Although I will add that I believe that the dynamic is different for people who were sexually abused in youth or childhood. And that anyone who starts to feel that their body is being transformed by their partner into merely a vehicle for that partner's sexual gratification--with pressure to perform on top of that (e.g., you have to pretend to be enjoying the process of your body being used as someone's tool for better masturbation) will naturally turn off sexually. It has nothing to do with rejecting the look of the partner. It has everything to do with issues of pressure, intimacy, closeness, trust, respect, a measure of autonomy, etc. A long-term partner is essentially more of a friend and family member than anything else after those first two or three years. Keep up the genuine praise (it must be truly felt, and stated calmly) and kindness, keep being repeatedly respectful, be somewhat autonomous but not aloof, listen carefully, do things outside the house together, engage in non-sexual affection with no groping whatsoever 8 times a day, be affectionate and patient through illness and stressors, be consistently supportive to each other, and you will have a happy enough sex life. Above all, listen, be brave in talking, be calm, and be devoted to your partner--focus on her or him, not your unmet needs if possible. Clean the house together. Laugh, play, spend time having fun, pay honest compliments.

omg....not touching this one with a ten foot pole....although it is tempting....

What did your husband say about the woman who answered his phone? And what reason could she possibly have had for answering his phone? Where was he when she answered it? What do you mean you were "outdone"? 5 years - it's been 5 years. What was the reason that you moved to separate rooms? You seem to still think that there's a possibility (you said he says you're going to have sex and then it doesn't happen). If he's been saying that for 5 years, I'd suggest facing the fact that it's not going to happen. Frankly, I'd want to get to the bottom of what's going on with this other woman. However, even if there's nothing going on, he's made it clear that there's no way you and he are going to have a physical relationship. But you also say that he doesn't spend time with you, take you out, or even watch TV with you. And you call this a marriage? It might not come as a surprise that I'm going to suggests counseling - your marriage issues seem to go well beyond the bedroom. I think the no sex issue is a result of the rest of your marriage gone bad for some reason. See if he's willing to explore it. I'm guessing not. So you will have to decide if you want to live the rest of your life living with someone, as a platonic roommate, who won't even watch TV with you.

Hi Everyone! Thanks all for your concern. I'm not sure what to post, except, I'm quite certain it's MUCH better. He hasn't shown any aggression towards my son in several weeks. He didn't show any aggression towards my daughter either for about 3 weeks but then just recently, he snapped at her. We do take him running. He runs several miles a few times a day. We all run at different times during the day, so he goes on 2-3 runs per day. I take him at around 6a.m., at least one of my kids takes him after school and/or plays fetch with him and then my husband takes him in the evening. He gets PLENTY of exercise. I run the least, which is about 3-4 miles in the morning and on occasion 5 or more miles. I also took him to the vet. The vet is concerned, so he has a dog trainer that is planning to come by. I also contacted the local dog training school, who has not yet returned my phone call or email. BUT, my dog is doing better. I just don't have the heart to take him back to the shelter. He came from a shelter near by, which I believe is VERY good and everyone cares about the animals. They told me he won't get along with other dogs but were sure he would get along well with people. And by all accounts, he did until we brought him home. Remember, we visited him a few times at the shelter and he as great. I am sure that if we take him back,he will be euthanized and that idea is just too heartbreaking. My dog has some very loving qualities and such great charm.