skip to main content

Dom/Sub realtionships..How do they..

simplecountrylady72

17 years ago

Work for you? and How?

Or

Do they not work for you? and Why not?

Thanks

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (8)

daft_punk
17 years ago
Not for me. Not for us.

Being dominant doesn't mean being right all the time. Sound family, financial, or other decisions are more likely when partners are equal. No one is best at everything. One may see an opportunity or mistake in the making that the other had missed.

Also...if the dominant partner ever needs help, the submissive one will have neither the skill nor emotional strength to provide it.

Peace.

Marco
sweeby
17 years ago
I thought she meant sex...?

No comment either way...
Related Discussions
How to make realtor selection a business transaction?
Q
Comments (26)
Have you considered dropping the traditional realtor and using a flat-fee MLS service if one is available to you? This is more work on your part, but the two strong benefits are that you have some control over what's going on, and you can save money. We recently sold our home after some 90 DOM. Listed with a flat-fee from day one, we had plenty of showings but no offers. I kept on top of the visits, calling each realtor back for feedback (some were helpful, some not). Using feedback, we made minor tweaks. We staged the home ourselves, using (selectively) ideas from GW and other sources. But your real feedback may come from friends and family who actually see the house and visit it. One such told us to wash the roof and get a virtual tour (with ~60 pictures). We did so, spending $500 in total, all along wondering if it was money wasted. Two weeks later, offer in hand (which closed, btw) we didn't wonder any more. I don't want to oversimplify things. Different things will work for different people and different homes, and sometimes you don't know just what DOES work... maybe it's just dumb luck. But... IF you can stay on top of it, have reasonable physical access to the house (we moved only 8 miles away), and don't mind doing the work, you at least KNOW what is being done. It's the same sort of reason why I learned to change the oil in my own car, after two experiences where the "new" oil was black, and I paid for synthetic and couldn't be sure what was in there (yes, two different places). As the old adage goes, "if you want it done right, do it yourself". Of course this can't apply to everything in life, but what real value does a listing realtor bring besides putting your home on FMLS? Can they convert a looker to a buyer? Can they bring in buyers when none exist? Some might think so, but let's see the proof. Advice? It's available for free, as you can see. I know that sometimes a selling realtor can talk her buyer into buying a specific home, but is the reason for the buyer's benefit or the realtor's? Is the realtor tired of showing them homes and starts to lean on one that seems just ok? Is it the 4% commish on that home? Remember, NO ONE wants your success the way you do. Watch warily over everyone else, even those that seem to have no benefit one way or another. My buyer told me he had tried contacting the listing agent for the home for sale next to mine. Very similar, same builder, close in price. The agent failed to return two calls from him, so he figured they weren't that interested. But when he called my flat-fee agent, who contacted us immediately, we got back to him in 30 minutes and were showing the home the next day. That other home is still on the market, with DOM in triple digits. The poor sap of an owner probably has no idea, unless his new neighbor tips him off! I figure many will rebut my comments, no problem... I am saying what I think and all are of course free to do likewise. But this thread is not about any of us or our opinions... it's about YOUR home, YOUR money, YOUR time. Sit down and think long and hard about what has happened so far and what you'd like to see happen, and to what extent you can influence it. To what extent can others influence it? How can you help them to influence it? Think and act, and be selective about which advice you follow (including this one!)
...See More
Even 'The Rich' Are Suffering
Q
Comments (33)
ok let's say there are 500 houses and 2 buyers, half of the houses drop their prices to priced right from lets say $400,000 to $350,000 or even $300,000 and the two buyers buy two houses, were the other 248 houses priced wrong - no - there were only 2 buyers. if there were 20 houses and 2 buyers, half of those houses drop their prices and two buyers buy houses, were the other 8 houses priced wrong - no - there were only 2 buyers. if there were 10 houses and 2 buyers and half of those houses drop their prices and two buyers buy houses, were the other 3 houses priced wrong - no there were only 2 buyers. even if all the sellers drop their prices - if there are only two buyers - those buyers can't buy all the houses that drop their prices - they can only buy the ones they can buy - and those other sellers can't entice those buyers to buy more houses because they are priced right or even below right - most buyers can only afford to buy the one house they can afford to buy. so lots of houses in lots of markets are priced right by the sellers and some are even priced below - priced right -and are not selling - it's just the luck of the draw whether the sellers sell their home to the few buyers that are out there right now - whether they are priced right or not. This fall - is - a good time to sell - except there are 90 percent less buyers to buy and 8 times more inventory than the previous 5 years. But sellers might be able to sell if they pay all closing costs and put in a free pool and offer another percent commission to the realtors - and drop their price below - priced right - to get the attention of all the realtors desparate to sell even one house per month instead of the 2 or 3 or 5 or 10 a month they sold last year and those couple of buyers being wined and dined by every realtor who hasn't made a sale in months. Hate to be pessimistic - but thems the facts jack for most homes for sale in most markets.
...See More
Layout Feedback Wanted! And Wine!
Q
Comments (24)
I also want to add my 2 cents. Right now you are think about a household with 2 adults and 4 kids. I recommend that you design the space for 6 adults. We did our remodel when our kids were about the age of yours. Then all of a sudden they grew! And their stuff grew! I would place a lot of thought into planning where 6 phone chargers, sets of car keys, backpacks, soccer gear, books, laptop chargers, purses, and sunglasses will end up. We did 2 drawers by our back entry...should have done 1 drawer for everyone. We had 2 sets of outlets...should have done a row of plugs for all those chargers. We have our wireless printer in our pantry (I love that) So add plugs there for things like printers, handi vacs, etc. Also, you are (rightly so) concerned about keeping the kids out of your work triangle. But put some serious thought into how they can do things themselves successfully. Where will the peanut butter, jelly, apples, ziplock bags, and knives be? Will they be able to pack their lunch in a few steps, or will it be chaos? What about where is the cereal, milk, spoons, and bowls? Same idea. At the age your kids are now, they are able to do these things, but not if they can't safely reach what they need. Last aesthetic thought....consider what your view into the kitchen will be when seated at the table in the dining room. Right now it seems like an afterthought. I think that would be something that should be considered, so you are happy with what you see.
...See More
A new adventure
Q
Comments (19)
Regarding the Sawtooth oaks: About 10 years ago we had to travel to Virginia and on the way back we stopped at one of those rest areas on the highway in New Jersey and there was this giant, beautifully shaped Sawtooth oak, ( I didn't know what they were at the time) but there were hundreds of these gorgeous large acorns all over the ground. So like the plant person I am, I (my husband thought I was crazy), I picked up as many as I could throw in my purse and brought them home. I planted about 10 of them in styrofoam cups and had them in my windows and I gave another dozen or so away to a few interested people we knew. Unfortunately, at that time we had a few mice living in our house and during the night they were carefully digging up and eating all my acorns! It wasn't until several weeks later when one of the guys I gave some seeds to said that his had sprouted that I looked more closely into the cups and mine were all gone!! There is a lovely tree growing on Martha's Vineyard, complements of me and every time I see this fellow he remarks on how beautifully the tree is growing!! Just a silly story, I know...
...See More
carla35
17 years ago
I thought maybe you were asking about a dorm or subleasing living arrangement for a couple - LOL. I just couldn't figure what you were talking about. I had no idea until daf punk answered!!! And like sweeby, I have no comment. Some things are better left in the bedroom ;-)
marge727
17 years ago
Make a left turn by the handcuffs and chains department. We have enough problems here just figuring out the simple stuff.
earthlydelights
17 years ago
Also...if the dominant partner ever needs help, the submissive one will have neither the skill nor emotional strength to provide it.
Peace.
Marco
===
i highly disagree with this statement, marco. being submissive does not, in any way, shape or form, mean that the submissive is weak or incapable of emotional strength. a submissive, in the content of a true d/s relationship, empowers the dominant. in exchange for obedience (defined by the parties) of a submissive, a dominant takes care of and the dominate's goal is to work towards the pleasure of both partners, thereby being empowered by the submissive. a dominant takes that control based on the limits set by the submissive. the submissive is a whole person, emotionally stable and certainly has the ability to make decisions. a submissive craves the desire to please a dominate and the dominate feels the need to "be in charge", yet neither party can can fulfill these parts of themselves without the other.

a true d/s relationship is something that should be treasured, respected and enjoyed by both parties and not be confused with the sicko/whack-jobs out there that make headlines in the news.

i believe this is the context in which simplecountrylady first posed the question. a dom/sub relationship, although there is bdsm involved, each portion is separate unto itself and gets worked into a d/s relationship if that is what works for the parties. it's not all about handcuffs, chains or the bedroom, it's a lifestyle and a relationship.

just offering up my opinion based on my knowledge of the subject.
moonie_57 (8 NC)
17 years ago
I have friends in a d/s relationship. It seems to me that -she-, the sub has the upper hand. She loves letting him be in control. "Let", being the word. People tend to think of a submissive as a slave and the dominant as the master. There is a difference, even though it may be a fine line drawn between the two parties involved.

Personally, I'm too selfish a person to play at either roles, but if I had to choose, I'd want to be the sub. The dominants role would be too much work. :)
Alexis1971_hotmail_com
12 years ago
Marco you are an idiot. I am a submissive. And I am not at all weak. I like to give up control in the bedroom. And I do support my partner. Seems to work well for us. And we enjoy our relationship. The fact that we enjoy the sane things make our relationship. I do so much for my Dom/partner, and he always makes me feel safe and cherished. Your statement was just idiotic! And very much angered me, including my fiancÃ¯Â¿Â½!
suzieque
12 years ago
Ewwww. Just ewwwww.

Oh, and Mia? The most recent post on this thread, before yours, was 4 1/2 years ago.

Related Stories

WORKING WITH PROS A Beginner’s Guide to Managing a Remodel

How do you make your design dream a reality? Here’s some project management know-how to help you work with your designer

BUDGETING YOUR PROJECT Construction Contracts: What Are General Conditions?

By Ventana Construction LLC

Here’s what you should know about these behind-the-scenes costs and why your contractor bills for them

HOUZZ CALL Show Us the Best Kitchen in the Land

By Mary Jo Bowling

The Hardworking Home: We want to see why the kitchen is the heart of the home

ARCHITECTURE 10 Things to Know About Prefab Homes

By Laura Gaskill

Are prefab homes less costly, faster to build and greener than homes constructed onsite? Here are answers to those questions and more

Sponsored