Thanks everybody. Grace was a piece of work for sure. I was NOT her favorite grandchild, basically cuz I was a grand-daughter and not the prodigal grand-son. She used to 'drag' me around to all her plant sales and swaps just so I could carry her stuff. She thought it was like a punishment for me, cuz at first I wanted to stay home and play with the boys. And she didn't like me to play with the boys even though all my relatives my age were boys. But after the first few outings, I started to really get into it, and had to hide the fact cuz I knew she'd stop bringing me just to ruin my fun. So I pretended to 'tolerate' the outings...givng just enough bad attitude to satisfy her need to ruin my day. ;) Yeah, you guessed it, she wasn't very nice to me. Always held a grudge against me cuz I was supposed to be 'Doug' (what my parents were planning on calling me if I was a boy). She rarely called me Joyce, always referred to me, especially in front of my mom, as 'the girl'. (Cuz in her eyes it was my moms fault I was a girl and she constantly threw jabs at my mom about it) But she managed (accidentally) to pass down her love of plants, and I will always appreciate that, if not love her for it. :)

What a horror story! I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. First, there is one thing they may have legal grounds for, and that is restricting how much your boyfriend can be at the apartment. Check your lease. Many leases have a clause about visitors and how long they can stay. If your lease has such a clause, then you do have to limit the number of days per month your BF is there. Or you can have him added to the lease. However, unless there is language in the lease that specifically states that guests must be accompanied at all times, he should be able to stay in your apartment without you. So you really need to read your lease carefully. And google "Maryland landlord tenant law" to find out more about the laws where you live. In most states, state law trumps the lease. So even if there is a clause in the lease, if state law says otherwise, you don't have to follow that clause. So know the lease and know the laws, so you know what your rights are. Then start to document every single little thing that happens. Every interaction with the downstairs neighbors--every time they yell at you and what they say, every time they pound on their ceiling, everything that you can clearly trace to them (so not the disappearing laundry supplies, for example). And document every interaction you have with the office. Whenever they call with another neighbor complaint, make sure they tell you the exact day and time that the supposed noise occurred, so you can write this down. Also, if you can prove that the apartment was empty at that time, put the proof down. I'd go so far as to copy a time card from work, or have a toll receipt or a receipt for a cup of coffee, a copy of your work schedule. Anything that can prove the apartment was empty. Do you have a designated parking spot and can this be seen from your apartment? If so, get a small video camera and point it out the window. Then maybe you can capture the person writing on your car on camera. Call the local police on their non-emergency phone number and tell them that you have neighbors who are screaming obscenities at you as you enter and leave your apartment. You also suspect they are writing on your car and stealing your things from the common laundry room. You are afraid they might escalate from there. What should you do to protect yourself? Write down what they tell you. Take notes for two weeks. During those two weeks, obey the rules to the letter--boyfriend only over when you are there, tip toeing around, being as quiet as possible. Then request a meeting with the highest ranking management person you can find. Bring all your documentation and proof. Tell Management that you are tired of being harassed. And use that word--harassed. You have been contacted X times by the neighbors and Y times by management in 2 weeks and it has to stop. List everything you have done to reduce the noise coming from your apartment. Point out that it is above and beyond what the lease requires. You are not going to listen to the neighbors or management about noise issues again, unless there has been an actual violation of the lease. You will now be calling the police if the neighbors scream at you again. You are tired of being harassed like this. Since management hasn't been able to do anything, you are being forced to take the next step. You have consulted a lawyer about the continued harassment from both management and the neighbors. You do not wish to proceed to legal methods, but given the seriousness of their actions towards you, that is the next logical step. Point out that you are not in violation of any of the clauses in the lease. You are willing to add additional noise reduction to your apartment, if you are told of specific things that would definitely (not "might") help your neighbors. You are willing to be a good neighbor and a good tenant. But you are not willing to be harassed on a daily basis where you live. I think these people are taking advantage of the fact that you are a young single woman in her 20s. You have probably been very accommodating and polite, so they think they can walk all over you. I think it's time to stop re-acting to them and become more pro-active. As long as you aren't violating the lease, you should be standing up for yourself. Oh, and buy a chain door guard and use it whenever you are in your apartment. That will stop the management from entering while you are in there. Can't stop them from coming in when you aren't there, but at least they won't be able to surprise you when you are sleeping or showering.

Get back into counseling ASAP! I don't think your feelings are unusual nor do I think you are a terrible person for feeling that way, but if you don't deal with the hurt & anger you have, it will destroy you... your life & your marriage. There is very little that a forum like this can do to help you with this problem, I think it will really take professional help.

Thanks tfitz1006. He has a visiting schedule but this country is not strict on such things and so once in a while he just appears and finds me home without any notice. The charges for assault in this country are very harsh, I thought i punished him enough by moving out. I considered my daughter loves him and if anything happened to him as a result of being in jail, i would have to answer to my daughter and i didn't want that. So i let him see her against my wish of course.He pays child support. I agree with you i try to focus on my daughter and myself and do things that distract me.