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catlettuce

Does marriage counseling ever really work?

catlettuce
14 years ago

And does anyone here have any positive outcomes from their experiences with it? DH finally (albeit reluctantly) agrees to go after a arguement earlier this week. It at was my request, not his.

He told me that he couldn't make me happy and if I wnated it to go find it, and that nothing would ever change. The more I think about it the more I think he is correct. Though I certainly don't expect him to make me happy I think you make your own happiness.

Now I find I'm really uncomfortable with it? I'm afraid to be completely honest as I think it will just make DH upset if he is forced to confront & talk about issues he doesn't want to deal with. In other words now I am afraid it's going to big a big hairy ugly episode.

Does it ever really work/help? I'm afraid he'll be cool at the counsleor but then give me the slient treatment & withdraw afterwards or worse become even more angry. We are leaving on Vacation in a little over a week and I'm scared to even "go there" (hot button issues)anymore. Is it even worth it?

Going to our first appt tonight alone because I just became too stressed out over the whole thing. I told DH last night I wanted to wait til we got back (he asked why)and go early next month. I told him the truth, he didn't seem affected on way or another, perhaps relieved? Do spouses often become more angry after counseling, meaning does it typically get before it gets better?

My big fear is he is not going out of wanting to make things better but rather a place of "I'll show you I'm right & your wrong." I'm not sure I want to do marriage counseling anymore -after my being the one to bring it up-Ugh!

~Cat

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