Do you still love her? Does she talk to you about your feelings and hers? Do you care if she does talk? Can you feel good about staying with her despite what she has done, despite her penchant for secrecy? Does she respect you? Does she find you exciting to go to bed with? Except for her duplicity and lack of fidelity, are you getting what you want out of this marriage? These are things you can answer before deciding. My wife has cheated on me three times in merely brief sexual affairs; never told me; I discovered them; I stayed. I enjoyed being with her, we were compatible in many ways. How did I cope? For one thing, I felt myself superior to her partners and didn't feel much jealousy or shock. I thought she cheated out of vanity--the need to "see" if she was attractive to others. For another, I had felt strongly attracted to other women, and so now I no longer felt guilty about my feelings for other women nor in giving in to those feelings from time to time ... I admit I'm aware of my wife's comings and goings but don't particularly follow her closely nor surveil her movements and activities. If I feel jealousy ever it's because I feel she hasn't shown me the proper respect and have told her so outright, without waiting, and angrily. I'm not any kind of meek person. I know this answer won't satisfy those whose values exclude anything but the Absolute Closest & Most Faithful, but there it is. Ours is not an open marriage; ours is good but not great. My wife doesn't like discussing "problems" although I do. I could take the marriage or leave it (I figured that out by myself; I chose to "take it" despite her lack of communication on some intimate issues, because the issues about which she communicates change from year to year, and I'm expecting she will be able to talk about more things.)

Mine has been a love affair for the most part. What I love about my Paperwhite is: *I can press down on a word and get an immediate definition. *I can buy a book in bed! Some days, I have to check out the daily deals before I get out of bed. They are so cheap that I have tried out authors I have been curious about but never wanted to invest big bucks on. This is huge. I discovered Dorothy Sayers (Nine Tailors) and am currently reading Georgette Heyer's, These Old Shades. I have also found some great sci-fi for a couple of dollars. *I can read in darkened rooms and don't have to be right by a lamp. *I love knowing how many minutes are left in a chapter and what percentage of a book is left. *I really appreciate being able to change the font size. Previous to getting my Paperwhite, I read a great book with tiny font size that strained my eyes at night. Also, I read one of those tall, narrow paperbacks that was so difficult to hold open and even so, I couldn't read the print in the middle at the center of the book. *I can return to previous chapters or pages with little difficulty. *We found that my hubby could download a free Kindle app to his Nexus pad and register on my account. He can access all my books. Actually, his app is much prettier than what I have but he has to charge his pad daily. I, only once a week or so. *I love reading the magazine, Science News, on my Paperwhite. I am sold, and I was a real resister, too. Paper books still have a place. Some books are so good you want a physical copy on your shelf. I haven't paid more than $3.99 for a book yet. For a newer book that I really want to read, I will get it on audio at Audible. Over all, I am so glad my family got me this device for my birthday.

So your daughters are withholding access to your grandchildren because your wife doesn't want to babysit them? Sounds like something is missing in this story. My kids' grandparents don't have the means to indulge their grandchildren materially, and they are elderly and inactive, but grandparents provide intangible benefits so much more important than entertainment. Growing up, I had one set of grandparents with a pool, they were active and had an energetic household. The other set were loving and gentle and milder in temperament. One grandma played tennis, the other liked to snuggle and sit and talk. I loved them both, and cannot imagine begrudging one set for not being like the other. The momma bear in me wonders if your wife isn't perhaps a source of worry to your daughters, making them concerned for their children's well-being in your home. An untrustworthy or unkind grandparent would be the only reason I can imagine that parents of young children would keep grandparents at arm's length. A pastor or family counselor can give you much better insight and strategies to foster a closer family dynamic.

Probably because I'm thinking this post is a set-up. Lines such as: Do you think an adopted daughter has more rights then a wife? And: It is like these women think they are "less" since they are not my biological kids. And, My current wife always says: They are not your blood-you can't have kids at least I can! And, It is like she hates my ex and since there are a part of her, they are bad too! Sounds too obvious and too convenient. If this woman does fall into the 10% of truly evil SMs, I agree with both you and Sylvia completely. But, I have my doubts that this post is even factual. Whenever someone sets up a post as a SK vs. SM deal, and I'm completely innocent, I'm always suspect. It is rare for a bio-parent to be that innocent. Couples divorce and are supposed to move on. Too often the move on part falls into guilt and bitterness, and then one or both remarry and all hell breaks lose because the unsuspecting step-parent and the children of the bio-parents have to suddenly deal with a load they never expected to be there. A poorly handled divorce can leave a lot of casualties in its wake, even for years to come. But, thank you for your posts because I guess you never know. Maybe this post is the real deal?