I caught my husband......
lonelywife
16 years ago
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mom2emall
16 years agoRelated Discussions
Husband tslking to women on the internet
Comments (5)I think the term "friend" needs to be explored and discussed a little more indepthly. IMO, if she were a true friend, she wouldn't be behaving as she is with him. The problem though is with your husband, not her. He owes you the respect, she really doesn't. He needs to see the situation as it is, and remove himself from it. You can not control the other women that may come and go from his group -- He needs to learn when and how to draw the line. Some men get it, some don't -- I personally think many get it and know what is going on, but simply don't care, and will turn the tables all they can to it being about you and your insecurities and jealously when in reality, it is really all about their disrepectfulness (and sometimes even unfaithfulness) to you. I think it's time to drop the nerd friends and slu^s. He either doesn't get it and never will, or he gets it and is just being an a-h. Either way, life's too short to have friends that cause trouble in a marriage....See Moreporn and not a lot of sex....What's a girl to do!?
Comments (5)Does your husband show you affection in other ways? does he hug you,kiss you,tell you how he loves you? I'm just wondering,because if he doesnt,then his feelings about YOU may have changed. Some guys (even Elvis) have the Madonna/whore complex,where they dont view their wives as sexy anymore after they have babies. Some guys are turned off because their wives havent lost all the weight yet. If he isnt showing you any affection,he may even be cheating on you. Or,he could be addicted to PORN. Let me ask you a few questions.Does he watch his porn on the tv,or on the internet? Is he overly private about his computer? Does he make a big deal about having "time alone"? The wonderful internet has made it very easy for men to get addicted to porn.It's on 24 hours a day,in a million different varieties of what "gets them going",so they never get bored.They are ALWAYS stimulated by something new.What woman can compete with that??? Until they realize it's an "addiction" they wont stop either.They will say,"All men do it!" All men DO it to a certain extent.They dont put it before their relationships with their spouses. My husband might do it when I'm not available,but he prefers the real thing anyday to an "image".So,that excuse is not a valid one.When masterbating comes before sex with your spouse,then that is when it becomes a problem. So,if your husband is addicted to porn,he is the one who needs the counseling,NOT YOU. Someone I know,also a young female married to a guy who chooses "THAT" over her,(except she gets sex LESS then once a month) was so mad one day she poured water on her Bf's computer.She blamed it on the cat since the cat was known to pee on everything.I'm not suggesting you do anything like that,just giving you an example of someone with this problem and how upsetting to them it can be. Just like you,she started to doubt herself,didnt think she was pretty anymore.Even thought about cheating on him....See Morekkny and tos your expertise is needed
Comments (4)Personally, I think they could offer lots of insight into the marriage forum. I've suggested it before and it wasn't meant to 'get rid of' them but I really think anyone that has over 20 years in a marriage, has probably got pointers for those that are having problems early on. I also think their insight into cheating might open some eyes over there if there are people defending guys that cheat via hookers. I don't think people that think it's okay because it's a hooker and it's more of a business transaction, not an emotional attraction (as they might argue) think of the damage that it does to families... trust between the spouses and the pain it causes the children. (or the humiliation it causes everyone they know when they get arrested as a 'john')...See More"my bad", appologies that only mean, "I'm sorry I got caught"
Comments (2)My situation has many similarities to yours, and I agree with everything Silviatexas has said. My stepson was recently diagnosed with PTSD and some ODD. It's sad and we're getting him counselling, but we need to keep him in line to protect the wellbeing of the other kids, and adults, in the house. We also need to protect our marriage because it's the foundation of the family. You and your husband need to set boundaries right now, and enforce them in every single case. There must be a consequence for every rude behaviour. Communication can be quite simple - "rude comment means no cell phone for a week. Next time, it's a month". It works like a charm in our house. Therapy is essential, and you might also want to consider some extracurriculars for the boys to given them some structure and self respect. The psychologist recommended cadets for my stepson. Sleep away camp this summer was also very good for him. They will not want to do these things but, again, the adults control the computer, cellphone and TV. If your husband is a decent father, he will enforce the rules and ensure that the boys stay in line. If not, you need to reassess whether this man is a good stepparent for your children. It is not your job to be patient while chaos ensues in your house. It is your job to support your husband while he raises his children. If he isn't doing his part, then you are already on your own....See Morehalfdecaf
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