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irishlass1970

marriage in trouble

irishlass1970
16 years ago

I am in a very unhappy place in my marriage right now that I don't know how to fix, I don't even know if it is worth fixing anymore. I have been re-married for 5 years to my second husband. The first one I was to young and it was very abusive. I took my time before I re-married, we dated for 7 years and now have been married for 5. We have 3 little girls, ages 5, 3, and almost 2 so it is very hectic already. My husband was my best friend and I used to be able to talk to him about anything, now I don't trust him because anything that I finally open up about he uses them against me in arguments. I don't trust anyone as it is for many good reasons and for him to do that really destroys everything. We have grown apart and I feel so alone and lonely. I feel like a failure, I tried to talk about this with him for the last 2 years and nothing changes. It's like my feelings don't even seem to phase him anymore. I am in alot of pain and I don't know if I love him anymore. I told him that you can't just not do anything to try and work harder at this but he says right now it is normal to just focus on the kids and worry about us later. What he doesn't seem to get is that if it is not worked on now there will be nothing left at all later, and i am getting to the point where I don't care anymore. There is alot of little things that have turned into a major problem but I don't have enough time to explain it. We have tried to "work things out" but he only lasts for a few days (bandaids the situation), to shut me up, and then it's right back to the crap. I feel completely alone. Any suggestions would be great, I don't want to divorce and destroy the kids. But, I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life either. Help.

Irishlass who is sad.

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