I don't have a lot of hostas yet but I'm working hard to change that. Of the ones that I have, most I could do without the blooms and having to tidy up afterwards but there are exceptions. Big Daddy's bloom is pretty spectacular. Twist of Lime puts on a good show as well as Good As Gold. Royal Standard is another one & with such wonderful fragrance. I bought it several years ago just because I thought it was pretty. I think it was the second hosta that I ever bought and had no idea that hostas can be fragrant. I added So Sweet, HoneyBells, Fragrant Bouquet & Fried Green Tomatoes last year and I'm eager for them to bloom since all are supposed to be fragrant. Just added Moonlight Sonata to my Wish List! Guess I should introduce myself. I'm Ally and I'm a blooming hostaholic in central Wisconsin. I usually hang out over in the Cooking forum but lurk in here quite a lot and sometimes over in daylilys.

I really hate to tell you this, but you really haven't even begun to scratch the surface of grief yet. I'm not telling you that it necessarily will get much worse, but I can tell you that it will probably be a very long time before you can honestly say that you are "Okay" and mean it. As I told a friend the other night when she said that her friends say they are "okay" after 2 months after their child's death. I told her that "Okay" means that they are breathing. You have a long, long, way to go. Everyone is different so I can't tell you for sure how you will be but from my experience I think I can safely say that you probably will have many intense ups and downs...... Many crying jags, times when you don't feel anything, times when you think you're getting better and then DOWN you go again. It's all from that dirty word, GRIEF. I never knew what grief was until I experienced it when Christin left us. I didn't have a clue what that word meant. I had never really experienced intense grief. I know now and my heart hurts for all that have to experience it. Lu

My father died 25 years ago yet every time I talk with him during the day as if he’s alive he visits me in my dreams. he left my young mother who was 11 years younger and each time I dream of him he has a message for me for my mother. he cane to me in a dream one night.. the dream was he was sleeping in a hotel with my mother and I walked into their bedroom. I saw my mothers diamond which shone brightly. The next day we hung out and I looked at the diamond my father had given her and one large diamond was missing. We had done some errands and I pointed out to her the diamond was gone. She went home very sad and crying. while in my vehicle picking up my daughter I looked in the cup holder and to my surprise the diamond was in the cup holder. Just recently I moved onto my mothers house downstairs. The week before at my former apartment I saw many pennies and 1111 cane to me via clocks and phones. I thought of my father who must be happy that I’m moving in. One morning I awoke and I sat up in bed at 7 am and next to me was my father holding a small suitcase. Beyond him was the closet but the closet was not a closet but a it was a portal. Around the portal was a white circular light that had depth and he was standing in it with his head to the side. I looked in awe and I blurted DAD.. and he was standing in a beautiful suit with a hat like he was 40 years old. I was so awestruck. I jumped out of bed and he disappeared. later that day when in work I looked at the calendar and realized it was his birthday November 14...I was so blessed!! He cane to tell me it was his birthday. I was in the hospital when he took his last breadth. Soon after he cane to me in a dream and he was still sick but he had angel wings and I was touching them and they were pinching my fingers I asked him When are you going to heaven and he said 40 days in a whisper twice he said that. When I went to the priest to ask him what this meant the priest responded that the soul stays on earth 40 days and then goes to heaven (catholic). And Greek When he was dying I had an out of body experience. My body was floating in the hospital room above him. I felt every breadth he took as if we were one. I traveled with him to heaven. I saw beautiful colors and we were traveling over incrediblly vivid landscapes and my brain knew that his brain was entering a beautiful vista of colors and I was flying over heaven with him. I will never forget this out of body experience. Don’t know how it happened or why but I know there is another existence beyond our comprehension as humans. When I awoke that morning I was on the floor and my legs were on the bed. I awoke and went to the hospital and he died at 2 :44 pm. I knew he went to the other side. I was there with him. After that day I knew that the spirit of man lives .. it never dies. Their dna lives in each and every one of us. We have to connect in spirit to live with them. They will come to you. All you have to do is ask them to come!! Talk to them. Ask them questions and be patient for their answers. Each time I go to the cemetery I talk to him like he’s alive and I ask him to give me a sign that he hears me. Every time he responds by the sun breaking through the clouds and it is the cloud of an angel in the sky or two birds landing on his grave stone or a wind pushing a branch over his grave stone or something beyond comprehension. Talk to them like they are alive and you will see or hear something extraordinary. Trust yourself and your belief in a higher dimension and you will never be lonely!! I always believed an will continue to believe that the dead are not dead but live in every one of us. The dead have more power than the living. You just have to tap into it! Don’t cry act like they are still here. They can hear you!! Be blessed!!❤️

Some very good advice given. Some points to consider: 1. I did a little research just now and discovered there IS an actual sleep disorder called "Shift Work Sleep Disorder". I've provided a link to a website explaining this disorder and HIGHLY RECOMMEND reading it. 2. Men need to feel financially secure. If they aren't then it definitely affects them negatively...leading to depression. 3. Sorry, but men could get pissy with you, but still want nooky after. Women...a man pisses us off, he's banned from touching us for the night. Keeping him sexually happy will help lessen his tension most definitely. Hate to say it, but the #1 thing most guys complain about not getting from their wives is oral. They'd even take bad oral over no oral. Seriously! Also, they're typically even more happy if they don't have to do any *work* themselves. I know, it sounds shallow and selfish, but it is what it is. Just remember, men are VERY visual, simple creatures so remember that when you're thinking of ways to show him you're still attracted. Little notes here and there are nice, but if you want to stir him crazy...do naughty things. lol Maybe webcam him at work with an unexpected quick "flash" or send a naughty text message to his cell phone with or w/o a private naughty pic. Remember: Guys are VERY visual and simple creatures. 4. Women are intuitive, men aren't. We read between the lines and can identify someone's wants & needs MUCH better than men can. Again, remember...simple creatures. Hinting around to something you want doesn't work often. Guys would rather their lady just tell them than having to figure it out and possibly get it wrong. I'm not saying they're STUPID. I'm just saying they like things simple and not complicated. 5. Be super careful with arguing around the children. This is NOT good. Children are VERY perceptive. How they play with others and how they communicate with you and your husband is reflective of your relationship. Its important they see the 2 of you as a team, respecting each other, not correcting or critizing the other. Its important the 2 of you work out your differences in disciplining privately and decide how the 2 of you will handle child conflicts. Additionally, its CRUCIAL that if either parent's method of discipline begins changing into an unhealthy/possibly emotional abusive manner that the person steps away from the situation...aka an adult time-out. JohnnyLee is correct in suggesting you determine a code word/phrase so if one of you gets a bit out of hand, you've BOTH agreed that the person excuse themselves from the situation. This is much healthier for everyone involved. I wish you all the best with your situation. Kindly, Me Here is a link that might be useful: Shift Work Sleep Disorder