My girlfriend wants me to stop talking to my baby's mom
renaruto
12 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (18)
tracystoke
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agocolleenoz
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Help! I want to spank my 90 year old mom!
Comments (21)Believe it or not, I thought I was going to have to take my mom to emergency AGAIN! The last two weeks have been pretty hectic for me. Our first grandchild was born and she had serious breathing difficulties. She improved quickly, but, in the meantime, I didn't go visit my mother as often as usual. And last week we took a two day trip to see the baby. When I finally saw my mother yesterday, I discovered that she had not had a bowel movement for ten days. TEN DAYS!! She never said anything to me before we left and she wouldn't have said anything if I hadn't noticed her "poop" calendar. All I could think of was, "Oh, great! Another trip to the emergency room!" I wanted to avoid that at almost any cost; it would be too embarrassing. So I took her to the drugstore to buy an enema bag. At her assisted living apartment, I put it together (I ended up with two blisters from connecting the ribbed plastic tubing to all the parts.) I told her to add Milk of Magnesia to her daily routine and take the Dulcolax every night instead of twice a week. Then I left and crossed my fingers. I just called her and the enema worked. Thank goodness! I dreaded taking her to the doctor again over her constipation. Even though I've got signs up in her apartment and lecture her every time I see her, I now know that she absolutely cannot be trusted to drink anywhere near the amount of water she should be consuming. So I will now have to buy her four gallons of bottled water each week. I'm going to mark them so she'll know she has to consume at least half of the gallon each day. I'm also going to give her one of our giant, oversized tumblers and tell her she need to drink three glassfuls each day. She's already taking four Metamucil tablets and three stool softeners each day. And every Monday & Thursday she takes Dulcolax. She really shouldn't be having a problem, but I know that the missing key is the water intake. As you can tell, this situation frustrates me. She has other problems -- wet macular degeneration & severe osteoarthritis in her knees. The doctors haven't been able to help either of those problems, But at least she can do something to ease her constipation! Thanks for listening, Sue...See MoreMy mom is -very- angry with me
Comments (24)A couple of more thoughts. Even though, without your mother's permission, her dr. cannot discuss her health with YOU, he CAN listen to you--your description of symptoms, your concerns. So don't hesitate to call him and let him know what you're seeing, so he has a head's up. Also, my husband is a utility company bill collector. I don't know what your mom's financial situation is, but there is a lot of help out there for seniors and others who need it paying their bills. Sometimes, you can even have a considerable amount in the bank, you just have to have a low income to qualify. My husband always has the contact info with him, sometimes he even has the applications for help. It wouldn't hurt to call your local utility company to see if you can get her some financial assistance. I know that's not the question you asked at all, but if at least part of the bill is being paid by a 3rd party, it would help keep her from getting so far behind she's in danger of being turned off. What happens when something gets turned off? Does your mom handle it? or--like mine used to do--does she call you and say (more or less) you handle it? If she's turning stuff like that over to you or your sister, when it reaches critical point, perhaps then, you could get her to okay the company putting you down as an alternate contact? More and more companies are understanding that our seniors are striving to be independent, but not always successful at it, and are willing to send duplicate bills to someone who is looking out for them. Best of luck to you. You will get this sorted out, and will get past it, but it feels really oppressive when you're caught in the midst of it, doesn't it?...See MoreLosing my mom has made me rethink hanging onto papers
Comments (9)I started a post, and then hit a key and lost it all. Phooey. First, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It sounds like your brother and you are at peace with your decision and your loss, which is a great gift, but it sure must be sad sometimes. I'm sorry. My mom and dad came to the same conclusion on the deaths of their last surviving parent. My mom's mom had graduallymoved to ever-smaller, ever-more restrictive quarters, so it was gradual. And my dad's dad tried, honestly he did. And, he moved a few states away to live w/ my aunt, so he and my dad were able to weed out quite a lot. They had the same reaction, and started to just get rid of stuff in their homes. Of course, that's been awhile now..... I think that's a great gift to give your own kids, Marie. I read a post (was it here?) in which a woman said, she'd told her adult DDs that when she passed away, they were free to throw away, give away, whatever, her "treasures" (she had a little box of keepsakes, odd stuff but sentimental to her), and her possessions, because they were intended for HER lifetime, and not beyond. That sounds like a good idea, too--to free your kids et al. of the notion that just because you owned it, they honor you by keeping it. When my DGM died, my aunt sent me some "sentimental" stuff--my mom was hooting. They were just the things she happened to own at that time--they weren't important. Bathroom accessories in a rose theme--well, DGM liked roses, but those were just what they had at JCPenney the last time DGM needed to buy those things. They weren't important! I have a cousin that was thinking of taking the fabric from DGM's stash (she was a big sewer) and making everyone in the family a teddy bear (shiver...). My mom pointed out, gently, that those fabrics didn't MEAN anything emotional to DGM; they were just what she happened to have at the time. Some of them, she may not even have picked out! She sewed for other people, lots of times. Some stuff of hers WAS important to me--I got the cookie jar, which to this day I treasure and which helps me think of her often. That's enough. You may help enough just by keeping your TRULY valuable papers in a really good place, the photos in another good place, and telling your kids they should throw the rest out without even looking at it. It's useful to you, not to them! Steve, I like what you said about "theater of the mind." But sometimes we keep stuff we don't really need to "replay." You can buy NEW magazines (please, buy new magazines, so I can have a job), new books, etc. There's not really a need to keep stuff. But, on to practical matters. That stuff you'd like to pass on? Get one of those accordion folders w/ the dividers (alphabet, or 12 months), and label each for one kid. Then you've got a place to put that stuff. Maybe label one "Understanding Grandma better" and put notes to yourself (I think those might be really nice for your descendents to see), etc. Things that would truly tell someone, years from now, what you were like. And then be ruthless. If you haven't looked at that vacation stuff, it won't matter as much. Maybe you'll find 2 or 3 things from each that are worth hanging onto--something that helps you get STARTED remembering the trip. That should be enough. As for scrapbooking, well, I guess I'm unAmerican because I really don't approve. Sticking stuff in scrapbooks to look at later, yes. Getting creative w/ precut stuff and fancy letters, no. So get a big binder, buy some of those plastic page protectors (some divided for smaller stuff, some full size), and stick stuff in there. Just get it out of a box and into a book you can page through. The heck w/ labeling anything, making fancy borders, etc. Just stick the brochures into the pockets. And maybe set an arbitrary limit--no more than 5 mementos from every vacation. Because honestly, your brain is very flexible, it'll remember. And nobody else wants to look at your vacation mementos, really. And be tough; try to picture your kids 10 years from now--will they care enough to want to look at it? Will YOU? Stuff that's less personal--politics (which changes constantly), decorating idea, etc.--toss and get fresh. As if you were checking out library books from life....See MoreMy girlfriend's Kids
Comments (44)TOS, He is starting to hate her kids (which are not KIDS THEY ARE ADULTS!) becaue of the mental and physical abuse they do towards their own mother. Its unfortunate but she has raised 2 loser human beings. THese are not children. She is the one that should take a stand for herself and throw them out! But she wont cause has raised them and probably believes she deserves their hate. Salgado, 1. Tell your GF to seek professional counciling for herself because of the abuse. BUt she probably wont take it because she doesn't beleive her kids are doing anything wrong. 2. you cannot change this because the problem can only be fixed by yoru GF and she chooses not to. If she did she would have thrown these two out the door! I have a neighbour of mine who through out her own 14 years old daughter because of the same thing you are describing. Was she in pain doing this to her daughter , yes....was it the right thing to do...yes! 3. If you girlfriend does not stand up for herself and tellher kids to shape up or get out then you should leave. dont feel guilty. You love her but if she doesnt love herself and respect herself from the abuse of anyone..even her own kids then she cannot be saved. You cannot help her. And you cannot continue living this way. Its a shame that a human being can be beaten down in such a manner like this over the years. I do not know your GF past. But im sure it has alot to do with the upbringing of her two kids. She spoon feeds them and whatever they do they are angels. Leave for your sake. And also try to get her some help. You never know things can change....See Morenancylouise5me
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agosuzieque
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agoasolo
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agopopi_gw
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agosuzieque
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agojeika03
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agomyfampg
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agorenaruto
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agoasolo
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agorenaruto
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agosuzieque
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agoasolo
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agojanewhite_comcast_net
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agoxjayblaze07x
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agoazzalea
12 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
Related Stories
LIFEStop the Toy Takeover by Changing the Way You Think
Make over your approach and get gift givers onboard with your decluttering efforts by providing meaningful toy alternatives
Full StoryLIFEIf You Could Talk to Your House, What Would You Say?
‘Pull yourself together’ or ‘thank you for transforming my life’? Notes to homes around the country hit us where we live
Full StoryFEEL-GOOD HOMEStop That Draft: 8 Ways to Keep Winter Chills Out
Stay warm without turning up the thermostat by choosing the right curtains, windows and more
Full StoryKITCHEN DESIGN16 Scrumptious Eat-In Kitchens and What They Want You to Serve
Whether apple-pie cheerful or champagne sophisticated, these eat-in kitchens offer ideas to salivate over
Full StoryCOMMUNITYWant a Cleaner, Safer Neighborhood? Show You Care
Our behavior strongly influences others, says a new study. Show neighbors you care about your street and watch them follow suit
Full StoryLIFEGet the Family to Pitch In: A Mom’s Advice on Chores
Foster teamwork and a sense of ownership about housekeeping to lighten your load and even boost togetherness
Full StoryORGANIZINGWant to Streamline Your Life? Get a System
Reduce stress and free up more time for the things that really matter by establishing specific procedures for everyday tasks
Full StoryINSIDE HOUZZDecorating Trends: A New Houzz Survey Shows What Homeowners Want
Is the TV gaining or losing ground? Are women or men trendier? Find out and learn more about people’s decorating plans right here
Full StoryDECORATING GUIDES10 Look-at-Me Ways to Show Off Your Collectibles
Give your prized objects center stage with a dramatic whole-wall display or a creative shelf arrangement
Full StoryCOFFEE WITH AN ARCHITECTMike Brady Lied to Me
Why "The Brady Bunch" is a terrible guide for the architectural profession
Full StorySponsored
jeika03_aol_com