... someone who does not take my crap... someone who makes me laugh and makes me feel special and makes me feel attractive. Someone who lights me up. It requires sincerity and authenticity and not just "lines" but if you want me to want you, make me feel wanted too. Maybe this is charm, maybe this is chemistry, maybe it's charisma... but I do think that the most successful people in life are those who do all of the above even in non-mating type scenarios. People who can make others feel good about themselves, who take the time to notice and comment and take the energy to make people around them feel like they matter, especially in a world where people are increasingly isolated from each other, are like magnets I think. Others just want to be around them.
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While in completely agree with amyfiddler's statement above, I also think that if a 47 year old man is content with sex with his wife once every two or three weeks, there is most likely something going on. Medical condition? Affair? Porn? High level of stress at work or somewhere else (kids/old parents)? Just not attracted to the wife (which would take us back to the "porn" option most likely)? Before I get slammed for this last one, remember we men are visual creatures, and I know men that love their wives to death and would never cheat on them, but just aren't attracted to them sexually anymore....like it or not, it is a reality. As a normal, "well functioning" 48 year old guy, I would think that there is something going on here. We slow down a bit as we get older, but not to this almost non-existent level.
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yborgal
17 years ago
Katrene? Without hearing more of what you have to say, it's hard for me to respond.

I don't think your comments apply across the board to every "older" man.

Is this happening to the man in your life?
azzalea
17 years ago
I have to agree, that this is definitely an individual thing. We're older, and I find that because we know our own bodies and each others better, it actually takes LESS stimulation, because we're more skilled?--LOL!

If you and your guy are having a problem, please, I urge you to talk to your dr. It might be that there's a medical problem that needs to be addressed.

Or it might be that the problem is a side effect of a medication--maybe your dr. can switch to one that has less of a detrimental effect, or maybe he (dr.) can make some good suggestions for coping. But please, don't accept that a lack of interest, or a need for more lengthy stimulation is necessarily a 'normal' thing, until you've looked into the possible medical causes and the helps that are out there. Good luck.
marge727
17 years ago
Katrene, I'm afraid that unless you are very popular and live in a senior citizen community you couldn't possibly be much of an expert with more than one older guy. My own guess is that you aren't over 50 anyhow. So I suggest you may want to consider that Azzalea's suggestions are worth considering.
Its also possible he is getting stimulated before he comes home and is simply tired. I would check his cell phone bills for a frequently called number unless your older guy is 90.
My Mom was dating in her eighties, and I asked her if they just held hands and she said "well to start with..." So that urge apparently doesn't die easily.
bill_h
17 years ago
wow getting older now sounds better! bring on the stimulation the porn and a young thing for my affair. where do i sign up. do i get a discount with my aarp card?
asolo
17 years ago
"....do i get a discount.....?"

No. Discounts reserved for those with functioning brains.
bill_h
17 years ago
porn,stimulation, and a affair, you expect my brain to function? hahaha
marge727
17 years ago
bill, we expect your brain to function as well as the rest of you (if not better)
Maybe you can give katrene some advice from the male viewpoint, altho we haven't heard from her lately.
simply_sharon
17 years ago
WOW!

What is this all based on?
What is older?
What the heck?
marge727
17 years ago
Yes, and the OP disappeared. Maybe she did start checking on why her dearly beloved was losing interest instead of just deciding it was old age. It takes so much time following people and checking their cell phone bills.
Kelly_68
17 years ago
My partner is 15 years older than I; he's in his 50's and I am in my 30's. He is, let's just say, very satisfying. Sometimes I need the break!
scarlett2001
17 years ago
That sure hasn't been my experience- thank Goodness he plays golf twice a week, I need a rest.

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