Oh Lynn, I just read your post and it seems like you were me writing the post.I too had an encounter with my daugter's new husband.On account of him hitting my grandchildren,he is the stepfather.And I too lost the close relation that I had with my daughter because I told him that he had no right to abuse the children.She took his side and told me that my granddaughter that is 12yrs.,old is just making things bigger then what it is.And I pointed out to my daughter that if she doesn't beleive her daughter now,what is going to happen if God forbid one day her daughter tells her that he abused her in any other way.That she is not going to come to her for help.And then is when he wanted to litterly kick me out of the house,that my husband and I had helped her buy when she was married to her first husband. Let me tell you that it has now been six years and my daughter has not set foot in our home and we have seen our grandchildren only on occacion when her ex-husband allows us to see them. I have tried many times to talk to her and to see the children but she tells me that they come as a package and that if I don't accept her new family I don't accept her and her children.I can't accept anybody that abuses the children and make beleive like if nothing is happening. Lettie

I would like for you to go back to your original post and read everything you wrote. Your answer is in there, but better yet, pretend someone else wrote it and what your advice to that person will be. I was 16 when I married my first husband. He was 21 and he was imediatley verbally and physically abusive. I was at the point of committing suicide because I felt I had no way out. One day he hit me on the head and I tell you he hit me so hard, that I felt no pain, but can remember falling in slow motion. When I regained my consciousness, he was kicking me. I got up and fought back with everything I had in me and it startled him because he did not expect that. I left him that night and I never looked back. I was about 3 weeks pregnant and I did not know it at the time. I have had the most wonderful life with my present husband, I married him when I was 27 and has always seen my daughter from my previous marriage as his. We have been married for almost 23 years. My point is, if a 16 year old girl can toughen up and make a big girl decission, so can you at 25. You are young and don't let anybody steal the most precious thing you have,that being the rest of your life. Now go sign those divorce papers, and start living again.

I`ve been married for 16yrs. it has been up and down all 16yrs. He always have been controlling, I had a 2yr. when we met and he wouldn`t even let her sit by me. When we got married he didn`t want my mom to help me get dressed. When I had our son he didn`t want her in the room, which I understand that one, everything is my fault. The last 3 yrs have been hell, I cheated on him 3yrs. ago and I crushed him he cried and cried he would get sick, that`s when the worst all started. He had an affair with a girl from our gym for 4 months. After that we got past it and renewed our vows then about 2 months later he started talking to another girl, then that stop. Well Aug. of 2008 he left me for a younger woman saying he was in love with her that she treats him like he always wanted me to treat him that he feels she really loves him. Yes I admit I wasn`t the perfect wife and somethings he says that I didn`t or did do are true about I don`t deserve this do I? He and the girlfriend got a place together in Feb. 09 he said he wants to come on and never does, well he does for 2 nights then goes back to her, he has done this twice now. Last weekend I told him I was moving on and I have a date, he told me not to go and if I did he will never come home, well I didn`t go and he came home and it`s been 3 nights now and he is still here, but when will he leave again, what am I dealing with here? Should I just let go and move on? I`m ready to if he won`t change, I mean he is still taking to the girlfriend. PLEASE HELP.

You people are funny you know. Out of this whole conversations taken place for the past year nobody in this chat room has thought that maybe there’s two sides every story. I am this woman husband and name Chris. Let me tell something she hasn’t told you. First lets start with the begin of this relationship. I meant Dallas while she was going through her first divorce and she was in abuse relationship with her last husband James. I meant Dallas and she was stuck in a house the bought together. After 1 month of dating I felt bad I took her rent-free and helped get her back on her feet. We than feel in love with each other. During the first two years in our marriage Dallas accused me of cheating went through my phone and if I smelt funny or even if I had a whiff of perfume on she would accuse me of cheating. All because of the fact I was 3years younger than her. For two years I dealt with that. Never once accused her of cheating nor mistreated her. I sat there well her real dad for the first time accused me of being to immature for Dallas and never once did this woman ever stick up for me at all. I sat there well her mom accused me of showing her boyfriend pornographic photos. Who in there right would show pics like that to someone mother in law or any family member for that matter. Also did I mention the fact that this woman has had an affair. This woman cheated on me what kind of man wouldn’t be concerned for the wife after that. Also what kind woman tells someone lets do a six month separation and agrees not see other people but doesn’t wear her wedding and tells people she leaving when she going marriage counseling this Sat. This woman is probably still cheating on me and expects me to live separately and just phone calls no contact for two months and than we will start dating each with other while living separately and go to marriage counseling. How do you work on a marriage when your not living with each other also where not supposes to see other people but like I said she I guess forgot that part. Did I mention that its either this or divorce, but she did come up with this she got from you people and her family witch is never around and does have real clue as to what’s going on. Just like you people. Of course I’m going to want to check on her. I’m not perfect by no means at all marriage takes work and it also takes two. This woman should have been talking to me instead of talking with you people. Half of what was said is either a lie or an exaggeration of the truth. What kind of woman leaves her husband at a bus stop. Or how about at the out back steak house. Let not even get into finances while I was working 16hr shifts with barely any sleep this woman was out shopping spending the money sometimes leaving us with barely enough money for food. I would begged her not go out or spend money. For Christmas if I don’t have money my family just gets cards or we tell each other not get gifts for us. Dallas spend almost are entire paycheck on Christmas for her family. Did she mention that I would work 100 hr of over time just to keep up with her spending and the debt from her last marriage and that I paid 6000 dollars off in year from her loan or the sacrifice that I would make for this woman. While she was getting her nails done and going out to eat well I was eating roman noodles. And for what so she can sit here and badmouth me with lies and fabrication. Who wouldn’t be tired after all that works. But you know what id get oh appreciate you and than she do it again and again. Over and over, but when I don’t think before when I speak during a argument or if something I did mean comes out of my mouth, and when I say sorry isn’t that the same thing. Shouldn’t we just both respect each other and not do it. But why is it that im taking all the blame and that I have accepted what ive done but yet she hasn’t. Also she spent two years going out with friends leaving me at home never bring them around even when I told her it bugged me. I never felt so alone in my life. It was like I thought she was embarrassed of me and she knows I have no friends what so ever but I guess that’s okay right. Dallas never would communicate to me at all she runs to everybody else when theres a problem. . This woman just want attention from every one probably because her whole family has practically a banded her while my family came in took her and made her one of our family members. When I met Dallas her whole life was drinking parting and sex. Her best friend Valerie is on drugs she has no positive reinforcement and you people are not helping at all. I could sit here and she did this and didn’t do that what’s the point. There only two people that truly no the truth and that me Chris her husband and my wife Dallas. What kind of abuse counselor can sit there not see any bruises or police reports and say ya you’re being abused really who does that. Every marriage has issues. I have forgave her for what she has done why cant she do the same for me. I want to save my marriage. I hope our marriage counselor will help because you people are not helping, and someone can get both sides of the story. Thank you let me know committers that have no life if want to know what’s going on let me know thank you