I think some people were too hasty in calling you a spoiled brat and the like. I base my opinion on a few clues, rather than just the overall scenario. That your husband lashed out the way he did is entirely unreasonable. Why does he want you to stay in a place where you are mistreated by the people who consider themselves entitled to be there? Okay, so it was stressful, you were mistreated, and you were actually trying to raise your family in a place that was not your own home and was not a home to you. So, you went back home and made no complaint of him spending time with his mother, but he lashed out because he couldn't have things his way. I would have returned home long before you did. No way am I going to tolerate being mistreated by anyone, not for a minute. That one is a deal breaker all by itself. But, he became resentful. Am I understanding this right??? He became resentful that you returned home, he took your children, treated you like sh&1, and said awful things to you. Well now. Then reading further, I figure I am right on the money after you tell us he wants to uproot his family to go babysit his 50-something year old sister. Well now. Your husband is the selfish spoiled child, my dear. Not you! It is wonderful he cares so much for his mother, and it's truly nice he is considerate of his sister, but this is going way too far. If that is not bad enough, he wants to add inconvenience to your daily life. AND, if those are not bad, he wants to add continual mental torture by expecting you to permanently make your home *WITH* people who treat you badly. Boy, I wonder how he will treat you and what names he will call you when you resist that one. Will he bring down the whole house to force you to move and make sure he gets his way? But you were called the spoiled brat. Well now. Perhaps he was a good husband before all this began, but he isn't anymore. Maybe there simply weren't any trying times to test his character until now. He places his own wishes and everyone's needs before yours - even if, as in his sister's case, there is no need at all. Where is the "good husband" in that? I can surely understand him wanting to spend a lot of time with his mother before she passes away, but how does it even occur to him to uproot his family after that happens? Against your wishes, he wants to do this. Despite you being treated unkindly there, he wants to do this. How does it NOT occur to him to ask his sister to be the one to move if he is so concerned about her? I do wonder why you feel you need so much help before the birth of your baby. You are not the first woman to have a c-section. What is the help you need before the birth? I never heard of that. Nevertheless, I expect you are suffering from raging hormones. The hormones and the nervous anticipation of your baby's impending birth have you wondering if you can count on him since he spends so much time at his mother's house. I can understand that, even if you are asking too much at this point. I also expect him to understand and to be there for you. Please do not let anyone talk you out of being hurt by his treatment and his words. If you forgive him, that is up to you and wonderful if you want it to be. But, you are not wrong by any stretch. He is.

My sympathies -- you really do seem to be stretched awfully thin!! And not because all the news is good, either. I realize I'm not a "regular" in this forum (it's too easy for me to read instead of clean, so I clean), but I can say you've been offered some excellent advice here. First good for you for sticking up for yourself and your family in negotiating with your in-laws! I would suggest that you really need to examine your priorities for the next couple of months. You, your husband, and your family certainly take first, second, and third place. The rest of it -- I think -- is up for grabs. You have only 24 hours in a day, and much of it is already spoken for. Ration the rest carefully. The shopping trips for the 82-year-old lady can wait. I realize shopping may well be the highlight of her weeks, but you are in emergency mode right now. She should be able to understand that; I hope there is someone else who can take her either this week or next week, realizing they do not have to make a lifetime commitment of it. Despite your commitment to do the estate sale, it's relatively easy to hand that off. While it will cost some off the top for their services, you have other things you need do to. Not to sound mean, but other people know how to price items. Maybe you could just spot-check a few just before the sale and challenge them if a price seems horribly out of line? That's far easier than tagging everything and running the sale yourself. There are things you need to do (like talk with social-services types) that you cannot hire anyone else to do. The rest you should be able to let go. Can some of your Ebay business wait? Maybe you just sell and ship what's already up for auction and don't put anything new up for auction until things calm down some. Ditto for the home-based businesses -- maybe honor current commitments and backpedal some on new ones for right now? Since you homeschool, is there any chance lessons could tie in with what's going on now? Maybe the math lesson can be calculating how much paint to buy or how much it will cost to move, given the cost of the truck, per-mile charges, and fuel. Maybe the kids can do some research on available help options for your in-laws? And it may be time to lower your standards temporarily. Maybe more of the laundry gets shoved into the same load. PB&J for dinner won't kill anyone -- and it's even better if your kids can prepare it for you. I don't know what DH does for a living, but is it possible he could call and coordinate the Planning & Zoning folks or your church? He may not do the job as thoroughly as you feel you could, but it gets done and it gets off your plate. Doesn't hurt to involve him in the care of his parents, either. Finally, remember that actions have consequences and that people choose their own actions and their own consequences. Your in-laws are the ones who made questionable financial decisions. It is admirable of you to want to help out as best you can, but you are not responsible for digging them completely out of the hole in which they placed themselves. Hang in there! You'll get through this -- and be a stronger person for it!

With my MIL it was "all about her", but you need to let that just wash right off your back. That's sounds like my MIL. She'll cut you off if the subject of conversation doesn't interest her. But.. if you talk about her, you have her undivided attention! When my daughter was little, my MIL would ask her how she was doing. Before my daughter could say one word, my MIL would turn away and start talking to someone else. My daughter would stand there with a puzzled hurt look on her face. All days, any hour, she thought she was entitled to just turn up My MIL used to drop in (only visits when she wants something) at 11 pm, sometimes 11:30pm. DH finally told her not to bother dropping in at that time again because DD has to get up early for school and it's not a time to visit people. He even told her about calling so late. Now she'll call at 10:30pm LOL. My DH often says that if he was married to his mother, she'd drive him to drink like she did with her 2 husbands! He once told her that he thought she was bipolar and all she's really looking for is a slave, not a partner/companion. My DD (16) told me just the other day that she thought her grandmother wasn't too bright about things. That her grandmother could only talk about certain topics because she can't hold a conversation about too many things unless it's about her, her belongings, her house, her garden, her thoughts. It's always all about her! This somewhat concerned me a little cuz I didn't want my DD to think that of her grandmother, but a person would have to be deaf not to notice. When one of her granddaughters, who lives about 5 hours away, came to see her one day. All my MIL could do is complain about her. My DH started telling me about it and was somewhat in agreement with his mother. I told DH that I thought it was cruel of her to complain about that since the granddaughter came all this way just to see her when she had a break from school (GD is 21). MIL complains that she's lonely, and complains when she has someone stay over. You can't win with her. She's never happy/satisfied. When DH's baby sister and her husband moved back home from out West, they stayed at the MIL's house for a couple months. SIL told us that "I love her, but she drives me nuts! I can't understand why she never wants to go visit family." At one point, when SIL and her hubby finally found a place to live in a city an hour away but had to wait a month, they told us that they couldn't wait cuz MIL was always putting SIL's hubby down with rude comments. Since they've moved out, MIL drives down to see them once a week! LOL So in a nutshell, I just listen to what she has to say. Sometimes I even ask her a question about something to show interest in her and she gets all excited and acts like I'm her new best friend! LOL It makes her happy (she's 72) and it makes my DH happy. My MIL, however, has never told us how we should raise our daughter and I respect her for that. The one thing that I feel for my DH is the fact that his mother was there more for her "friends/employees" than she was for her own kids (8 of them) and her grandchildren. Now that she's retired, she's a very lonely woman. Her children are scattered everywhere throughout Ontario and she doesn't really know all of her grandchildren (except for the first 4). MIL often comments on how she doesn't really know our daughter, making it sound like it's our fault. DH tells her that it's because SHE's the one who never took the time to get to know her. This hurts DH and our DD because she sees for herself how her grandmother was with her other grandchildren. MIL once commented to me that my DD was very close to my mother. I said it was because my mother gives her undivided attention when she sees her and shows a genuine interest in her. My MIL then said something like.. well it's different when you have grandchildren when you're young cuz you can do more stuff with them. When you get a little older, you don't do as much. I told her that my mother was older than she was and still did a lot of things with her grandchildren. My MIL didn't say too much after that. She was just trying to justify her not taking time with our DD. Geez... for the first 8 months of our DD's life, my MIL lived a 2-minute drive away and never came to see her once! My parents live 15-20 minutes away and came once a week, every week!

I loved my FIL very much. When he passed away, I think I probably took it the hardest. He was so much fun, he was good to me and loved teaching me new things. My MIL? Well, uh, let's just say that if she didn't live with us, I might just like her...a little bit. Maybe. When DH and I got together, she informed me that her son didn't deserve me, my experience or my boys. That hit me to the bone. I have never and never will forgive her for that. Now, she lives with us. She doesn't have to pay a single dime for anything, other than her medication, which she gets most of at a discount. We pay the car payment, the insurance, we put the roof over her head, we feed her, we pay for the laundry items, the power, water, etc. Everything, we pay for. How does she re-pay us? She sits at her computer all day long, playing games. She never showers. She never wears her dentures. She is nasty. Hints don't work. Out and out telling her doesn't work. So I have given up. She wonders why I won't let her cook anything that I plan on eating. I won't eat a single thing that she may have touched. She sleeps with her dog and her now cat (he was mine, but she has taken him over) and always has hair all over her. She smokes and smells like the bottom of an ashtray, because she doesn't shower. The smell is in her clothes...her bed...her carpet. I won't let her leave her bedroom door open because then my house would stink. She puts her dog's food right on the carpet, so there is an oily stain in the carpet. I can go on and on...but I think you have the idea.