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catherinet11

Friend with a problem.........

catherinet
22 years ago

Hello!

I usually can help my good friend out most of the time. But she has a problem that I don't think anyone can do anything about, and I feel bad that I can't help her.

She had a rough childhood, and really never learned about love. She chose to marry a man (a long time ago), who she didn't really have that much in common with, but she just didn't want to be alone anymore. He seemed like a decent man at the time. Well, now she is totally unhappy with this man. He is so different from her, I don't see how she can stand it. There is no love between them. BUT......she has 2 children and has a chronic disease, and couldn't possibly support herself if she left him. She feels so desperate.

I try to get her to develop friendships and activities outside her home, in order to enlarge her world a little, and have some of her needs met by other people (I don't mean affairs!), and not depend on her husband for her happiness, but she doesn't feel well most of the time and is not very social.

She's not a religious person, so she doesn't even have that for support. I feel so helpless with her. She's a really good person who, unfortunately, made a big mistake in choosing a spouse, and now, because of other circumstances, is somewhat trapped.

Do you of you have any suggestions for me to give her? Telling her to get a divorce and just make the best of it seems like bad advice, knowing her limitations.

Her husband isn't physically abusive,.....he's just emotionally absent, and isn't really interested in changing.

I really would like to help her.......but she seems to be constantly depressed about this situation with her husband. There seems to be no way out for her, and I feel like I'm letting her down.

Any suggestions? Thank you for your help.

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