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Needy/Independent imbalance

Posted by jrnyc (My Page) on
Fri, Jun 11, 10 at 12:04

I am an overly sensitive husband whose wife is stretched very thin. Little things like turning her cheek when I kiss her, snapping at me when she is tired, or just plain being moody send me into "worry mode," which makes me more needy/clingy, and the problem progresses.

I am getting therapy for my issues. My wife has expressed that she is incredibly stressed out and unhappy, and that it has nothing to do with me. I do more than my share around the house/yard, I do the bills, etc. I don't know what else I can take on (and when I ask, she won't give anything up -- one of her issues). My wife has expressed that she wants to be with me, and that I am the man of her dreams.

Her persistent unhappiness (and how uneasy it makes me feel) is driving me crazy. This is becoming a self-perpetuating cycle. She won't go to therapy (individual or couples), and while I recognize that I have my own issues, I am positive she has some of her own.

What to do =(

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Needy/Independent imbalance

As an aside, I have been doing much more "on my own," and have been trying to give her space, and take care of myself. I don't know if it is helping, because I see no change in her.

RE: Needy/Independent imbalance

What are the stress-factors?

Not clear on the needy/clingy thing. People have all kinds of different ideas about too little / too much so hard to get a feel for your particular situation.

However, nobody likes to have their "emotional temperature" taken at frequent intervals.

Can you be more descriptive....perhaps with a few more examples?

RE: Needy/Independent imbalance

So you are needy and your wife is stressed and unhappy.

Gosh, at least you know what the issues are, that is half the problem solved.

Does she know that stress can affect her health, raise her blood pressure which is not good. One of the easiest things to lower stress is going for a nice walk.

Could you and your wife just step out the door and walk and talk. You would be doing something together, and relieving the stress. Perhaps your wife should have a health check, maybe there is more to the problem.

As, Asolo says, more description would be helpful. Any children ?

RE: Needy/Independent imbalance

If she do not go to therapy. You may record some voice or video in home about her behaviors and provide to your therapist. You may also read a good book about good relationship.

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