Hey all -

My first marriage was to my highschool sweetheart....i turned 18, got married and a few years later had a beautiful baby girl....while pregnant and at home post-natal.....my husband (whom I had been with 10years total) was doing his secretary. For appx 12 months before I conclusively realized this. Near ALL of my "friends" knew about this..... I felt like such an idiot. We divorced....he married the girl he was cheating on me with, cheated on her, they divorced...... i went on to date for a few years

Husband #2 - Seem to ride in like a white night......everything about him was perfect! I had a four year old daughter - he, a 7 year old son.....we could be the perfect family.....we married 4 months after meeting......I got pregnant and very sick at the same time (I have systemic lupus)...i was either in the hospital or quite medicated during the entire pregnance while he abused my little girl (emotionally)......make her sleep in the garage - told her to pee on her toybox....told her to tell my sweet angel that she hates me......it goes on...his 7 year old son seemed to have turned from a cherub into a smaller version of his sick father. All the while, I didn't know this was happening.... one day my ex dropped my daughter off after a weekend and told me to call him...I did and he told me what had been going on...my daughter finally told someone........I took my diaper bag.....my new baby son, my now 5 year old daughter, stroller - and said we were going for a "walk" we went 60 miles to my sisters home and never went back. Narcissistic man whom everyone thinks is wonderful.....very convincing....anyone....I proceeded to get extrememly sick from this......had to move to my parents home (vacant as they were living their retirement dream elsewhere)... I got sicker and sick and my rheumatologists told me I would continue to decline if I didn't live in a non-humid and warm environment. I spoke with parents, and ex (daughters dad - we'd managed to be "friends" sort of)....I planned to move from the Northwest to the desert southwest to try to regain health and some semblance of a normal life. My brother lived in the desert and offered us shelter until we were on our feet. My little boy was then 4 years old (his dad never saw him....deadbeat dad) and my daughter was 10 - her dad loved her and made sure that he paid me everymonth - extra if it was needed. My daughter stayed with her dad....he's a wonderful man and I couldn't take her from him with the understanding that we would schedule many many visits (she doesn't tolerate the heat well at all to this day!). I got to the desert.....immediately my health improved and within months was off most medications I had been taking. I found a wonderful job that I'm doing well at, then met a great guy who.....once we dated one time...woudn't leave me alone.

This is long I know, but, I dated this guy for a year and a half and we married......my daughter as my maid of honor (now 12) my son in tow and all of our family members all trekked to Hawaii. It was beautiful. That was 4 years ago. We had a great relationship.......wonderful sex life - 4-5 times per week....laughed with eachother....enjoyed our life together....

Now, Things are so different. As the years go by in the desert (now here for 6 years - married for four of them) My son is excelling in school - now 4th grade "student of the year 4 years in a row" - lovely polite outgoing boy... daughter is doing wonderfully with her dad who is a bad bad husband but great dad.

3rd hubs is kind of mean to my son......just snotty when he talks to him.......our sex life has LEFT. In the past 1.5 years, probably been together 8times...... No, I didn't get fat....i'm exactly the same.....he's put on 50 lbs and is just a couch potatoe. Now its mother's day, he ignored it basically. Our anniversary was a few days ago.....no gift..... i put together a gorgeous montage of the two of together for the past 6 years in in black and white photos framed really cool.... he did nothing......sex happend....not good..... we argue all the time......the sight of him sometimes turns my stomache....when i hear him speaking rudely to my wonderful child.....i hate him....... i don't know what to do.........it all seems so fake! When we got together....i was still on a lot of meds for Lupus....now I take nothing....and i feel like a different person not.... i hate thinking this....but i dated the first guy i met in the desert....then married him...... i think he wasn't the right one but what do i do? NOW, i'm doing nothing and trying to make the best of it...... stick up for my son even thought it makes hubs mad...... hate it when i see his car in the driveway...... don't know what to do.......