You said you seek advice, but I do not see a question in all that!

would it be stupid of me to give her another chance if I see any change and/or effort from her to re build this relationship?

Um, IMO, yes, it would be stupid. She's already had quite a few chances and it still seems that whenever you go away, she can't help herself and hooks up with someone else. And then she lies to you about it. Then you suggest trying again, and she says she's really sorry and wants to stop, you give it another go and the whole cycle starts over again.
I would have hoped you'd thought you saw some change/effort on the previous occasions, and look how that turned out.

Seems like there is a pattern developing here, with your wife's behavior.

Do you think you can trust her ?

If you keep doing the same thing (staying in the relationship) and you keep getting the same outcome (she is not trustworthy) - it is like hitting your toe with a hammer and expecting a different outcome. Only a fool would do that !

It is tough facing up to things, but in the long run you will have valuable life experience which will make you a better person.

Think wisely my friend..

The only reason I would even for a minute consider staying in this relationship is if there were kids in the picture. You should consider yourself BLESSED that this is happening now, not after you have kids.

Trust me, I've been where you are, my ex-wife cheated on me two times, 3 yrs apart (we have two kids) The first time around, I tried to see it from her perspective, give her the benefit of the doubt, convince myself that I was partially responsible for driving her to do it, etc. We "worked on things" (I put it in quotes because I tried, she never really did, just went thru the motions) for a couple years, but I could tell her heart was never really into it. Then she did it again. We are now happily divorced, but I feel bad for my kids, I never wanted to raise them in a 50/50 custody situation...but it is what it is.

I would have NEVER even considered giving the relationship a chance the first time around if I didn't have kids with this woman. It was all the same stuff..lie lie lie, I had to drag every thing out of her...she never opened up, and I caught her in so many lies it was unreal.

Get out now. Sorry to say this, but "she's just not into you" apparently. Count your blessings that you are not bound to her (like I am) by children, you can just walk away and not turn around and move forward in your life. Don't become obsessed with getting revenge with her or anything like that. The best revenge is by going out and living life to it's fullest for yourself! And screw what your families think....you are a grown up, you don't need to worry about what they think.

Good luck. It sucks, I know, but I would have given anything to have this happen to me before I had kids, it's 1000 times worse when there are kids in the picture.

I think she must enjoy your company and surely love you in some way, but perhaps she requires more than one person to meet her own needs. Maybe you should give it some thought, do you want to share this person with other people from time to time perhaps with some sort of rules and restrictions in place? Or would you rather dissolve this marriage and find someone that is happy with only you?

There are marriages that have recovered from infidelity, but it requires 100% commitment from BOTH parties and intensive marriage counseling to get at the root of the problem. This is not a fix-it-yourself kind of problem.

Truthfully, I don't get the sense your marriage falls into the category above. You have fallen into a pattern of serial infidelity on the part of your spouse, beginning even before you were married, followed by reconciliation, followed by more infidelity . . . You get the picture.

I don't see that this is a person you could ever trust to be faithful.

In my opinion, she has many issues. There is just something not quite right. Almost as if she is trying to hurt herself with the infidelities and choices of cheating on you. The work begins with her. She needs to find out why she is doing this - not only to you, her husband, but to herself as well. She knows full well she is ruining any trust in the future you will have in her. As if she doesn't feel she is worthy of a wonderful relationship with just one man.
You can try to remain with her - see if she will get the help. But it sounds as if you have been hurt too much to ever see past this.

Good luck to you and to her both. Do *not* let any family interfere with whatever decision you decide to make. Please. Use your heart, your soul and your head. Not your family's.

Please address seriously the fact that you slapped a woman out of frustration.

First of all, I think she deserved to be slapped. But anyway, I didn't see where you said you loved her and wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. You need to first have that commitment from both of you or nothing else will matter.

Karen, on behalf of everyone else out there, I will strongly disagree with your statement, that she deserved to be slapped. Perhaps this kind of reasoning works in Iraq but not in my country. The law will back me up on that - you hit, you go to jail, no amount of reasoning will work with officer handcuffs. To those who live on a higher standard than the law, hitting another human is unacceptable when there are many more adaptive and mature ways of dealing with total frustration.

If this poster is still reading this thread...let me say whether its a wife cheating or a husband cheating...it devastates the non cheating spouse...mentally sets up trust issues...and that is where the foundation rots...

Those of you in your 2nd or 3rd decade of life....take advice from others....listen to it and ask yourself if you want to wonder whether random men will float in and out of the picture..

Giving breaks to this kind of person is not worth it..cut losses

If this poster is still reading this thread...let me say whether its a wife cheating or a husband cheating...it devastates the non cheating spouse...mentally sets up trust issues...and that is where the foundation rots...

Those of you in your 2nd or 3rd decade of life....take advice from others....listen to it and ask yourself if you want to wonder whether random men will float in and out of the picture..

Giving breaks to this kind of person is not worth it..cut losses