how my husband requests sex
sam8th
16 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (59)
close_1972
16 years agoplasticgarden
16 years agoRelated Discussions
how to talk to husband
Comments (11)Popi, I think you missed the point in a big way. Scarlett didn't say her gran lived without affection, he just didn't talk about it. A lot of men are uncomfortable talking about it. If your partner SHOWS you affection, is considerate and makes you happy, do the words matter? I'm not talking about 'comfortable housemates' here, but real love and understanding, without words. I know a lot of people want/need to hear it, unfortunately a lot of women, through what, insecurity, hard-wiring/genetics whatever will paint a man into a corner wanting to hear what he may feel but is uncomfortable saying. That can cause some people to react negatively, when cornered. Some people just don't like to verbalise. It is learned behaviour to some extent and if it extends to other things (communication is, after all, important) then it's an issue, but don't expect everyone to respond in exactly the way you want them to. They are not clones of you, but individuals. Don't try to remake them in your image. Trust your gut feelings. Do they make you happy? Are they demonstrative? Considerate? Loving in deeds? Then maybe the words are not always so important. On the other hand if one of you is feeling uncomfortable or unhappy or unloved, then it's a problem for both of you. My second wife and I express our love for each other pretty much every day, and mean it, and demonstrate it in gestures also. We are tactile and don't just touch/get physical when we're going to have sex. That I think is kind of key, if that's the only time there's a hug, then it's a problem. My ex was a lot like that, when I gave her a hug most of the time her arms were folded. When I was leaving her my eldest daughter and I had a long talk, and I asked her if she'd ever seen her mother and I do the things together other mums and dads do, holding hands etc, and she thought about it and answered no, she hadn't. A big light bulb moment for her and a huge help in her accepting her stepmother. It took a few false starts but even early on, she told her that she was ok because she could see that she made me happy. That meant a lot to all of us, and now they get along very well. At times I think daughter can see the night and day difference, and at times I think wishes her mother was more like her stepmother, not to be nasty but she has deep emotional issues that she will never address. I thoroughly recommend therapy, individually and as couples, to pretty much everyone. I think there would be very few people who wouldn't benefit....See MoreNo Sex With Affectionate Husband
Comments (13)There are also many medications (anti-depressants, high blood pressure meds, etc) and other medical conditions besides depression that can reduce sex drive, especially as one gets older. To each their own. If this arrangement works for the OP and her H, then good for them. I think many people buy into the "fairy tale" of marriage, the idea that you will meet your "soul mate" in young adulthood/barely older than a child, who will fulfill all your needs for the rest of your life in perfect monogamy. It's ridiculous. Life is a lot of things, a fairly tale it is not....See MoreI found out my husband requested escort service.
Comments (151)For anyone who may be wondering if Chazlie is the norm, let me clarify. Chazlie is a classic case of a person who has been wounded at a crucial point in life - maybe more than once. He has a deficit of compassion, love and respect for women as a whole. He justifies his acting out by belittling those who live a life he cannot fathom, one of true intimacy and security. I can predict fairly easily that such a man does not have a partcularly close, loving relatioship with his own mother, and I would also guess that his wife struggles with some codependency. He would probably argue both these points, since it is so hard to look internally when such a deep pain exists. The brain works exceedingly hard to "feel good" - and such acting out (yes, it's acting out, it's not socially acceptable, reasonable, nor is it normal) - is an attempt to make up for the pain that exists mentally and emotionally. That is the ONLY reason people are self destructive - and yes, blocking real intimacy through multple partners and infidelity is without question self destructive. This is sad, no matter how you slice and dice it....See MoreHusband Not Interested in Sex
Comments (77)Wow,I definetly dont feel alone after reading everyone's thoughts on this.I am 33 years old, and I am to the point where I am very frustrated with my marraige and my husband. I have been married for three years, my husband has no desire in making love to me, or correcting the problem. He tells me he is going to make things better, but it never happens...instead, he prefers to drink his beer every night and go to bed. I have tried to get him to stop drinking, but he is an alcoholic..and it just made things worse, so I gave up. I am so fed up, but I do love him. I am not a cheater, so I have asked myself many times...Do I just need to go ahead and get out? I know three years isnt a long time compared to some of you ladies, but I feel the same way as yall when it comes to the pain and anger. I have cried many times because I feel I am not pretty enough, good enough exct. He had a great sex life with his ex wife...and she is anything but what I am. I have constantly tried to talk to him about it, we have tried the counseling thing, books, lingire, ext. In my past relationship, I was used to being one over, and made love to, but my husband cant even touch me...Uggggh. Im really to young to have to deal with this crap, but I dont want to leave because I love him, and I dont look forward to the pain I will have to go through when I do leave.....This isnt fair. I have tried to just take care of me, and play all the little mind games, but you guys see where it got me. He is laying next to me sleeping, and Im posting in a forum for women with this problem.....I feel sorry for all of us. After all we do for them,you would think that they could give us a little of their time. Geeze. Any more advice on how to deal with this? I have enjoyed reading some of the other posts....See Moreasolo
16 years agoplasticgarden
16 years agoasolo
16 years agoplasticgarden
16 years agoemily2006
16 years agoclose_1972
16 years agogirlsingardens
16 years agosam8th
16 years agosweeby
16 years agodemeron
16 years agoplasticgarden
16 years agoJonesy
16 years agoscarlett2001
16 years agoJonesy
16 years agosweeby
16 years agoscarlett2001
16 years agojgoetz4_sbcglobal_net
16 years agosweeby
16 years agopopi_gw
16 years agosushinut
16 years agocarla35
16 years agocarla35
16 years agopopi_gw
16 years agocarla35
16 years agomc_hudd
16 years agoasolo
16 years agosweeby
16 years agopopi_gw
16 years agoasolo
16 years agoramsesii
15 years agocatlettuce
15 years agosweeby
15 years agopopi_gw
15 years agorob333 (zone 7b)
15 years agoramsesii
15 years agomrsmaddog
15 years agojohnnylee
15 years agocatlettuce
15 years agosweeby
15 years agojohnnylee
15 years agozowlik
15 years agocarla35
15 years agodoodleboo
15 years agodoodleboo
15 years agoforensicfox1980
10 years agotubekraken
9 years agorob333 (zone 7b)
4 years agoIris
4 years ago
Related Stories
PRODUCT PICKSGuest Picks: 20 Gray and White Bedroom Finds for Both Sexes
Rest assured that these soft shades will create a relaxing feel, while textures and patterns ensure a bedroom that's no snoozefest
Full StoryCOLORBedroom Color: The Secret to More Sex and More Sleep
Look to surprising revelations about bedroom wall colors to get more of what you want
Full StoryFUN HOUZZ31 True Tales of Remodeling Gone Wild
Drugs, sex, excess — the home design industry is rife with stories that will blow your mind, or at least leave you scratching your head
Full StoryKITCHEN DESIGN9 Ways to Conjure a Parisian Bistro in Your Kitchen
Stir in some French flair with lighting, flooring and decor that may have guests requesting a menu
Full StoryARCHITECTUREHow to Design a Storybook Cottage
A client’s request: “Build me a house where Disney meets Tudor.” The architect explores the details that make the style
Full StoryMORE ROOMSA Bedroom for Both of You
The bedroom doesn't have to be a battleground in the war between the sexes. These solutions will keep you both happy
Full StoryCOLORWhy You Should Give Brown a Chance
If 'blech' is your first response to brown, you're missing out on the opportunity for a warm-looking room that appeals to both sexes
Full StoryAPARTMENTSHouzz Tour: Mod Remakes for a Silver-Screen Couple
Gutting a prewar Manhattan apartment sets the stage for a screening room addition, a kitchen makeover and much more
Full StoryPETSHow to Help Your Dog Be a Good Neighbor
Good fences certainly help, but be sure to introduce your pup to the neighbors and check in from time to time
Full StoryECLECTIC HOMESHouzz Tour: Problem Solving on a Sloped Lot in Austin
A tricky lot and a big oak tree make building a family’s new home a Texas-size adventure
Full StorySponsored
firemanswife