Husband jealous of career
jyyanks
13 years ago
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asolo
13 years agolast modified: 9 years agofinedreams
13 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
I am jealous!
Comments (7)Argh! It's so frustrating, isn't it. Finally, finally!, I have 2 tomatoes turning red (didn't look to see who they were, though). I think I'll pick them tomorrow just for the novelty of it. :-) It seemed to happen overnight. Well, over 3 days, to be exact. I was getting so discouraged that I didn't even go to the garden for several days. Phooey, if they want to take their sweet time then I'm not going to pay attention to them. That's a bummer about your husband tossing out the red tomato. When will he be out of the hospital? :-) I have roughly a bajillion green tomatoes, too. They're big, very big, but seem to be content with staying green. Move over, I'm gonna cry with you....See MoreJealous? Who, me? Am I?
Comments (9)What would you do if he was in another profession dominated by members of your sex....like nursing, for example? As with flight attendants, the close association is impossible to avoid. The flight attendant job has the additional twist of having him at a distance, also, but the idea's the same. Unless you demand that he change jobs, you'd better get straight about this. Close association socially and professionally will be part of his life -- and yours. Your job is to be a such a wonderful wife and mother, that any temptation -- which I think is what you're worried about -- can be easily resisted. Being b..tchy about it won't help. This business of turning off your phone was pretty stupid. Do you have a good man or not? If you do, don't play these stupid games with him. Feigned jealousy can be cute from time to time. Real jealousy -- such as you've just described in yourself -- is poison. No reason you can't discuss this frankly and openly but it appears to me from your description that this personal characteristic of yours is causing you -- and him -- more grief than it should. Unless you're already dealing with a history of infidelity or suspicious acts, I suspect you may be about to cause them by your own behavior....See MoreAbusive/jealous Husband
Comments (9)I would like for you to go back to your original post and read everything you wrote. Your answer is in there, but better yet, pretend someone else wrote it and what your advice to that person will be. I was 16 when I married my first husband. He was 21 and he was imediatley verbally and physically abusive. I was at the point of committing suicide because I felt I had no way out. One day he hit me on the head and I tell you he hit me so hard, that I felt no pain, but can remember falling in slow motion. When I regained my consciousness, he was kicking me. I got up and fought back with everything I had in me and it startled him because he did not expect that. I left him that night and I never looked back. I was about 3 weeks pregnant and I did not know it at the time. I have had the most wonderful life with my present husband, I married him when I was 27 and has always seen my daughter from my previous marriage as his. We have been married for almost 23 years. My point is, if a 16 year old girl can toughen up and make a big girl decission, so can you at 25. You are young and don't let anybody steal the most precious thing you have,that being the rest of your life. Now go sign those divorce papers, and start living again....See MoreHusbands Ex Constantly Calling Just To Talk to Husband
Comments (20)Hello I'm sorry if I have offended some people with my comments. I don't think I explained my situation very well and, as we are all prone to doing when we are feeling down, I focused too much on the negative in my posts. I hope that in not having put my best foot forward I haven't messed up my chances of being able to use the forum to offer and receive support in the future. I certainly didn't want to upset anyone. Hoping to clear up a few issues of doubt (my fault for not making it clearer): 1. I have no problem at all with my partner calling his kids once a day. Twice a day. Whenever he needs to. I should have made it clear that my gripe was with my partner usually calling his ex-wife when his kids aren't even there. This is his right, as their father, to ask about their well-being, but I happen to know that the conversations are rarely limited to his kids. I simply ask him not to hide these calls from me because it creates suspicion where there doesn't need to be any. when he calls her in fron tof me i leave the room. i respect his privacy. But there is no place for hiding stuff in a partnership. he does not HAVE to hide calls to his kids from me in any way shape or form. I'm sorry if my post gave that impression. 2. With regard to the financial situation. My ex gives me as much as he can, which is enough for us to get by on if I work. I have to work to raise my kids. I have always worked. I'm not looking for a free lunch from anyone. My problem with my partner is that his ex has refused to look for work for two years now. We have been struggling because the money he has left after giving 70% of his salary (his choice, not court imposed) to his ex does not cover what we spend and we do NOT live a life of luxury. I appreciate that he has to pay for his kids and compensate his ex for her loss of income due to their divorce. But it's tough when you are both working so hard to make ends meet (actually not BOTH...three of us..because my ex also works hard) and your partner's ex can run up three hundred dollar phone bills in a month calling her latest guy...and you know you will end up footing the bill. This has happened. Things LIKE this happen too much. 3. His kids visiting. I will admit that I did not have a very clear concept of what this would be like for my kids. There are a lot more issues here than I went into in my posts. One of my children has Aspergers and we try to keep to a fairly a tight routine for him. This is not respected when his kids come. My kids are supposed to be in bed by nine but often, he is still here with his kids at this time and I end up having to virtually ask him to leave, which is really ugly. But when you are trying to hold lifer together as a working mom with four kids, things like getting them to bed on time are really important. Having two kids running around at this time makes things stressful when they don't need to be. Rules are not respected sometimes because tends to be soft on his kids. I understand this, when he has limited time with them adn doesn't want to be the bad guy. but it means that my kids get very confused about what is right and wrong. I take a back step and allow him to discipline his own kids but it's hard for mine to understand that there is one rule for them and one rule for my partner's kids. he feels his kids should have complete run of the house when they come. i say there are boundaries that should be respected, which are ONLY the same boundaries that I impose on my own kids, such as them not being allowed to take food without asking, such as the younger kids not being allowed into their older sister's bedroom without permission. To him, this is me not making them feel at home. 4. Vacations. I appreciate that my attitude seems selfish. OK, I admit that it is. I have tried to suggest us going on separate vacations. Last year we did that. We went away with his kids for six days to the beach while mine were with their dad at the beach. Then, when I wanted usto go away with my kids to the beach later in the Summer, he insisted we take his kids too because by taking mine away with us to stay with my friends who had invited us to their rented beach house for a week, my kids were then getting more days at the beach than kis because they had already had six days at the beach with their Dad. Things like that leave you with a bad taste in your mouth because everything gets painted like a competition. my kids are always painted as the lucky ones. I can't take them on a day trip without him insisting we do the same with his kids the following week. He is NOT expected to pay for these trips, by the way. I have familyin England. My whole family. I take my kids there once a year. I can't afford to take them all. I usually have to take one at a time for financial reasons but it is important for them to see their grandparents. What we keep on getting is that it's HIS kids' turn next. I find this really hard. I pay for these trips. Actually, the last few years my family have helped me out and paid for these trips. I would find it so hard to justify to my kids that I would take his kids to stay with THEIR grandparents, leaving them behind. OK, so his kids miss out on a plane trip. But they have all four grandparents down the street. We all have blessings and crosses to bear. They're not always the same. And yes, I am sadly doing my children a disservice a lot of the time because I am trying so hard to make this work and to make him happy and make his kids happy. I think maybe that is why I feel so resentful at times. And I'm glad that some of you have pointed that out to me. xx...See Morepopi_gw
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