You all raise great points and I'll try to answer some here. No, I haven't seen them in person, which is partly why I asked the question about focal points - I think it's easier when looking at them up close and online to obsess rather than once you see them hanging. Plus I'm not sure about the glare. I think they are beautiful, but I wondered if IRL they would just look like any other type of glass pendant. I actually found them here but I can't remember the user's name. They looked beautiful in her kitchen, though. NYCbluedevil, your beehive pendants are part of my inspiration! I loved them but they are WAAAY out of my budget. I do wonder about the shadows and glare to some extent - both my parents had migraines and I occasionally get super horrible headaches (not sure they're technically a migraine or not). However, I have good recessed lighting and UCL already and would probably use these as more of an accent, less for task. I'm attaching a photo, but am hanging my head in shame at what you're seeing. The bases are IKEA and the drawer/door fronts are arriving from Scherr's today, so half of my stuff is in but not covered and the other half is still out, so it looks horribly cluttered. My counters are also not in yet so I'm using plywood at the moment. You obviously can't get a great idea but maybe an overall snapshot of the shape of the kitchen and how the pendants will be viewed. The peninsula will have a rainbow-shaped counter where we'll put chairs, so seating will be there as well. As for adding personality - I have bright fiestaware, which will be displayed behind glass doors, so I want to bring out those colors but also don't want the kitchen to move to resembling a clown. I had considered colored pendants but nothing speaks to me, so the personality I thought I'd bring in would be in the counter stools (with a funky print on them) and a throw rug. I like deb's pendants and also considered something like those or restoration hardware's benson pendants. Even at $200, that's a $150 savings when you buy 3. However, because of the size of my kitchen, I thought I may need something that was clear rather than colored so the eye doesn't stop. I like that one from ebay, too (and the price!)...the rest of my house is not modern but more transitional, so I think I can get away with something a little funky. Thanks for making it through my l-o-n-g thought process!

I agree with Maria on this one. Your BF was thinking only of his son, and his need to be there for his son. Pure biology at work. As a man, he probably did not ever consciously think of his own need for emotional support, which is where you would come in. As a woman, it's instinctive for you to know that in times of trouble, regardless of the trouble, that we need the ones we love gathered around us to provide emotional support. Most men think in terms of solving the problem, and for your BF, solving the problem meant sitting by his son's bedside. You couldn't solve that particular problem, so you didn't factor into the equation. It's good that your BF gets along with his Ex, and that you do too. It might be a nice gesture to write her a note saying that you've followed her son's progress closely through your BF's reports, and how glad you are to hear he's doing better. That you stayed away to give them the time and space they needed as his parents -- to be considerate of their feelings, not because you didn't care. Maybe send a ham, or a fruit basket? Something someone who's spent every hour sitting at the hospital instead of cooking of grocery shopping could use and appreciate?

I hadn't been following your kitchen posts, so I went back and looked. The biggest problem with your kitchen is not hickory or maple. It does need some color, but the biggest issue is the layout. That kitchen was built to wash dishes, not to cook. About 2/3 of the kitchen is dedicated to a sink and DW while the food storage and cooking are crammed into the remaining third. I would not put more money than a can of paint and a rug or mat or two to break up the floor and give some comfort underfoot unless I was able to fix the underlying problem. The problem is how to do that. I have a prep sink in my island across from the cooktop. My DW and larger sink are across the room. It works well for us, but I have my cooktop in the middle of a 9 foot run, so I have some room to work. And my kitchen is a little more than a foot wider than yours, and my aisles are still at the narrower end. I have 34" cabinet depth for my island, so you would probably be limited to 21" vanity cabinets plus top to put you right at 24". You can get a 15" prep sink into one -- that's what I have. I do think that would be some improvement, but it doesn't fix the fact that so much valuable space is underutilized. You can test the idea with some boxes, a narrow table. If you want to test it in action, even get a commercial kitchen table like this one and then find another use for it (garage, potting bench?) or sell it (link below): I would suggest looking at whether you could rearrange some of the existing cabinets to keep roughly the same footprint but gain some better used space. To make that work, at least one of the fridge or pantry has to move (could be both) and it looks like the fridge would give you the most space. I would look at moving the DW to the other side of the sink, moving the fridge (including the cabinet above and surround) and possibly the narrow cabinet next to it and put them on the end of the run near where the DW was. You would have to figure out how to place the door cabinet where the DW would go and the drawer stack on the end. Both walls have a little give on the ends, so you might get lucky with the measurements. If not, then talk to the cabinet guy about cutting one down or making one to match -- or fill a space by finishing sides with a skin and putting in shelves for baskets, a pullout towel bar for the sink, or if on the stove side, maybe a pullout or tray cabinet. If you want to try both, I would try the pantry on the other side of the dining room doorway. You could also look at flipping that with the fridge against the wall on the DR end and the pantry at the other end, but you want to make sure you don't close up your sink and DW too much. If you lose a corner cabinet over there, then you could look at a small peninsula with a prep sink in that corner. Treat the cabinets like puzzle pieces and see what you come up with -- or post the measurements and let folks help you. You can look at a narrow island or a peninsula, but neither one is going to give you the room you want for seating without being in an aisle. You could give the girls a pint sized table in that area for play and eating -- then move into a bistro set or a couple of reading chairs and a side table. Or try a bench -- possibly a narrower table, a circle or a square that will give you a bit more room coming into the room. Here is a link that might be useful: John Boos Table

Hi concerned Mom (and, probably, Dad), It seems to me that one of our major tasks as a parent is to encourage our young ones to develop their independence and help them move toward it ... in incremental steps. World War II (despite U.S. claims/experience to the contrary) began in 1939, when I was 10, and our farmhands went into the forces. Dad at just under 40 had a fairly large farm, for those days, to run ... and my younger brothers and I got introduced to various and multitudinous chores at an early age. I've long felt that if our young folks grew up with an experience of being granted certain responsibilities and privileges, beginning at an early age, and live with the certainty that, as they discharged those responsibilities reasonably capably, would have more granted, we would avoid many of the rebellious activities that occupy the minds and time of many of our youth, these days. I often sat down and discussed with my kids what kind of result(s) they might expect to happen, were they to follow a certain course, or another, or a different one. That is, to help them develop linear, logical, multi-faceted and critical thinking. When we come to a fork in the road, we choose which course to take, then later, though (usually) we can't go back to re-live it ... we can learn from the results that have come from that choice. My daughter spent a year on Rotary student exchange program with a family where the father was civic engineer in Hamburg when she was, I think, a junior in High School. She went with a school group to spend a week camped (tenting?) above Florence, travelled " ... like a little mouse in the back seat ..." with her family on several extended trips, visited North Africa ... and had a ball. She was a sensible, smart kid ... but it matured her a good deal ... and got her interested in travelling and participating in various new ideas that may have been latent before, but had been undeveloped ... and had she not had that opportunity, who knows whether they ever would have been developed? Unless there are some substantial counter-indications that surface, I'd be inclined to let/encourage your daughter to go: it'll quite likely change her life ... bend the sapling in different ways for the tree to grow ... or at least provide her with some memorable experiences. I recommend having your daughter make a significant contribution to her trip: earned stuff is much more highly valued. If the U.S. is to participate fully in world affairs, in a way that will engender more respect on the part of people in other areas, she needs people who have participated in different parts of that world: our world has become much smaller ... a "global village", right? A much better impact will be made if many of her citizens have travelled abroad and come to know the people there and respect not only the people, but their ways, as well. Good wishes to your fairly responsible, smart daughter (according to your testimony) as she proceeds to develop a multi-faceted, interesting, challenging life. And to you, her parents, as you proceed with your own adventures, further down that road of life. Never kill the kid that resides within you (even at advanced age) ... or strangle the kid that you guide (for a short while). And enjoy your kids while they're with you - for they're soon grown and gone. I regret that I could be only a semi-involved/resident father after my kids were 6 and 9. ole joyful