Pn: you assume I am willing to take a very large financial risk ffrom wich I could never recover if it went south :) Your idea has crossed my mind though; maybe, if my banker and I could agree on a piece of land he wouldn't mind owning if I couldn't sell it we'd be able to deal. I already live in the middle of commercial ag but in a very small town, there is an elevator 2 blocks away and a spray service 2 blocks away also. Right now there are combines, grain carts and semi trailers hauling grain parked in town and going to and through it. My neighbor is a custom harvester. The mad dash is on to get all the corn, soybeans and milo harvested as well as the winter wheat planted. Yep, anhydrous is used here on corn, it is knifed in under ground. Being a gas at atmospheric pressure, it wouldn't do any good to try and pour it anywhere, knives work very well if the soil has the right amount of moisture in it. Nacyjane: there isn't really any empty land around here unless you count the creek bottoms, everything is in crop production in this county and every county around it and more. Happyday: good point, I suspect there are no zoning restrictions on subdividing within the county. On a less serious note, I don't think there are any laws in the county at all, 1 sheriff and 3 deputies to cover 24/7/365. what do you think? You can not pay your property taxes for in excess of 5 years and not have to worry about the county auctioning off your property.

shannon - I have been following your thread with great interest as the mom of a 19 soon to be 20 yr. old young woman. I have to say DD has never given DH & me any trouble whatsoever, so all that you are posting about your DD is foreign from a parent's standpoint, but I have experience with dealing with DD's friend choices made over the years. Does your DD have a best girlfriend or a group of girlfriends that she spends time with? You mention a "best bud", but I am surmising from your posts that this best bud is a boy? I have to wonder if your DD has no girlfriends at this point, why is that? Has she ever had female friends with whom she spends a majority of her social time with? Also, if she has had girlfriends, have they separated themselves from your DD, or more importantly, have their parents separated them? I had a situation when my DD was entering high school and meeting new friends from different schools as we have a regional school district which accommodates 3 townships. DD met a girl a year older than she, through her best friend. The girl lived across the street from DD's best friend since they were in elementary school. I absolutely hands down prevented my DD from hanging out with this girl as she was a very developed, boy crazy girl whose parents did nothing to stop this kid from her behavior with the boys. She was never held to a curfew, when she was home she was allowed to have boys in the home, down in the rec room, no adult supervision. It was probably one of my DD's worst summers socially, but there was no way that I wanted my DD associated in any way with this girl. The words of my own DM came out of my mouth without any hesitation "you will be judged by the company you keep". I probably heard that a zillion times growing up, and swore I would never be like my own DM. How your mind changes when it is your own child. I felt at the time that it was my job as my DD's mother, to protect her as best as I could from running in the fast lane. I am so glad I did. My DD now has a casual relationship with the girl as she cannot be avoided living across the street from DD's best friend. Sadly, I feel that the girl's DM played a huge part in not stepping up to the plate. She wanted so badly to be her DD's friend, that she lost sight of the fact that her DD needed a MOTHER, not a friend at that very impressionable age. This past weekend I learned that the girl is now pregnant with a baby from a one night stand. IMHO, her life is essentially over. She will more than likely never return to college, she will be living in her parents' home, raising a baby with her DM's help. The girl's DM still hasn't gotten it. Her daughter will give birth to a child with no father in the picture. The DM is happy to be a grandmother. This girl was a year ahead of my DD. She did enroll in our local community college, but did not do well. The DM constantly made excuses as to why things didn't bode well for her daughter at the college, in other words, it was always someone else's fault when her daughter got into trouble. Well, she failed out of her first semester and aspired to obtain a job at a local daycare where she worked until that didn't work out for whatever reason, of course, none of it being her fault. Also, what is stunning to me is that you have not made any mention of taking your DD to a gyn. There are adolescent gynecologists available. You posted that your DH is a physician? Have you not told him what you know of your DD's previous behavior, current plans with regard to sex? I am having a very hard time wrapping my head around the fact that your DH has not insisted that your daughter see a gynecologist. If your DD had diabetes or seizure disorder would you take her to the doctor? As an objective party here, I am just floored that you are not taking her to a gynecologist. If you haven't told your DH about your DD's sexual comments and evidence of opportunity for having sex, I think you should do so. Perhaps he would from a medical standpoint surely realize that a gynecologic examination of your DD is imperative. You posted about possibly talking to the pediatrician, I think you are way past going to the pediatrician. I would call the pediatrician for a referral to an adolescent gynecologist poste haste. This is your DD's health here, not just about birth control. I do not see it as putting your "seal of approval" of her behavior by taking her to a gynecologist, rather I see it as a necessary obligation as your DD's parent knowing what you do about the activities she is engaging in. I truly am not trying to offend you, but I cannot continue to read daily updates of talks and privileges, which BTW are great, but there is a much bigger picture here that I do not think you are seeing or are choosing not to see or deal with it. An appointment with a good adolescent gynecologist would be worth it's weight in gold at this point and going forward with DD. I don't think your DD is complying, I think she is playing you and you are buying it all, hook, line and sinker. I hope you take action on this as there are no do-overs with regard to many forms of STD's or heaven forbid, the AIDS virus. My DH is not a physician and we have talked at length about your situation from a parents' standpoint and he, like me, cannot understand why you have not taken your child to be examined. I really cannot read these comments much longer as I think you are putting your head in the sand by not having your child examined by a professional in this field of expertise. I wish you the best.

pammyfay, I was going to mention While You were Sleeping but was afraid it was too much of a "chick flick". It is the only movie I have watched over and over again. I never tire of it. If I'm channel surfing and should come upon it, I don't care at what point it is in the movie, I watch it. I know it would never win an Academy Award, but it just does it for me.

The Other Side...I think we agree on this topic slightly more than you give credit...what I said was: "There is healthy bonding with your child that is less "child centered" and establishes more independent children" I think from the sounds of it you have formed a relatively healthy attachment to your kids while fostering independence at the same time. My post was really more directed toward unhealthy "spouse replacement" type attachments with children. Your example of letting a 4 month old cry until they vomited is interesting and debateable of course. It is easy to judge without all the info. From your description it sounds on the outset horrible, as it conjurs images of a child left to cry for hours in abusive neglect, however, without the full story I reserve my judgement. Is it possible the parent not adequately burp the baby and the baby vomited after less than 15 min of crying? The parent did go in and change them. It is possible that it was not as abusive as it sounds, but rather a very normal process every parent must go through to allow their infant an opportunity to learn to "self-soothe" in order to develop good sleep habits that last a lifetime? It sounds as if you have the one child? Regarding the 16 year old world traveler. I can't say in this day and age I would send my child (16 is still a child) to travel alone in europe. I suspect it was with a school group (that is not alone)? Otherwise...I cannot give you the "way to go" you are looking for. I simply cannot agree that it is a "good" thing that your 16 year old "did" europe all alone. I am glad you and your ex Husband agreed...I presume a lack of closeness was not what broke up your marriage then? Regarding the pill swallowing...if you can swallow food...you can swallow a pill. Unless you take your sustainance via a straw...you can swallow something that big. Unless someone can show me in the DSM a diagnosable illness that precludes you from swallowing something smaller than stuff you put down your pie whole 3 times a day...I am not buying it! Your mother did you a disservice not teaching you that life skill earlier. I plan to ensure that every one of my children can swallow a pill. Sorry that hit a nerve...It is ridiculous!!!! Its a flippin pill! ok you can yell at me now. Ha ha