feeling abused/used by my husband. is it??
verysad
15 years ago
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catlettuce
15 years agocarla35
15 years agoRelated Discussions
Abusive/jealous Husband
Comments (9)I would like for you to go back to your original post and read everything you wrote. Your answer is in there, but better yet, pretend someone else wrote it and what your advice to that person will be. I was 16 when I married my first husband. He was 21 and he was imediatley verbally and physically abusive. I was at the point of committing suicide because I felt I had no way out. One day he hit me on the head and I tell you he hit me so hard, that I felt no pain, but can remember falling in slow motion. When I regained my consciousness, he was kicking me. I got up and fought back with everything I had in me and it startled him because he did not expect that. I left him that night and I never looked back. I was about 3 weeks pregnant and I did not know it at the time. I have had the most wonderful life with my present husband, I married him when I was 27 and has always seen my daughter from my previous marriage as his. We have been married for almost 23 years. My point is, if a 16 year old girl can toughen up and make a big girl decission, so can you at 25. You are young and don't let anybody steal the most precious thing you have,that being the rest of your life. Now go sign those divorce papers, and start living again....See Moreself confidence is gone feels like husband deserves better
Comments (13)Since I don't know the full story ie your husbands side and also only what you wrote here it sounds to me like your husband is abusive. Sounds like my ex. (note we had an amicable divorce and we still talk on occasion like friends). At some point when I'd tried to be whatever it was he said he wanted and nothing changed I moved to the never let his things about looser etc. get me down instead I continued to build my self-confidence and it just got worse. It wasn't me, it was him. He had to put me down to make him feel better about himself. He would have preferred me being completely dependent on him and not the self-sufficent person I am by nature. Which in the beginning I was more dependent on him. You are not doing anything wrong - keep repeating that to yourself. I see nothing you're doing wrong. You are caring for your daughter, you love your husband, you are working and supporting yourself. I don't see you doing anything wrong. What I think is that your husband has other issues and he is just taking them out on you and making himself feel better in the process. Social sites and being on sex sites is not normal for a married man, however I doubt that is your fault either. My ex cheated on me so it made my decision really easy. My 2nd husband and I dated for three years and was married for two years without living together during the week. Long distance can work, both people have to be comitted to it. Did your moving make things worse? I'm guessing it was pretty bad before you moved and if he said something like I'd kill you then you definetly did the right thing for you and your daughter to move. Why not try reading up some on verbally abusive spouses and see if this fits what you've been dealing with and go from there. I wouldn't want my daughter (or son) to be around that as then they grow up thinking that is how men treat women, which trust me they don't. My second husband is wonderful and there is nothing like it in our relationship. One thing with an abusive relationship is that us women often become very attached and think we are doing something wrong and think we are very much in love. Once you realize and sort of wake up to what the relationship is it makes it much easier to decide what to do. As I said I don't know if yours is a verbally abusive relationship or not, but I encourage you to read up on it and see if your husband fits the patterns. I never thought my ex was until I read a true crime book and saw all the signs in it on my ex. and after that is when I got my self-confidence back and started working on myself and let those things roll off my back. I wish I'd decided to leave then too instead of sticking it out (we didn't have children), which was dumb as I thought I still loved him. I care for him, but I don't love him....See MoreDo we send my husband's daughter back to her mom's to live?
Comments (4)I deleted some stuff that doesn't apply to your situation. ............................................................ A couple in my church adopted a little boy whose parents' rights had been severed because of sexual abuse. The first year of life with Daniel was traumatic for all three: Daniel's kindergarten called the new mom to come pick him up because he was approaching children and adults sexually. Daniel went to a few birthday parties & was quickly blacklisted because of his sexual overtures to guests & parents. Daniel & his new parents went to intensive counselling, & the new mom quit her job to take care of Daniel... not only did he need full-time mothering, but he kept getting thrown out of day care. The parents learned that children who have been abused sexually almost always approach others sexually; it's what the children have learned to do for attention, approval, companionship...love, or a cheap facimile thereof. Yet their abusers have also shamed them into keeping the big secret; Daniel never said one word about previous sexual "activity". Based on what you *know* of sexual activity at her mother's house, I'd bet that this young girl has seen, *& been involved in*, a lot more than you know. She'll keep approaching people, girls, boys, grown men, whoever, sexually because *that's what she knows how to do*. ............................................................ Please get some help for this little girl, & keep her safe. If you 'give her back' to someone who's led her a chaotic existence & allowed her to be sexually abused, I think the day will come when you will find it impossible to forgive yourself. I wish you the best....See MoreMy husband has really hurt my feelings.
Comments (43)USPS tracking still shows my phone pending delivery next week. I had hoped to have it for the weekend to post photos of our YoYo. No such luck. He is unbelievably cute but maybe should have been named CHEWbacca so says my husband. I don't think that I previously posted about an issue with my husband. He is fairly easy going and easy to get along with. Not long ago I did get irritated because he doesn't want to go out much anymore but I do not think I posted about it.I could be wrong?! As a rule I do not post on forums often and when I do its usually because I am upset about something and for whatever reason do not want to discuss it with IRL people. My plan when I post is to take the first few responses and thank the posters for their interest, then move on using their information/help. It never fails as it goes on that so much more gets read into a relationship/friendship and it leaves one to either ignore that response and the responder, or to defend/deny/explain. Anyhoo all is good and we love our big little guy. Thank you all....See Moreathlete2010
15 years agoasolo
15 years agoathlete2010
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