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The first year is the hardest???

hope_full
16 years ago

I married someone I thought was the love of my life in the early 70s. We were married for almost three decades when he decided he wanted his freedom and sought a divorce. For several years, I struggled to adjust to the single life but never really "loved" being single (as some people do). It was okay, but I think life is a whole lot easier when there are two people pulling on the oars.

I was remarried a little more than a year ago. He's a good man and probably a great catch, but I find myself holding back from letting him completely into my heart. When he makes mistakes or does things that annoy me, I find myself thinking "I should just leave now before I get too much invested in this relationship." I'm surprised by this, as I intended to stick with marriage number one for LIFE. I supported the first husband through bankruptcy, mental illness, tragedy, etc. Now I have no patience with husband number two.

I see why second marriages fail at such a higher rate. I don't want to waste another three decades chasing happiness, but never quite finding it.

So, I'm asking if others here have experienced the same challenges on second marriages. And how do you know what to do? How do you know when to bail and when to stay? I went into this thing planning to stay married for life and now, only a year later, I'm already wondering about our future. Is the first year really the hardest? And how could I be so unprepared for the challenges in this second marriage? The challenges are wholly different from the first marriage.

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