What was the biggest surprise?

21 years ago

After you got married, what was the thing you found the most surprising, or different than what you expected? Not necessarily bad, not necessarily good, just not what you expected?

DH and I never lived together, so what time he went to bed never really came across my mind. We came home after the honeymoon, and here is a guy who goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:00pm most nights, then is up with the dawn. I like to stay up later, and sleep in later.

I come from a family of nighthawks (not layabeds, just nighthawks), so it was really strange for me at first to get used to such an early bird. But I've gotten used to being more considerate about noise after 9pm, and he's gotten used to sleeping through phone calls etc. after he's in bed.

Comments (17)

des_arc_ya_ya
21 years ago
I didn't notice that he SNIFFED all the time! LOL When I told him that, he told me, "Well, you didn't tell me that you'd cough all winter every winter, either!" LOL If that's all we had to discover - we're doing okay!

Hi, Dances!
waddles28
21 years ago
My biggest surprise was what a slob I was. It was always just me and I would clean every two weeks. I was never home when I was single so I didn't mess up the place. When I got married we stayed home more often and I found out I don't pick up after myself.
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LianneNJ
21 years ago
i didn't expected he'd take over the dishwashing or laundry detail!! nor did i expected he'd keep remembering (without me ever having to tell him even once) to take his greasy garage shoes off at the door before walking on the carpet! definitely very nice surprises ;o)
Meghane
21 years ago
Aleksander, my Husky, for my birthday 6 years ago.

Actually, Dave is FULL of pleasant surprises. He always does the grocery shopping and usually the laundry. He cooks a lot because I get home from work later. When I am in school (Sept-May) he does ALL of the housework, unless I'm particularly under-loaded. I do it all in the summer, though.

To top it all off, he doesn't want kids either! I knew that way before we got married (otherwise I wouldn't have married him), but it was a nice surprise when we were just getting to know each other.
Carlotta_Bull
21 years ago
We didn't live together before we got married, either. My biggest surprise was our heat differences. He can sleep in a deep freeze & I want to be warm & toasty. I feel funny wearing footed PJ's in the middle of the summer!
lpolk
21 years ago
Dances, the bedtime difference happened to me too, and after living together 8 yrs (married 3) it still can cause problems, LOL! DH just requires much less sleep than I do, so he is in later and up earlier, which still wakes me up on both ends. We are much more in synch on vacation. He also naps while I don't which is cheating! :)

My surprise for me would be nesting: despite living together for years, when we actually got married I suddenly redecorated our apt and bought new drapes, and sheets, etc. to create a "home." Meghanne, we aren't planning on kids either, and we rent an apt. and travel a lot which makes us very different than our house/kids/van'd friends, so the nesting part made me laugh at myself.
ruthanna_gw
21 years ago
That he was total wimp when it came to dead animals. I just assumed it would be a 'man's job' to empty the mousetrap, remove a dead chipmunk out of the pool, clean fish, etc. but he would actually get ill if he had to do anything like that. So I traded him that job for doing the dishes and we've done that ever since.
eileen_launonen
21 years ago
My husband is a very sweet nice guy not a person that meets him doesnt like him...we didnt live together before marraige either. I always thought.. ahh.. Ill finally see some nasty side no ones this nice or calm...well 10 yrs later and im still waiting...I really did luck out with just a real good guy! Its like they say every pot has a lid
kimhaas
21 years ago
It seems that once we moved in together, I realized how bad his feet are. I know this is so petty, but he has big, gnarly feet...and well....they STINK!! And of course, he, under no circumstances, can throw them into the hamper all by his self. So he will lay them by our bed, of course by my side. By the time I wake up, I am gagging.
Mavourneen
21 years ago
He didn't realise that I wouldn't cook meat! He knew I was vegetarian but we had just never discussed home cooking or anything! lol
basilmom
21 years ago
I am still surprised that there are few things he can't do. Not lying here...anything from imbalm a body to build a house...oh and weld on a bridge 200 feet under water and fly a plane...and he isn't a bragger either. He just DOES it (well the imbalming thing doesn't come up too often since he left his family's funeral home to get a more exciting life).

BUT he cannot load the dishwasher correctly. It's a fair trade though, because I can't lay a wood floor with boards that I routed myself...:)
caroline94535
18 years ago
We adjusted with much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

I was 36; DH was 30 when we married. It was his first marriage, not mine. I'd been single, and completely independent, for 12+ years. We dated for three years but never lived together until after the wedding.

One of the things that bothered/surprised me the most was seeing his socks in "my" laundry hamper. I was thinking 'why are his dirty socks in my bathroom?' Oh! He lives here; this is his bathroom; this is his hamper. We now share laundry!

It was so weird having to adjust to someone else living in the house. There were two toothbrushes and extra towels in the bathroom. There were more coffee cups on the counter. Someone's eating my icecream! It's the little things that will throw you for a loop.
jannie
18 years ago
My younger sister got married just after her 18th birthday. I asked her what married life was like and she told me she was shocked at how much laundry a man has. Did I know men wear both shirts and undershirts?
intherain
18 years ago
I have to really think about this - it's been almost 20 years.

My husband came from a family where MOM did EVERYTHING. Yep, it was Leave it to Beaver in the 1980s. Fast forward 20 years and we have made some progress...but we're still working on it!!! (He's lucky I love him so much!!!!)

Don't even get me started about dirty clothes going INTO the hamper....

Sheryl
lmhodge
17 years ago
MY DH does help me out around the house and he will even do his own laundry when I can't get to it right away....BUT A couple of things that drive me crazy is that he will empty out his pockets any where in the house and he takes his shoes off just about any where and leave the shoes where ever then he leaves his dirty dishes all over the house.....the other thing is leaving his clothes on the floor and even sometimes right next to the hamper!! Ok That is more than a couple of things! LOL
brass_tacks
17 years ago
My biggest surprise was how I felt about talking about money. Previously, I had not been answerable to anyone about my income. Feeling that I had to justify spending or not spending just felt awkward.
postum
17 years ago
What was lovely was living with someone I felt totally at ease with, whom I trusted and was completely comfortable with. After my rather nasty childhood, years of roommates and slacker boyfriends, it was great to feel I finally had a home. HOME!! What a great concept.

What was the biggest surprise?

Comments (17)

des_arc_ya_ya

waddles28

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