I can't believe the ones criticizing sandy for her observations. I had a friend just like what sandy has described. For some reason (being co-dependant) or other, she didn't leave him. He did just what sandy described one time. Friend and I were in her kitchen getting a meal on the table. The guys were outside and friend's husband nudged my husband and said, "Watch this." Then he proceeded to yell that he wanted an iced tea and friend was to get it for him...pronto. Well, like I say, we were busy and the guys were doing nothing. She literally almost jumped out of her skin to get him a glass of tea. I told her to tell him to come in and get it and she said, "Oh no..I couldn't do that!" My husband was livid and we never went back....but, this was just one example of what I witnessed..which I am sure is the same with sandy...just one nail in a board of nails....she was just giving an example. This friend of mine would say, "If you're going to be a door mat, you're going to get stepped on." But..she was a living example of just that. The friend is a friend...you hate to drop out of their lives because of their poor decision to live with a bum, but that's what I finally did...just dropped out. This upset her very much, but I couldn't just go on watching it...now I don't have to see it. But..maybe sandy is a better friend that I was...I think it "is" her business if she is going to remain friends with this woman...it is right that she offers help.

Hi Zaira- I understand your frustration and hurt.. your spouse seems to be different but not disclosing to you what is "going on" with him. I don't think anyone here is going to be able to tell you what is happening, of course, but there are some things you can think of... What does your gut tell you? Is there something going on with your husband that is related to job stress, other-members-of-your-family stress, home stress, etc? Did the two of you live together before marriage or could he finally be reacting to the tremendous life change that comes with living with a person (beloved wife though you may be) for the first time? Does he suffer from depression? Is it realistic to think he is cheating? I certainly don't want to put any upsetting thoughts in your head but your post is fairly vague... Absoloutely nothing could be going on with him: perhaps he doesn't even realize his actions have changed. Have you talked with him at all about your concerns? Don't jump to conclusions without at least attempting to talk calmly and honestly with him. But address it soon because the longer you wait the greater the divide between you will grow. Trust me. My husband and I made that very mistake and we are paying for it now. Best of luck to you.

You usually have to bring more than your ID (think Birth certificate or passport and SS card) I believe it varies by state or county. You should call your town or county office and ask them what you need to bring. You also have to bring your checkbook and your Fiance!! -renee

I hear ya, Stargazzer. I agree, the marriage licence is a legal document that provides for rights and priveledges. But with a five-year contract, do you have to re-do the contract every five years? What if you miss the deadline to re-new it? I'm sure there would be a fee to pay - suppose you don't have the money at the time? Then does your marriage go away, and you lose your rights? If so, would you then be divorced? I can only imagine the paperwork that would have to be taken care of, if you forget - by the courts as well as each Party in the marriage. What about the kids - my parents are divorced because my Mom (or Dad) forgot to send away the paper-work. Which parent would they be upset with, for forgetting? I think we got a ways to go on this one. The financial implications that go along with marriage are rediculous in some cases. I know women that are paying child-support to their husband's ex-wife and kids. Yes, some of their money is spent on the husband for family things, but it is so unfair that her money has to go towards the ex. In some states, if the husband is in arrears, the new wife would loose her job, or couldn't get one, because money is owed to the state. Of course you should know the obligation before marriage. But then what's your choice - end the relationship and/or fall in love with someone else? That would be happening an awful lot these days. Stop - before we go any further, do you owe child support. If so, no relationship. Is that "no romance without finance"? Again, lot's of stuff to consider before going full-scale with this one. I did just hear that it would (could) be at the couple's discretion. So at least there is a choice.