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Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

Posted by popi (My Page) on
Wed, Apr 18, 07 at 20:37

I let my DD have the choice of a tv show last night, she chose, Sex and the City.....it was tough, for me to sit there with her, watching that ! She is 19.

I was horrified at the content, and the way those women conducted themselves...am I am prude, am I just old, what do others think of this standard of tv ?

How can I survive watching it with her again, or should I just switch channels and watch antiques roadshow!

Should I show an interest in the shows she watches ?

P


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

I love the show,and it is afterall on HBO~ not regular tv...so I dont see anything wrong with it. It's not like it is being aired where young kids can see it.
Sure,much of the ladies actions are over the top...but it is reality these days! And it is meant to shock and entertain.It is actually a quite funny show,and many of the things depicted in it are quite common and happen to alot of people.

You dont have to show an intrest in the shows she likes...if you dont like it,dont watch it.I just hope you let her watch what she wants and dont make her feel bad about it cuz you dont like it.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

Actually, coolmama, it's on TBS now. They cut out a lot of the really naughty stuff, and revoiced over a lot of the lines. So popi...if you were watching the TBS version, the HBO version is even worse ;)

The show is about single women in their 30's. I know a lot of women like that (maybe not exactly like that -- I don't know any single women living in New York who could afford an apartment like Carrie's, on what her probable salary is, but I digress). But the reality is -- single women in the big cities have sex, swear, and generally do some of the stuff in the show. Is the show an extreme version of real life? Sure. Most TV is. That's why it's entertaining.

I'd say you don't have to be interested in the same things she is, at all. She's 19, and an adult. She can watch what she wants, you can watch what you want. When I was 19, I sure as heck was not interested in the same TV that my mom was.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

oh yeah,I forgot it's on TBS now.Yes they cut out all the nudity and stuff.
I think it's about time they depict women in a sexual way though. I'm tired of only seeing the men's aspect of sex in movies and stuff.
Popi,you'd have to watch the show from the begining to really understand what's going on.Really it is about four women who are all looking for their Mr. right,and it shows the trials and tribulations they go through while getting there. In the end it is actually romantic.
I myself have exprienced some things they depict on the show~like an episode about a guy who is a really bad kisser.

The show is a good sign that women are no longer being sexually oppressed. How many times have we heard the double standard that when men have lots of sex they are studs? yet women are sluts when they do it? this show fights that kind of old fashioned thinking and that is why it appeals to me.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

I'd use it as an opening to talk with your daughter about what your standards are for sexual behavior -- what's appropriate and what's not for a young adult these days. You'll never get a better opening.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

That would be hard to watch with my daughter too when she is 19. Im guessing some of the other post do not have daughters or children. I remember when i was in my 20's and i felt as though my mom wanted to just see me in rose glasses. Now that i have 2 daughters, i get it. You could use this opportunity to talk about sexual behavior. That was a great suggestion considering your daughter is 19. She may have thought about sex and boys. So this is a great time to talk about it if you havent already. My mom never talked to me. I will strive(it will be hard) to have good communication with all my kids. Good luck!


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

Actually,I do have a daughter. I just think 19 is a little old to try to regulate or disaprove what they want to watch on tv,LOL. However,it may be mildly uncomfortable to watch with your child,but so are hundreds of other shows and movies.I think a 19 year old would already know about sexual behavior.

Everyone is different...but if my mom had talked to me about sexuality when I was 19 I think I'd have just laughed at her.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

I have a 16 year old son, and we used Sex and the City as a discussion jumping off point. Was he embarassed? You bet! But did he listen? Absolutely. And he contributed to an honest two-way discussion with an exchange of views. I feel much better about what he isn't up to!


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

I guess I wont know until I get there. My child is still too young to even consider THAT conversation,LOL.I'm sure by that time it will be a whole nother show that is even worse.Seems like the shows get more controversial each year.
Popi,you ever watch Rescue Me? That is like the male version of sex and the city. Shocking firefighters who indulge in alcoholism and causual sex.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

FWIW....watched one episode each of SiC, Sopranos, and RM to see what all the press was about. My opinion: absolute sewage. Every character an idiot or a felon. Made me ashamed to be anywhere near their demographic.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

Asolo,what is FWIW? Sorry,I dont know all the abbreviations yet,LOL.

Maybe it's a generation thing. My mom also cant stand Sex and The City (but she loves Nip/Tuck~go figure).Yet,all my friends love it.My husband likes it as well.
I would have to agree about the characters on Rescue Me being messed up,but unfortunately I have become addicted to it for the drama.I have never seen Sopranos though.Not sure I'd really be intrested in Mob life.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

For What It's Worth


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

I totally agree with Asolo...SATC is aweful.

I live in Australia, and I am shocked if NY women act like that, sorry !

However I do take the point that its a good sounding board for discussion, with her, and if thats what she wants to watch, then nothin' I can do about that! But I don't want it on, when younger brother is present !

(this is posted in the wrong forum, I meant it to go in the parenting forum, sorry.)

P


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

"But I don't want it on, when younger brother is present !"

Oh,definitely a good idea! Not a show for little ones by all means.
"(this is posted in the wrong forum, I meant it to go in the parenting forum, sorry.)"

haha,I kinda wondered about that.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

"I live in Australia, and I am shocked if NY women act like that, sorry !"

This is a story about four women who happen to live in New York.

I am positive that you can find four women with similar behavior in Sidney, or any other town 'round the world. I really don't think it is something unique to NY!


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

popi - just responding to your original post but not reading the follow up suggestions - short on time.

I am a huge fan of Sex & The City. I have the boxed set of all 6 seasons. However, it is very graphic in language and sex. So if you are uncomfortable, don't watch it with her.

My daughter (16) will occasionally come into the room if I am watching DVD, or on Demand and I know every episode, so if its one I am not comfortable viewing with her, I switch the DVD off. I will tell you that she has viewed some of the less racier episodes. Of course my daughter is curious, she wants to know what I am laughing at. Just growing up. However, I don't know if I would be comfortable watching every single episode with her even if she was 19. Somethings you just can't watch with your kids - it's too weird for both of you.

You watch Antiques, she watches S&TC, not a bad compromise.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

Whoa,Labmomma and I have something we agree on! I too have them all on box set dvd.
Asolo,you really cant judge a show by watching just one episode of it. Exspecially Sex and The City.If you watched from the begining you would see there is much more to it then just smut.

Just out of curiousity,what sort of shows do you and POPI think are good ones?


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

It is so hard to think of our "little ones" as being grown up and watching "grown-up shows" isn't it. I still think they should be watching good old "Full-House". But they are grown up and can watch grown up shows. I have to change my attitude towards them. And that's hard.

Vickey-MN


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

I myself do not care for S&TC, but hubby really likes it, I on the other hand LOVE Rescue Me (hubby thinks that it is a bunch of smut though, how funny is that?) Coolmama, is it still on somewhere? I have not seen it on FX for a year or more anyway.
I don't think I could watch either with my mother, I would be too embarrassed! I think it is kind of nice that she would feel comfortable watching that with you, but don't feel you have to watch it with her, everyone has their own tastes, just not something you like to watch.
I have a 11 year old son and I get uncomfortable when things come up on a movie or show that you were totally not expecting to see, I have gotten to be a expert channel changer, kind of like the gunslingers quick drawing their guns in a shoot out. He has asked before "why did you change the channel? Thought you was watching that?"
Kind of makes me angry at what they let go on the t.v now days, even commercials for that matter!


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

Micke,RESCUE ME is a summer only show. It is due to come back on in JUNE.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

I enjoy watching SATC but I have enough life experiences to know it's a total fantasy - I also am concerned about the effect it has on really young girls who may take it seriously. (Go take a look at the HBO SATC community discussion board if you doubt that they take it as reality.) However, it's a really good educational device, so I suggest watching it with your daughter and asking her what she thinks of it, without lecturing or criticizng. You may be pleasantly surprised to see that she has more common sense than you think. It's time we all brought some critical thinking skills to what we take in as entertainment.

P.S. What also concerns me is that this stuff is exported to TV's all over the world -is that the way we want them to see American women?


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

Unfortunately young girls do tend to model their behaviour on the TV they watch.

In my experience.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

If anyone doubts it, walk around the mall for a couple of hours. Every teenage or about-to-be teenage girl you see will be dressed like whatever they saw on TV last week.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

I see more young girls imitating The simple life with Paris Hilton then sex and the city. The younger women here arent into it as much as us 30 somethings are.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

I think TV has really gone too far. Most importantly i think parents either dont care or just figure "thats life." Little girls are believing you have to be thin to be loved. My daughters friend who is 8 told me the other day that she only eats skinny foods. Why would she need to worry about that at her age. She is not over weight. Personally, i have been on a diet since i have had children. I have never mention diet, weight, or even complained about myself infront of my kids. When we do talk about foods, we talk about whats healthy and whats not. I have never said something that could make them think of fat. We need to be more aware of what our kids are watching. We also need to be more aware of what we are saying. They have enough pressures in life to have to worry about the way they look.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

Tagging on to what ninos said...I'm glad I'm not growing up in these times. Children are so sexualized, we throw sex and violence at them constanty in the form of entertainment. I didn't realize how much until I had a daughter- the clothes make them look like little mini hookers and they get pressure to be "sexy" when they don't even know what that means. People are making big money on corrupting our kids and we are unthinkingly assisting them. I'm all for healthy sexual attitudes, but this is NOT healthy and it leads to a distorted view of sex, its place in life and the roles of men and women.

Now if you took the time to apply a reality check to SATC -these are women who are well along in adulthood, they can't or won't establish meaningful relationships with men for more than a night or a few weeks, they would surely have some STD's, maybe even HIV, they would certainly have some more relationships than with each other (families? other friends? siblings? co workers? mentors?) and finally, I don't see these 4 very different female personality types even relating to each other - in real life.

That said, I don't think it hurts adults to watch the show, we know it's not real. Maybe we fantasize about what it would be like to live like that - the sex is entertaining because we have enough experience to know it's funny. Charlotte gets crabs and takes revenge on the casual partner who gave them to her, hilarious! But girls and kids - that's a different story. They're getting a distorted viewpoint.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

All valid points...but I just want to add that Sex And The City started out as an HBO show,it came on late at night,and has never been meant for ANY child or teen to be viewing.

The only kids who get corrupted by Sex And The City are by adults who are letting their kids watch it at too young an age.
POPI's daughter is nineteen though,and probably has a pretty good head on her shoulders,enough to know it is only entertainment,and that isnt how you act in real life.

I had mentioned that kids/teens act more like the simple life.Which if you ask me,may not show sex,but is WORSE than sex and the city. Showing Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie getting away with all the things they do and how spoiled they are has big time corrupted the kids here.
Now they all have their tiny little dogs and jeweled cell phones and their clothes that say "Princess". They wear short skirts and UGZ BOOTS and get hair extensions.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

Maybe I'm just an old fogey but I frequently wonder where in the world the parents are in these considerations. How can a responsible parent allow a 12-year-old girl to go out dressed the way so many of them do? Astonishing to me.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

I dont know.I can assure you my daughter will never leave the house looking like these girls around here do.Their skirts are SO short if they bend any way by mistake you see everything. And they are SO YOUNG. They certainly dont need THAT kind of attention.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

I am very glad I myself had 2 boys, wanted a girl so badly! But now I watch some of my friends fight constantly with their daughters on clothing (and one girl is 7, and telling her mom what she will or won't wear) also heard her tell her mom to "stay out of her buisness" now how many of us even as teens would of done that or got by with it if we did?
I do have to get on to my 11 year old for this new fad (to me anyway) of ripping the bottom cuffs of his jeans til they are ragged, but at least the waist stays where it belongs:)


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

Well, I have been through the clothes arguments, with my daughter, and its brutal !

Asolo, perhaps you have never been challenged by a teenage daughter, its scarey! Please have pity on the parents of children (and they are, even though they think they are very mature) who wear these very inappropriate clothes to the shops, I am sure their parents are suffering.

Peer pressure is a strong thing.

Popi


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

The first time I accidentally came across SATC I was shocked, and embarrassed to be watching it with me in the room! Didn't finish the episode. One of the racier ones I guess. It was on free-to-air tv in Australia so I don't know how much it may have been edited. I've occasionally seen other episodes and thought the show might have been interesting. I made a point of watching the final episode. I can understand people following the show all the way through but it was on at a time in my life when I needed to be an expert channel changer so I just didn't tend to watch anything with that sort of potential. What has bothered me more is some of the stuff on SBS and ABC which has suddenly shown up in inappropriate timeslots. At least I had some idea SATC had a bit of a reputation, and it was in a better timeslot. (I've been told ABC and SBS don't have to abide by the same standards as the commercial stations.)

I like Sweeby's comments. Popi, maybe your daughter was hoping for a conversation afterwards.

I'm frequently shocked by the way increasingly young girls dress. But I don't have a teenage daughter so I really don't know what it's like for the parents to find the right path to tread on such issues. I suspect tv doesn't help, especially if the parents don't give some guidance as to what is appropriate viewing. I especially don't like it when parents put tv's in each child's bedroom.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

Just as I was congratulating myself on the inappropriate clolthes issue being over, she came home with a tattoo!


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

Oh,scarlett! Hopefully it is not in a noticable place???


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

It's right in the center of her upper back, and as big as a fist. All I could think of was some day I'll be seeing her at the altar as a bride and I will be looking at that ugly thing.

And please, nobody tell me it's "Body art" - art is beautification and it's just a horrible defacement of a pretty young girl.


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RE: Stressed after watching a TV show with DD

I echo Sweeby. You're the mom - part of your job is to teach your kids what your family values and why. This could be a great opportunity to do that, and if she's 19, you may not have many more of these opportunities. And it could open the door to a meaningful mother-daughter conversation!


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