Yes , definitely those two will have problems. Apparently i remember her telling me the night she was leaving that she signed some sort of contract stating that if there was a fight like this again then its straight divorce...i thought about later andi'm still laughing! I went for marriage counciling for a few months. My husband refused cause he had issues about councilors since his previous marriage failed and he looks at them as a last resort. I personally like saving something at the beginning...no point in waiting till the end...there might not be anything to save at times! Anyways...i realized that i had alot of negative peopel coming around. I remember when a particular friend came around , after she left we would get into a major fight...and then we'ld think back why we fought..and it would be over something stupid. Then of course we realize it was her! She would come over and dig info all the negative stuff and it just oozed from her....i started to cut her out of our lives. Then low and behold she was caught drinking and driving. she left our place sober and was arrested that same night. Keeps changing her story...she's out of our lives. We've dumped others and my husband and i finally spoke about everythign last night from A to Z. we realized that we need to keep positive people around us. Not people who can't handle their problems. We all have problems...its just how we handle it. So yes, our time is spent with more positive people. My friend was the last string left hanging...:) i was so relieved this morning. She was not on the couch sleeping...didn't have see her at night. Got my routin back...my husband said the same thing as he walked out of the bathroom naked from a shower. I started to laugh, i told him we are not tkaing anymore stray dogs. They can go home to their moms! Cheers to relaxing!!!! and i'm glad for all your thoughts. I am just amazed how some people can marry and just live like that! wow!

The quote below should apply to all of you. I hope it will help you realize that a sexless marriage is not supposed to be a big deal as marriage is about intimacy rather than physical. We all want a successful relationship. Where does sex fit in? An article in 'Psychology Today' noted that sex was 'far down the list of reasons for a happy marriage.' #6 Less than 10% of the individuals with successful marriages thought good sexual relationships were important in keeping their marriage together. Research data revealed, in this study of some 300 couples married more than fifteen years, that sex is not the key to a happy, fulfilled marriage. #6 What is the key? The top two reasons given by both sexes as to why their marriage kept going were the same: #6 1) My spouse is my best friend. 2) I like my spouse as a person. Come on. I doubt ANYONE here would equate those two things. And sex (or what is typically thought of as sex between two persons) is a DESIRE. No one NEEDS sex. goldfish_lover's comment. This guy above who said this is not against sex, but he does believe it is way overrated. I also fail to see how sex is an innate need, could anyone elaborate on this? For me, it's not even a desire but a strong repulsion. "Studies show that a relationship based on physical attraction may hold itself together for three to five years. During that length of time two people are fooled into thinking, "Well, we've been going together for so long, surely we can make it for a lifetime. This must be love." On the other side of marriage, they wake up to see they had little in common and no basis for a quality relationship." #7 goldfish_lover's comment. I totally agree with the above. I have observed marriages where the physical passion and lust fade after an average of 3 years. If there is true love, the marriage will last with wife and husband being emotionally, spiritually and psychologically comptable as best friends. Otherwise the marriage will fail as do up to 70% of marriages fail. There's only one safe way to remain healthy in the midst of a sexual revolution. It is to abstain from intercourse until marriage, and then wed and be faithful to an uninfected partner. It is a concept that was widely endorsed in society until the 1960s (and look what's happened since then..........) goldfish_lover's comment. This is what everyone needs to learn in abstinence ed. Addressing Amy: "What interests you in Marriage?" Nothing but I wanted to post here to help others understand marriage and make them realize that sex is NOT a big factor in marriage. I also wanted to point out that alot of people are asexual, including me. "Also, more questions. Is "asexual" a term you have defined, or is it actually an official term? Are there associations available for 'asexuals' the way there are for homosexuals and heterosexuals, or is 'asexual' more of a strictly descriptive term?" Please google up asexual(human)(orientation) it's official and while there are few associations, it's slowly changing. Asexuality is getting more awareness. "but sexual aversion doesn't make a person asexual. For a person to be asexual, there would be no hormones, no sex drive, no libito exisiting - to be anti sex is simply to be celibate, which is not what you're describing. You are saying, if I'm correct, that you are BOTH without a sex drive/libito/hormones (born that way) and you are also anti-sex. I have yet to come across any information on this -" That's correct and you can find all the info you want on Google. You and anyone else is welcome to contact me on AIM messenger, Yahoo or MSN. My email is morganNOSPAMmast at yahoo com. (remove the no spam) make sure the subject line begins with "hello goldfish_lover....."

forgive me for being a realist, but, when a woman gets married, it isn't asking too much that her husband consider her feelings, lifts a finger in regards to her security and the stability that everyone, male or female, needs when they realize that they are aging. I mean, a couple in their 40's! Who wants to continue growing old with someone who wouldn't even assist in the basic aspiration of owning a home? I guess he wants them to live in an old age home or be at the mercy of landlords who could decide to do anything with the property they are currently living on. Coming to think of it, I am sure this guy is expecting their daughter to take care of them in old age. He sounds selfish enough to naturally expect that, making no effort to secure himself and then burdening her, really shouldn't be considered a burden for her. There are billions of men on this earth, alot of them are capable of much better. At the end of the day, this woman needs to ask herself (considering that she could simply get another man), if there is anything sooo noble and great about this guy, that paying with her lifetime of happiness, peace and security is worth it in the end. There is no punishment as horrible as laying at the end of your days regretting that you didn't live a happy life, and for nothing. He is choosing to be selfish, he has no disorder, but laziness, selfishness and a strong controlling nature to prevent him being questioned. He is literally making her pay with her life for having fallen in love with him, and marrying him 10 yrs ago. No man is worth a lifetime of sacrifice to end up with nothing at all. And further she isn't his mother, he isn't a little boy, he has reached his 40's with this attitude. He is unyealding when questioned, I just think that beating the therapy horse will just encourage him to exhibit his usual 'yes man' strategy to get her off his back, like when she gave him the unlimatum, there will be no positive actions following his "apparent" agreeable reaponse. I think that distance, and time to find herself after being buried for so long is not too much to ask, as a matter of act it is in full order.

I hear ya, Stargazzer. I agree, the marriage licence is a legal document that provides for rights and priveledges. But with a five-year contract, do you have to re-do the contract every five years? What if you miss the deadline to re-new it? I'm sure there would be a fee to pay - suppose you don't have the money at the time? Then does your marriage go away, and you lose your rights? If so, would you then be divorced? I can only imagine the paperwork that would have to be taken care of, if you forget - by the courts as well as each Party in the marriage. What about the kids - my parents are divorced because my Mom (or Dad) forgot to send away the paper-work. Which parent would they be upset with, for forgetting? I think we got a ways to go on this one. The financial implications that go along with marriage are rediculous in some cases. I know women that are paying child-support to their husband's ex-wife and kids. Yes, some of their money is spent on the husband for family things, but it is so unfair that her money has to go towards the ex. In some states, if the husband is in arrears, the new wife would loose her job, or couldn't get one, because money is owed to the state. Of course you should know the obligation before marriage. But then what's your choice - end the relationship and/or fall in love with someone else? That would be happening an awful lot these days. Stop - before we go any further, do you owe child support. If so, no relationship. Is that "no romance without finance"? Again, lot's of stuff to consider before going full-scale with this one. I did just hear that it would (could) be at the couple's discretion. So at least there is a choice.