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Mind reading!

Posted by luv4pets (My Page) on
Sun, Oct 12, 03 at 7:56

Anyone with this problem?
My husband has the habit of keeping his plans to himself until the moment I mention something I would like to do. I always seem to throw a wrench in his plans because he thinks I know what he's thinking. I have told him over and over and over and over and over etc....... that I can't read his mind but he continues to do this. It really causes quite a few arguements. What to do!
Angela


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Mind reading!

Angela, how about using an activity calendar and letting DH know that if he wants to do something or makes some plans, that they must be written on the calendar or that time is fair game? Would he do that? Is he forgetful or is there some kind of power struggle involved?

I'm the "keeper of the calendar" because DH forgets social stuff. He does still forget to tell me things like, oh, FIL emailed that he's coming to visit on such-and-such a date! So most of our friends and family know to email or call me about tentative plans.

Actually for all the couples I know - there's usually one partner who is the designated calendar-keeper, and it's usually the woman. Having one person in charge of social events probably puts an end to lots of arguments.


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RE: Mind reading!

I concur with Gina. Although we are both very busy, DW is much more attuned to social/familial events (birthdays, anniversaries of others, etc) and I am much more the "fun" trip planner.

So, she keeps a "master calendar" of all our plans. Most our friends know both of us, so I just check with DW if she's interested. If so, then I tell people..."That sounds good...call her and get it planned out."

I then contact her first and let her know the person is calling.

Works perfect for us...and now just about all our friends call her first to invite us knowing this.

Each Monday I'll ask her what we have this week and she'll just run down the list! If BOTH of you are bad planners, we used one of the online calendars for a while and that worked really well too. Both people can put things on there. You can even print out a copy weekly or so and keep it on the fridge.

aiki


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RE: Mind reading!

Angela,

I work 'around' my husband's flaws in this area. Our friends have been burned by conflicts enough to know NOT to make plans with anyone except the head family scheduler - ME! Otherwise, they know they plan at their own risk.


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