What to do with a husband you can't trust?
crickett40
15 years ago
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tracystoke
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoamyfiddler
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
What Do You Do When You Can't Sleep...
Comments (22)Reading all your messages has been like hearing the latest updates on my three sisters. That's a compliment and sincere thank you. Crohn's disease, Graves disease, fibromyalgia and arthritis (Rheumatoid/Osteo)have reared their ugly heads among my 3 sisters but left me inexplicably unscathed. The family is an autoimmune minefield...LOL. After the ONE night I went home to get some sleep I came back to my father's house to find 2 cars and no father. When your 82 year old father is MIA without explanation you naturally worry. Turns out he had a second serious bout of Atrial Fibrillation and went to the hospital without telling me. Ask me if I wasn't feeling guilty for leaving him and upset with him for not calling me. He didn't want to interfere with me taking my best friend to a colonoscopy appointment Monday AM. I didn't sleep again Monday or Tuesday nights but got a couple hours sleep earlier tonight when I landed back at my father's with Pop in tow from hospital/cardiology office. No Coumadin yet until results of 3 week montoring device show if he's having small episodes of A-Fib when he gets chest tightness on treadmill at gym. Coumadin and exercised induced symptoms are the worst for him. He's extrememly active physically (so he doesn't fall asleep!) although we're having memory issues. Well, I've whined again but it feels better to get it out. I went outside yesterday at first light to rake and do a little garden clean up. It was glorious and relaxing. If all stays well for next week or so I'll have cooked my 5th Thanksgiving dinner and actually gotten somewhat used to it. Part of family will be here and Dad can have his turkey dinner without dietary restrictions of blood thinner. He's all about his food but luckily for me not picky...LOL. All in all, I'm a pretty lucky chickadee tonight. :) Good wishes for all of your health challenges as well. I think I'm going to get some Lavender heat wraps to relax me when I'm exhausted but can't sleep....See Morewhat do you do when the one you love can't garden anymore?
Comments (21)Tony, can I ever relate. The only difference is that I had never made a thing grow in my life before. The plants I received during the many hospital stays, I managed to kill within the year. I had three failed back surgeries which left me with no use of my left leg and foot, a back that I can no longer bend, turn or twist and lately severe Arthritis has attacked my entire body (especially my hands) and horrific pain 24/7. I was in deep depression for a very long time and perhaps if my children would have helped and worried about me as you do about your Mom, I would have pulled myself out of my world of self-pity a long time ago. Alas, I was not that lucky, however, one can only live like that for so long, before thoughts of ending it all take over, and I thank G-d for giving me the strength to find the will to search every avenue to help myself. Also, I have a family physician who is modern and not adverse to giving me enough medication (even narcotics) to take the edge off of the pain. When my youngest moved across the ocean, I bought a samll computer to keep in touch with her. I taught myself how to send e-mails and then I started wandering around the Internet. It was then that I came across GardenWeb and after reading the different posts for days, I got the courage to post and ask questions. You would not believe the many replies I received with all kind of advice on how to start a garden (some giving me sites where to find more info) Last winter I kept myself very busy planning my little garden, searching through catalogues, gardening magazines and the Internet, looking for perennial plants that have "good garden manners", as my garden buddy Newt taught me.I have several container plants and start working on them when it is too cold to plant in the ground. My garden takes up most of my time (even the many long sleepless nights). I agree with the poster that said that outside help can be very frustrating, however, if you have the time to supervise then they will do as your Mom would like to have in done. Who knows, I just might find another hobby to add, that will ensure that I have no spare moments to dwell on all the things I can no longer do (I was not born disabled) Also, I am not adverse to getting a little psycological help now and them when I need it most. I have to digress here for a moment and tell you that the great friends I found here on GardenWeb gave me a new lease on life. I still write to some and they answer when they are able. We exchange jokes as well as gardening information,links where you can find more information for every subject and seeing that we are in the same boat, in one form or another, it gives me the strength to carry on. (We understnad each other) Perhaps that is why I am so grateful to GardenWeb,and to this new Forum. The advice you got in the previous posts are excellent, and if I may, I would like to suggest that if you do build a raised bed, sitting on the wall and twisting around to care for the plants does not always work for everyone. I know it doesn't for me. I don't know if my solution will work for your Mom, however, I had four large (tall) rock garden stones with relatively flat tops placed in strategic places so that I can move around on them (not have to twist my spine). That way I am closer to the ground and can get my hands in the dirt. I guess I will have to leave the composting to purchasing it in a bag (not quite the same as making your own, I understand, however,it's the best I can manage.) Just one last thing, I have purchased some excellent "Enabling tools" through a Catalogue,the name is called Gardenscape, they have a toll free number, which is: 1-888-472-3266, the are situated in Toronto 416-698-5339, they are very reliable, guarantee all purchases and ship promptly. The Catalogue is Free. (I believe they are a GardenWeb sponsor) Good Luck, and G-d Bless Punky....See MoreWhat do you do when you can't bare to be around your Step Son
Comments (9)@ justmetoo----His now 21 year old son assaulted me, not the one that lives with us now. His mother does feed him stories and has for years let them in on the finances and done everything in her power to cause trouble and discontent. To be honest, in my opinion, this all went off the rails with this particular child when WE bought him a car. After my husband and I did this he kept the ca for about 2 months and decided that he didn't want it anymore. I had a truck that we were not using so SS came to me and said he wanted to buy it because, a. he wanted a truck, b. it would teach him what it was like to have financial responsibility. I should have seen through that right there, because I don't know many kids that would say that. I was honestly against it because I saw nothing but trouble, but after all the hounding I got from my husband and SS, I gave in just to shut them up. I stipulated that there would be rules, the vehicle would not be his until he paid it in full, it could not be driven out of the local area further than 50 miles, and since it was in my name and under my insurance he was not to haul all his friends around and he had to let us know where he was going. Keep in mind at the time he was 16, so I don't think I was being to unreasonable. That was fine for about 2 months and suddenly he stopped paying (payments were $50/month), breaking curfew, rude, sassy, etc. He wants to put the vehicle under his mothers insurance, because she doesn't have to know where he goes. Then he decides he doesn't want this vehicle and he wants to sell it and buy something else. Now I have no way of knowing what my husband and his son discussed or concocted, and they are famous for making little deals and leaving me out of the loop. (That's another issue) So, I agreed to allow him to sell it with the stipulation that he only keep what was leftover from what he owed us because I just wanted to be rid of the situation.. Well you would have thought I was asking for his first born, because suddenly he doesn't understand why he has to pay for something that had been given to me in the first place and why did I not just give him the vehicle. So he sells it and when my husband does not turn over the full amount to him, he says, "Mom told me you would not give me what you owed me!" HAHA BINGO! So I told my husband, BM is obviously planting seeds in his head, which you can't reason with this woman she is a nut job, we have tried. He gets a new car with his mother and adds it to his insurance and in even more attitude, he came over one night to fight with my husband about this entire transaction. Do I know if my husband has lied to him? No, I do not, however that is no excuse to talk to your father that way. In my opinion, bottom line SS is mad because he did not get what he wanted from us. This is the same child that asked his Dad to change the custody agreement so that he could stay with us more because he did not like living at his mothers house because everyone fights there all the time, per him. My husband even gave him $400 to register his new car that he got with his BM with the understanding that he would pay it back because he is working. This was 6 months ago and the boy has yet to make any attempt to give us anything, in fact he told his Dad in the past few weeks, "I don't have any F*&^ing money, so why would I give you any? I'm not paying you back." NICE! My husband left his son OVER $300 for lunch, food, etc whilst he has been away, gives him money to eat when the SS is at work, school, to go out with his friends....but the boy has a job, he is already in college. I feel that we have done so much for him and all he does in expect more and disrespect more. He will walk right past me in my home and look right through me and not say a word. I feel that I have done more for him in the 5 years I have been married than his own mother does for him. Its just a mess and it makes me very sad because it was NOT always like this. We used to do things as a family, have dinner together, go on trips and now I can't stand the sight of him....See Morehusband can’t “picture” what something will look like in his mind
Comments (4)You'd think there would be, what with all the technology that's available at our fingertips these days. Someone more knowledgeable about such things than I can perhaps point you in the right direction. I do know there are sites (like esalerugs) where you can "audition" a rug in your space by uploading a photo, and paint companies like Sherwin Williams allow you to "paint" your room by doing the same thing (although it only provides a marginal representation of what the color will really look like in real life). I will say that I think it's great to have a partner who is interested enough in your home to care, so kudos to your hubby. And to you for trying to find a way to truly partner with him in your home decorating endeavor. Good luck!...See Morelindac
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoscarlett2001
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoima57chevyluvr_yahoo_com
13 years agolast modified: 9 years agojoshp01
13 years agolast modified: 9 years agoenchantedwalls_yahoo_com
13 years agolast modified: 9 years agomelissa-helms_hotmail_com
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agosunnyday59
10 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMahriah Delaney
7 years agoAlexander Wiesenthal
7 years ago
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