Any childless by choice married couples out there?
Meghane
21 years ago
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MatildaS
19 years agolast modified: 9 years agojamie_mt
19 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Please help me narrow down my choices for a couple of fig trees
Comments (5)FWIW: There is a rumor I read once, that Black Jack is just a sport of Black Mission. The main difference between the two is the growth of the trees, Black Jack being a more natural semidwarf, black mission eventually getting rather large as figs go. Or so I understand. My personal experience with Black Jacks and Black Missions is that the fruits look and taste exactly the same....See MoreFinances for married couples
Comments (16)This is absolutely a topic where each couple has to forge the method that works best for them. There is no one right answer, no wrong one--as LONG as the couple makes their method work. I personally feel extremely strongly that couples need to keep their money separate. DH and I have been married 37 years, have always had our own accounts, our separate investments, etc--and not once EVER have we fought over money (plenty of other things, but never money). After all, being married doesn't make you one person--you don't automatically merge and start using each other's clothes, shoes, jewelry, do you? Of course not. Most couples I know have separate cars--they may occasionally use each other's car, but for the most part, each drives one more than the other. There's absolutely nothing wrong with keeping finances separate. DH and I--while both frugal and very fiscally responsible--have differing investment preferences. I can't imagine having to balance a checkbook every month that's being used willy-nilly by 2 people--it's much simpler to each have your own. Aside from the convenience factor, every person, IMO--should absolutely have enough money put away, IN THEIR OWN name so they can get along for at least 6 months or so. Any number of different disasters can affect one's ability to access community funds. Death, a split, a partner who suddenly decides to empty the joint account, legal action, etc etc etc. I've known too many older women who let their husband's manage/control the family finances who, at the worst time of their lives had to deal with not only losing their husband and planning a funeral, but having also to try to find and understand all the various investments, insurances, savings, etc. When you manage your own money, all your life, you don't have that panic to go through. As to the person who couldn't understand nor agree with individuals wanting money that they could spend without accounting for it? Well, even in the best relationships, one may want to buy the other a special gift--without having to ask for, or justify using the money. To me, as I said above--money is exactly like shoes. It does NOT adversely affect a relationship if each person keeps their shoes and money separate from the other. In our case, I have been so effective at managing my money, that even though I havne't worked full time in over 28 years, I had enough money saved, to be able to buy--on my own--our retirement home 2 years ago, and maintain it financially. I'm proud that I was able to do that for my husband. And he has so much respect for my money managing ability that he recently received a sizable inheritance that he immediately handed to me, and told me to 'do what I wanted with it'--knowing full well, I will care and grow that money for our retirement years, as I have with all other money I've gotten my hands on in the past 4 decades. I'm not saying that our method is right for all (even though I do believe everyone needs some money of their own), but I do wish to illustrate that there are many, many different methods that couples can use, that may work for them. Lastly--I have to make this point--if you knew us, you'd agree that there are few people you know in life who are more married, more devoted to each other than my DH and I--keeping money separate is NOT a detriment to a good marriage, any more than dumping it together will insure one will never get a divorce. Every couple is different, and the more important thing is that the two of you work together, agree on how you will manage money, and then follow through responsibly....See MoreChildless, not by choice.
Comments (2)Just wanted to say, I'm childless not by choice, but because I didn't ovulate properly. I would have probably had to have taken fertility drugs to get pregnant. By time I found this out I was in my mid 30's and really didn't want to start a family then. I began peri-menopause at 38. Sometimes I wonder what will happen to my husband and I when we get old and he said the state would put us in a nursing home just like our kids would if we had any. It isn't the worst thing. And in this day and time, when I believe Jesus is coming soon, but probably not before things get worse (like Sept. llth and Anthrax) it is better not to have little ones, the Bible says that. We have 5 cats instead, all inside, so I am kept plenty busy. They are much like children. With adult step-children you may one day have step-grandchildren. Don't worry to much about it. I do have that lonesome, empty feeling sometimes until I hear some child screaming in the store "Mommy, I want that.", and there is no relief unless the toy is bought or the kid leaves the store....See MoreSingle & Childless
Comments (18)Here is what happens when you don't meet the right person and you are 50...absolutely nothing....life goes on. This is my own personal experience. I only mentioned this because life sometimes deals you a bad hand. I am very glad to hear Carrie may have found someone. Some people get very depressed and others get over it. My sister had it both ways and loves being single. She is almost 50, no kids, no crisis. A personal crisis is created when you measure yourself against what you THINK is societies norm. Well I have found that similar groups of people in society find one another. About 90% of my friends and neighbors that I associate with are single, childless and are about 50. They never found the right person. Some of them had their moments of depression but got through it. Another "for instance" is that they are all non-smokers. Obviously that was no accident but you get my point. If you dwell on a bad situation, it can eat you alive. When you find a relationship that you thought would work out but ends up blowing up on you...the operative word to meditate on is: "NEXT"!...See Morephyllis_philodendron
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