Very Needy Husband
bluemom
14 years ago
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asolo
14 years agosweeby
14 years agoRelated Discussions
Very important Christmas - Need gift ideas for husband
Comments (11)In response to the accountant remark, its not the IRS, its the state and not an income tax audit. I have paid a CPA $11k to do a forensic audit on me and according to them the state owes me $4k. This state is going after anything they can get so they won't have a shortfall. They hired 49 new auditors for this. It was a sales tax audit. I was told 20 years ago not to tax on vehicles by the DMV because I an not a dealer. They were wrong. I have to pay the sales tax on all the cars I have sold through my business. I have 11 people I know going through the same thing. The reason it has taken 3 years is they kept asking for extensions because they are short handed. So thanks but no thanks for your smart a$s comments, you have no clue what you are talking about....See MoreMy needy mother
Comments (4)If you're feeling stressed, annoyed, and generally brought down after every interaction with your mom, then she IS toxic for you and you have the right and the duty to yourself to set some boundaries with her. The fact is, she has the choice to behave in a way that's pleasant for others to be around or in a way that puts people off and she has to live with the consequences of her choices. Saying that she shouldn't have to change is the same as saying "Your feelings don't matter because I'm the only one who's important around here." There' s a great book and website by Karyl McBride called, "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" that describes the havoc narcissistic mothers create in their daughters' lives. It's not your responsibility to make your mother's life happy or to heal her childhood pain. Limit the time you spend with her to brief chats and keep the conversation about the weather or something else non-controversial. You're struggling to better yourself, she can do the same. When she tries to pull you into the negative talk, tell her you're learning that life is much easier when you approach things with a positive attitude. It takes two to play tug-o-war. If one person drops the rope, the game is over. Drop your end of the rope. Good luck....See MoreSo very sad for my husband
Comments (37)We are going through some of this with DS and DIL who married last year. DIL, seemingly overnight, decided she did not like us before they became engaged. There were some tribulations over the wedding plans and I felt she was rude and disrespectful on more than one occasion. My son would always come over alone, unless it was a holiday or special occasion. Then there is the issue of holidays.....they revolve around her parents and their schedule. I did expect this but not quite to such an extent. The year before last we were told that they could only stop by for about an hour or two xmas eve day in the afternoon for appetizers. Well, I had not planned on doing afternoon appetizers but I did anyway.....and then everyone was too full for dinner. I was not happy having spent the day preparing food. (They spent xmas eve and all of xmas day with her folks). So, this year I took a different tack. I say...this is what we are doing and when and we'd love it if you can join us. If it fits into their schedule, great. If it doesn't, that's ok too. I've just let it go. All last year, when we would see DIL I was cordial but kept my distance after having tried on several occasions to forge a better relationship with her and getting nowhere. Well, she is slowly becoming more pleasant with us. Don't know where her new attitude came from! She just had a surprise bday party for DS and I helped with alot of the stuff and she thanked me profusely...so I am hoping we are turning a corner....but not holding my breath. But, to answer OP, let it go. You may feel disappointed from time to time but it's not going to make for a happy family by making them feel guilty when they don't want to or can't participate. As others have suggested, ask them to get together another day or weekend....it's still several weeks away. Maybe they just want to start some of their own traditions. You need to be cordial and polite to D's IL.....but you don't need to be close....See MoreVery affectionate husband but is not intimate
Comments (8)This is a sad situation and is it even possible for it to be better? I knew someone long ago with a similar scenario but no kids involved and there was resolution. She used a pastor and her family to help her through but that was long ago and far away. Not saying you can't do this by yourself but there is a lot of garbage that comes floating to the top and for that you might need help/guidance. Counseling is really for you because as time goes by we all have the tendency to blame ourselves when that might not be correct. Not saying there is anyone to blame about this particular situation. People change, things happen, life gets in the way. Think of a counselor as a coach. You are walking in a mind field literally. You need a field guide. Making that first phone call for help is really hard but the road to health begins with you taking the first step. You came here and asked strangers so imagine how much easier it will be with someone who has experience with these situations and knows possible areas to explore to get the answers you both need. Don't get stuck on the why's and how's, move forward. You are only 30 with a child on the way. If for no other reason that child needs a balanced and healthy mother. Be the change you want. Hugs to you!...See Moretracystoke
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