Master's degree and license from state. PhD not required.

Lets think about this a minute. You were a virgin so you don't have any experience except with your husband and that was painful.The reason that the other guy seems like a wonderful horizon is because you haven't done anything with him, and you are assuming it won't be painful. The fact that you avoided anything intimate in high school and in college suggests that you have inhibitions (lots of us went to Catholic schools and can understand that.)Since you have little outside experience coupled with pain, I believe that you need a new ObGyn and also need some counseling for yourself. Not a lot--but somebody to assure you that sex is okay and maybe give you some practical advice. there are great books out there. Lonnie Barbach wrote several that will help. Joy of Sex is another good one. A new guy is not going to solve your problem and will make it worse especially if they are tactless.

Well I thought I would give you all a staus up date on my situation: I have wrote letters, cards, emails, telling her exactly what was suggested on here. Thursday night I get this email: David, Well, I've had right close to 4 weeks to think about everything that has happened to us and to our family. You are correct in what you said about how I felt about the whole situation. I feel like I had all this trust for you (finally) and then the bridge just collapsed beneath me. I understand that at the time your intentions were good and that you meant well by doing what you did.....but, at the same time I don't understand how you could have so little trust in me that you wouldn't tell me what was going on. Am I that horrible of a person that we couldn't talk and try to work this out together? Dave, how many times does it take getting your heart broken before you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder..."why am I doing this?" Every time something has happened to us I would just step back and tell myself "Ok Paula, this is the last time something like this will happen".....only to look further across that bridge to see that it has collapsed again. I know that you are making a lot of changes now.....that is awesome-I'm really proud of you. But, the fact of the matter is-will all those changes erase the hurt, distrust, and anger that I have? Will they make me forget everything? The answer is probably not. I want you to know that this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life......this is not easy at all. David we have had two beautiful girls together-for that I will be forever grateful to you. I will always love you for the dad that you have and will continue to be to our girls. But, I don't think that I can be the wife that you deserve given the events that have taken place. I already have a hard time trusting people and I feel like if we continued our relationship I would constantly be looking over my shoulder...wondering what is going to come next. Always second guessing and "checking up" on things to make sure everything is kosher. That is no way to live. I feel like the best thing for me to do is to pick up and start over...get my priorities right-make things stable for our girls. I love that you are doing things to change yourself and you are getting help from Ashford (counsler)-it takes alot of courage to sit in an office and put your trust in a complete stranger and to ask them for help. I'm glad you are doing it-for yourself and your girls. I hope that we can still be a support system for each other-I do care an awful lot about you Dave. I also hope that we can continue to be civil to each other and be friendly toward one another (the girls will have a better time adjusting if they are able to see us get along). If there is anything I can do to support you in your changes-I am here for you. I don't hate you at all and I do forgive the situation-I just can't continue with this relationship. I know that what I'm saying in something you don't want to hear and I know that I have probably broken your heart....for that I am sorry. I don't like to hurt anyone-especially you.........I hope that we can still be good friends. love, Paula Then on Saturday she told me that she contacted an attorney and is drafting up a seperation agreement. Yes I am heart broken, and never wanted any of this to happen. I am completly beside myself and am lost without her in my life. I had the girls this weekend, and when I went to take them back, they were both crying that they wanted to stay with me and not go back to there grandma's...where they are staying. I know that they are just as confused as I am and to answer any questions involving the kids...the answer is no. I avoid it at all cost. My question now is this, since she has given up, or in my eyes she has, what are my next steps in this process? I have to thank each and everyone of you for offering your advice and I wish the circumstances were better, but they are not. I do love my wife, and miss her everyday that I am awake. I wanted a chance to make things right, but she has shut the door on our relationship.

I know how you feel except I married a man with three kids two 8 years old and one 11 year old daughter from the moment we were married she was needy and all attention from her daddy was hers so much that her brothers were afraid to hold hands with their dad because she controlled him, had a emotional hold. My husband was married to me not his daughter. At the time I didn’t understand it was hard for her share her dad but she came between us and sometimes I wonder if that’s what happened with his first wife expect I don’t allow it to ruin our relationship. I thought she was telling the truth for along time. We started a relationship with my step daughter that I thought was honest but manipulated me in believing in her and she would lie about why she was late after school, she was going to her friends house then homework club and hanging out with a boy that I think started this mess or temptations sexual acts in order to be with boy and kiss boys all I know is because I told her couldn’t date until she 16 she disobeyed and did anyways. She was the one who didn’t want anything to do with her mentally, manipulative mother now she’s apparently been communicating with her for two and half years and has told people I abuse her and control her and cage her up. She tells people these things to get attention her mother played on me and her dad that she better and moving out into apartment and she lied she was still in metal home so her daughter has learned and since then taught her brothers steal and lie and now talk back, her brother have intellectual disabilities on top of that which puts more strain on me as step parent but what changed was when I had baby of my own my husband became a husband in since and he started a better commitment then just bending to his daughters will our baby in Since saved our marriage and my husband also had addictions that She got him started on and it changed once Elizabeth was born he became the man I married if he will. Savannah came between us and we got along but it was difficult road. Our love became stronger and My step daughter sought for attention else where by a guy she became involved with in sex texting and they since he has broken up with her twice and is trying again because I finally gave consent for her to date because she sneaking behind our backs and lying and I knew it was matter of time that she would be pregnant because she was desperate to be with him. He’s not a guy I like but I don’t like secrets and my step daughter also tells our bishop I fight with her and I do not. I used to slap her but I stopped doing that when she called the police over in hope her dad would divorce me and she would have his attention again yes I know one believes me because she’s that good at manipulating people in believing she does nothing but I since learned manipulaters know how to push your buttons to send you over edge. I was already being gaslighted by my step son and I don’t know why but I found since then I tested him and found he has a intellectual mild and a behavioral disorder and I have changed emotionally since he started messing with my mind it’s called gaslighting and now since then I had emotional breakdown and teens used that push my buttons. It’s exhausting, it got worse when I was pregnant because I was more emotional and I didn’t realize I was being gaslighted but my pregnancy changed me I was irritable and emotional and I was tired more from being sick and jaylan stealing and throwing tantrums and kicking me but know one believes me because I’m the parent it’s my fault they act this way. When I came into my marriage I was not only a step parent but I was raising kids who were emotionally abused by their mother and foster care influences and also had disabilities I knew not about our boys except one had epilepsy and the other a learning disability. It was a complete mess and I felt I was teaching them at age 3 and Savannah 5 because they never had rules, responsibility ever and making rules was horrifying to them. Jaylan was angel until third year in spring wood he went off some medication for epilepsy that I didn’t know would arise so many unexpected problems he ether had or developed because of this medication he was on for so long. Jaxson always had emotional problems from the start, things happened in foster care and also his childhood that I could tell made him crazy at times. He use to have tantrums everyday and I worried the d.s.f would take them away after their father fought so hard to keep them my step daughter I thought liked me did not because I made rules in the house. She never had rules even her dad cleaned the house when he was home and took care of the dogs and birds which now he hates animals because ex wanted them. His ex was so depressed and ocd and mentally ill he took care of his has much as he could but in since he was like a single father with three kids and his wife he had taken care of. So when I came into the picture and started changing things my step daughter didn’t want us together anymore and in her mind she believed her daddy can do better or that she liked that her daddy only raise them. If Jesse and I didn’t get married he would’ve lost full custody of his kids and it would’ve destroyed him. Jesse was abused emotionally by his ex and there was definitely manipulation going on ether his ex or his daughter. His boys started learning to lie and steal from their sister and it’s been difficult to break so now everyone my step daughter talks to believes I abuse her and control her and don’t give her privacy but she gets plenty of it and so my husband knows I don’t hurt them. He knows they manipulate me and him but we are their parents and I don’t care if they hate me someone needs to love them and teach them and hopefully later they will see. When I think she’s telling the truth I don’t believe her because she’s kept secrets I found out that make me love her but not trust her. p