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What would have done??

Posted by lsjtc (My Page) on
Tue, Jul 3, 07 at 8:46

This is a family matter, but one that is causing some marriage problems. We have a family member that we have had some conflict with the past 6 years, but we still get along and are civil to each other. We recently received a graduation announcement from this family with no note of a graduation party...only the commencemnet announcement. I checked with a few other family members thinking they were having a party later, but they all told us they rc'd an extra note inside the commencement announcement regarding a party. I first thought possibly it fell out when I opened the envelope, but the party note was the size of a post card. I realize this was very possibly an oversight, but seeing that we have had conflicts in the past, I did not feel right calling and asking about it. I sent a card and money to the graduate and we did not attend the party and now these family members are very cold to my husband and I. Did we do the correct thing? Thanks for your input.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: What would have done??

"I realize this was very possibly an oversight, but seeing that we have had conflicts in the past, I did not feel right calling and asking about it."

I would have found out if it was an oversight.

Do they know WHY you did not attend?


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RE: What would have done??

Yes, they do know why we did not attend and have not come forward with any explanation.


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RE: What would have done??

So were you NOT invited on purpose or by oversight (according to them, since you say they know....)?


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RE: What would have done??

They know, but I'm not sure when they became aware of this. Whether it was on purpose or an oversight and they found out after the party.


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RE: What would have done??

Again... which was it?
Did they not invite you on purpose... or was it a mistake on their part?


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RE: What would have done??

Rise above the pettiness of these people. Just ask them if there is a problem, explain your side of it.


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RE: What would have done??

I don't understand yet, either. 1) Have they told you they're mad because you didn't attend the party? 2) if yes, did you tell them that you didn't get an invitation? 3) if yes, what did they say?

You say they know why you didn't attend (the party??? or the ceremony???), and they ddn't come forward with any explanation. That sounds as though they didn't hear it from you. Is all of this conversation happening throughout the family but not between you (and husband) and the person in question?

Why not just call and say you feel some tension and try to get to the bottom of the apparent hurt feelings (theirs and yours)?


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RE: What would have done??

I guess we are not going to get an explanation.....


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