if you really want to defuse things, remember that the main audience isn't actually your landlord but your neighbor. You don't want to cave in to him, but the more reasonable and pleasant you seem in his eyes, the less grounds he'll have to escalate tensions. You might get yourself ready w/ a plan shoudl this happen again (so you don't have to think on your feet but can follow the script). He complains about the TV, then you should say, "oh, can we come down and hear what it's like from your apartment? Because you can see from being here int he room, the TV is not that loud--we can't really hear it in the kitchen. So it'll help us to know what it sounds like downstairs." Ditto on the walking--if you sort of demonstrate that you're trying to understand where he's coming from, it might make him less likely to blame you without even thinking about you as people. So tell him you'd like to hear it from his point of view, and take turns listening to one another walk through the floor. Of course, you don't want to say, "gee, it doesn't sound that loud to ME!" bcs that'll piss him off, but you could say, "well, it sounds about the same as our upstairs neighbor, it may just be this building" or even, "gee, that's interesting. Thanks for letting us hear it." without having to apologize and promise something you can't or won't deliver (because you're not going to tiptoe, of course).

Is the guy actually her father? Children often say they want a parent when stressed, upset or hurt but they don't typically ask for "my daddy" or "my mommy" in the presence of the very parent they're asking for. Not saying a 3 year old would never do that, every child is different. But usually when worded "I want my ...." the person they want is not right there in front of them. No offense meant to you, but I'm uneasy with the living arrangements in general for a little girl, but that's just me. She's also at an age where she should be in her own room, not still sharing one with her dad. (Could that possibly be pressuring & stressing her father?) Is her mother completely out of the picture? As far as how she's being treated, I agree it's not good and applaud you for caring. She may well need your eyes, ears and voice on her behalf. Use prudence in rushing to judgment and calling Child Protective Services. Again, I'm not condoning his behavior, only suggesting there is the possibility it might not be the norm. Perhaps he knows it's not the best living arrangement for his daughter, wants to improve it but is feeling hindered so takes his frustration out on her, the very child he's trying to shelter. If he's coming from a place like that, your move in could have tripped the switch of a situation that was already weighing heavily on him. If he's indeed her father and this isn't common for him, hasty calls to CPS can be a parents' and child's worst nightmare, split families apart & ruin lives. On the other hand, they can be a lifeline to a child being mistreated. You sound like a very mature person. My suggestion is to continue to closely watch out for her and hope for her sake it was an isolated and atypical incident. If it appears to by typical, then the little girl needs some help and sounds like her dad does, too.

Ugh, this is not a fun situation to be in--where you are making a normal amount of noise, but have a fussy neighbor who complains about it. Before you meet with your landlord, come up with a list of things you are willing to do to reduce the impact of your daily living activities as much as possible for your neighbor. Wait, you say, we're not doing anything wrong? Why should we have to change? Because you want to show your landlord that while you know you aren't making too much noise, you are at the same time willing to work with the landlord to calm down the sensitive neighbor. You want to be pro-active with your landlord, showing that you are trying to be good neighbors, instead of being re-active, and only changing your behavior after the neighbor complains to the landlord. Things that might go on your list: Trying to sort the cars out before 10 pm. I live in a neighborhood where nearly everyone has a small driveway and multiple cars and frankly, it's annoying to hear car doors shutting and all the beeps of car alarms being reset late at night. Do your best to get this done as early in the evening as possible. And sometimes you might have to sort some of the cars out in the morning, if someone comes home really late. Midnight really does seem a bit late to be doing this, and you are probably bothering other neighbors as well. And keep your voices down as much as possible when moving cars late at night--sound seems to travel more in the dark. Move the "noise" of the gatherings and board games. If your duplex is one that is side-by-side, move the action away from the shared wall. If the duplex is one-over-the-other, see if you can't move to a different room, where the noise will bother the neighbor less. There are things you can do to help keep any sound generated in your space in your space. Area rugs, curtains and upholstered furniture--the fabric absorbs some of the sound. Bookcases filled with books also work as a sound barrier--if you have a shared wall, put the bookcases there. Or hang a large fabric wall hanging, like a geometric quilt. Move speakers for your TV or music away from any shared walls. Make sure that the bass is turned down, and if you live over the neighbor, isolate the speakers from the floor and walls so that vibrations don't carry as well. Establish "quiet hours." There, that probably makes you feel like you are right back in your college dorm, doesn't it? But make them reasonable, like, Sunday through Thursday, you will do your best to keep noise down after 10 or 11 pm. Friday and Saturday, move the time to 11 pm or midnight. This does not mean that all noise stops. It means that you do your best to be quiet, but you are still going to have game night. Maybe the neighbor could tell you which room he's in most often on Thursday nights, and you could move the games to a different area of the house. Then you can approach your landlord with the list of things you are willing to do. And you point out that the neighbor is getting upset by people just sitting and talking, which you think is a little unreasonable. After all, you have the right to use your apartment for normal, daily living activities--like having a conversation with your roommates and friends. So, while the four of you are willing to do some things to keep the peace, you'd like to know what the neighbor is willing to do. Earplugs? A white noise machine? Keeping his windows closed? It's a two-way street. You give a little to get a little peace from the neighbor. The neighbor puts up with a little more noise than he wants, but gets a reasonable amount of quiet time.

LOL, Kathleen, I cracked up at this being Spud's pattern! Smart bunny! By the way, I checked eBay again, and the big cake plates are still going for over $30 plus another $12 to ship one. I paid $12 for mine! Jane, as soon as I scooped up those pink pillars, I thought of all you guys. Its like you were there with me. I have a larger, clear lidded bunny dish from antique shop. I see them fairly often, along with the hen ones. And in colors. I didn't need this one from Home Goods, but that didn't stop me from buying it. Tho I sure liked the blue one a lot. LOL. Oh my gosh, Yacht, I can't imagine having a Home Goods 15 min away. I'd probably bankrupt us. Its bad enough Michaels, Ross, and Dollar Tree is that close to me. LOL. That is so cute about your GD wanting to do a table, and I can't wait to see pictures of what she does. I'm so sorry her shopping trip to DT was disappointing. hugs, Karen