"She came in crying and I had been watching her walk out the window..." This statement doesn't say Erin saw him hurting/yelling. Just that she had been watching her walk. Although maybe she did see the whole thing and was heading to the door when her dd came in crying? It sounded to me like the whole thing happened very fast. AND it sounds as if the guy scooted in his house pretty fast after the incident. I don't see anything "suddenly wrong with this story" Another factor to consider is when we write what happened to us we figure we are among friends, we are very upset, and sometimes we don't put things in the best order/wording (due to being upset). Not that I think Erin's was worded poorly. I am just saying when you are pouring your heart out to friends you sometimes don't make sense and don't expect them to question you because you don't make sense. Kris

Re-read the messages above. It is not necessary for him to "physically fit" into the area to make the connections. The connnections are made from below. If he can get into the attic, he can almost certainly perform the installation. Please forgive me for saying so, but it sounds to me as if you husband is not (yet) sufficiently knowledgable about electrical work to do this job. I recommend that he read Wiring Simplified (available at bookstores and the electrical department of Home Depot stores). That will help you and him decide whether he should tackle this job, or you should engage a professional instead.

SHE MUST GET OUT. Period. This person could kill her - I am not exaggerating. The sooner and faster the better. Physical abuse is a deal breaker. Having said that, I realize that she won't leave him on her own volition...right now. But here are some suggestions: 1) Do some research for her - find a women's shelter that puts women in protective care and keeps their whereabouts confidential...the kind that basically helps them "disappear," and offers counseling on a daily basis. Have it ready if/when she's ready to consider it. 2) Unless she is convinced that she must leave, she will almost certainly return, even if she were to leave for awhile. Find a counselor in your area who specializes in women's issues and abuse issues, and encourage (STRONGLY and CONTINUALLY encourage) her to visit. 3) Call the cops. Ask them what you can/should do as someone who knows what's going on. They can advise you on what - if anything - you may be able to do if the situation you described happens again. 4) Keep her trust and be her friend so that you can be her confidante. You may be the only person she's telling and she needs to be telling someone. Even if you "push" a bit to get her out of her home, always let her know how much you care about her, and that you're there for her. Get her talking about the abuse (ask her how she feels when it's happening, ask her if she thinks it's okay for a husband to beat his wife, etc.). Also talk to her about how she sees herself - chances are she has a very low view of herself and you can help "re-frame" her views by telling her how valuable you think she is. Sometimes an "a-ha" moment is possible for a person when they begin to hear themselves talk. And keep telling her - with as much urgency as you can - that she should never be treated this way by anyone and that she needs to get out ASAP. 5) Find out if she's talking to anyone else about this. If she has family that are reliable and who know what's going on, consider putting together an "intervention," wherein everyone sits her down for a "come to Jesus" talk about the danger she's in. It's good that you want to be her friend. She's lucky to have you.

Almost 31 years of marriage with his and hers ranting. I learned it from my husband. We never even had a thought about not being married to each other. My hubby just vents that way, but if he doesn't stop within a few minutes, then it is my turn. Then it stops! Some people have a dry sense of humor. Some are trying to make jokes and be funny when they post. That is their sense of humor. It doesn't mean they can't have a rational and meaningful conversation with the other person in their life. Geez, let's lighten up! I doubt the OP is seriously angry with hubby. My mom's going to kill me! I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! I'm so angry I can't talk to my husband! Back to the backsplash tile hunt..... before I pull my hair out! (Another one.)