Ready for divorce after 45 years
Scorpio1947
10 years ago
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emma
10 years agoamyfiddler
10 years agoRelated Discussions
Transplanting 45 year old Camellia
Comments (11)I have had a chance to move some rather large camellias in the past. In fact I moved over a hundred back some years ago. You may be moving them a little early in the year but on the upper Pacific Coast, the weather might be in your favor. First, root prune the camellias at about 36 inches from the trunk. If you can get wider, go as wide away from the trunk as possible. The Camellia has shallow roots and you will get most of them within the top foot of top soil. I would use an 18" sharp shooter. Go all around each plant about 18" deep. Second, prepare the place where you are going to plant the Camellias. I would till up an area about 6 ft. in diameter per plant. After you till the soil to at least 18" to 24"deep, I would add about 3 or 4 cu. ft. of a combination of ground up pine bark and sand. I would till this into the spot and also add some natural fertilizer. If you have cotton seed meal available, I would use that. I would put in about 10 lbs of cotton seed meal into the mixture of pine bark and sand. This will give you a real fluffy mound. It should be about 6 ft. wide. Let it sit for as long as you can before moving the large plants. When you move the plants, the later in the year the better, I would move off the top foot of soil from your prepared bed, sit the large rootball on top of the soil and cover it with the soil mixture that you removed. You will note that you are planting the Camellia on the top of the ground. Do not dig it out so that you are planting the plant in a hole. You want to have it sitck out of the ground at least 8 to 10 inches. Prune the top of the plant back to about 18: from the trunk of the plant. Keep it watered good but do not drown it. Let it settle on its own. Within 3 or 4 months it will settle about six inches and will continue to settle a little more over the next year. Keep at least two inches of the soil mixture over the exposed roots. I would also use some root tone in the hole to stimulate new root growth. I wrote an article for the Camellia Journel several years ago about moving established Camellias. If you would contact Tom Johnson, the chief gardner at the American Camellia Society through their web site, he could probably get you some articles on moving large Camellias. Ann Walton is the Executive Director of the A.C.S. and she may be able to point you to someone in the Washington area who has some experience as well. Bob...See MoreParents Divorcing After 35 Years
Comments (39)I'll get flamed for saying this, but... Divorce is SOOOOOO much harder to deal with than death. My mom always told me that and now, having talked with several women who experienced both death of a spouse and divorce of a spouse, I have no more doubts. When they die, you get sympathy cards and tasty casseroles and warm hugs. When they divorce you, there's very little sympathy. When they die, you have to learn to live alone and cope the best you can but you have memories of good times to sustain you. When it's a divorce, you have to learn to live alone and you ALSO have to deal with the agony of rejection, abandonment, disappointment and figure out how to make peace with the fact that the marriage you invested your heart and soul in - failed. When it's loss by death, at least you have sweet memories to hang onto. When it's a divorce, all those memories through all those years get injected with a toxic hit of poison, with comments such as, "You know, I don't think I ever did really love you..." My mom was divorced after 28 years. It was very very hard on her but she survived and the rest of her long life was happy and joyful and sweet and good. My dad did the same thing as yours; walked out so he could take up with someone new. I was divorced after 24 years. It was very very hard but I survived and now I'm married to a good man and his life's purpose is to make me happy. Took six years to get here, but it's pretty nice. My thoughts and prayers are with your Mom. I hope she gets through this okay. Rose...See MorePurchasing a home with 45 year old appliances
Comments (68)Thanks for the ideas. Yes that is what I need to do except we went and looked at that house again and it has not been kept up with, and has mold in the basement now, with the plants along the house shriveled up we can see cracks in the foundation and I requested that the water be turned on so we could check that that works, toilets,etc. but they didn't have it on. The plumber was there and did winterize it but they still have it for sale.How can you buy a house when the water and gas aren't even on? They knew we were close to getting our sold because my relator told their relator the other day, then today they winterize?Seems they are hiding something as the water has never been turned on anytime we have walked thru that house. Plus we know the water heater was leaking and there was water all over the basement floor too. That is probably why the water was off but sheesh you know!! If you want to sell your house you fix what has to be fixed so you can show it. Now we have our house sold and no house to buy. Nothing on the market we want. How did this happen... Got to find a place but winter is upon us and our closing is Dec 5. Whoa is me. Will keep you posted. There is a very nice house going on the auction block and it looks very nice but I bet it will go for more than we have to pay. We want to be mortgage free totally. But the taxes there are high too so this tax info will help with this house. Going to get a hold of the courthouse this week. Auction is Nov 9....See MoreCan my marriage work when his Ex after 8 years has not let go?
Comments (5)Grace, If you allow her to cause problems with you and your husband, she will. If he allows her calls to cause problems between you and him, and he chooses to continue taking her 'non child related' calls then the problem is HIM. I can understand how he feels if she might make things difficult for him so he is trying to keep the peace. My mom never let go and my dad was the one that had to lay down the law to her. She still hasn't let go completely but she knows that certain things are unacceptable. He's the only one that can tell her and if he feels it could affect seeing his kids, I would try to be more understanding. The fact that she wants him back and still loves him has nothing to do with how HE feels. He's obviously moved on and married to you. It's probably a tough position for him to be in. I was almost 18 when my dad remarried so he probably never felt he could lose his kids, most of us were old enough to see him on our own. and of course, I felt loyalty to my mom so it did affect my relationship with my dad, even as a young adult. I imagine it would be much harder for a younger child. The best advice I could give is work on being supportive of your husband. If he can't refuse to take her calls, know that he has a good reason. His kids. When her calls are excessive, maybe turn off the phone so it doesn't interrupt your time together. Ignore her emails. Of course the daughters want their family together. They are kids, no surprise there. What she wants is irrelevant, he is remarried and as long as he doesn't want to go back, it doesn't matter what she wants. Don't put the pressure of your relationship to his kids on your husband. It's up to you to form your own relationship with the kids. If they are not open to it or tell you what their mom says, simply let them know you are sorry their mom feels that way but you want to get to know them, have a good relationship with them, etc. Don't force it, it takes time & patience. It will also depend on the ages of the kids and how loyal they are to their mom. If they have been divorced for 8 years, I assume they are tweens/teens and that is a difficult time for kids ANYWAYS.... let alone during a remarriage that mom is upset over....See Moresusie53_gw
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