Dying mother or pregnant wife?
sadwife
15 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (19)
dotz_gw
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agosuzieque
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
My Dad's Wife
Comments (27)It was chocolate with homemade (not by me of course) vanilla frosting with exactly 12 chocolate sprinkles. Then I had the strawberry one as well buy failed to count the sprinkles as I felt too stressed at the time. I had two because the first one did not do the trick. PO1 I have no desire to add to my stressful life by contacting my dad's other children. We were not raised together. Maybe it isn't their fault but their biological mother locked me and my brother in a closet for days during our visits to my dad's. I was 8 the last time I let her close and lock the door on me. So no thanks. I have no need for reuniting and reliving the horror I sustained while my dad was married to their mother. I'm sure she abused them as well but they did move away with her and have continued to stay in the same area as her so I bet there is some loyalty to her, she is their mother. I know where they are. My sister keeps in touch with them. My sister and I are so different. She is best friends to this day with a girl who stole her bike, pushed her in the street and beat her face in. That girl would be no where near my face after that attack but my sister is forgiving. The same reason she tolerates my dad's inability to commit to being her father for longer than a week after 40 yrs. What surprises me is that she was 13 when he left and so she was very effected by it but she just has this need to know all of her blood biological relatives. The same way that she is attached to antiques and old pictures. I honestly don't care for the junk. I have no attachment to blood ties - maybe because I am 100% effected by being raised and loved by people who are not blood related to me. I have an entire family of non blood related people through my stepdad. My sister is not close to them because she was older but I was still in diapers. I don't feel the need to go off and find all of my dad's offspring. I'm sure there are more out there. He is good at reproducing. I just feel no attachment to them. Maybe I am weird but I just feel nothing. One half brother is dying. He has aids. He doesn't take care of himself. He prostetutes.. Why would I want to even say I'm related to someone that is possibly spreading a disease because he is ignorant and angry? I have NO desire. I dont care to know the other one either. The one time I did talk to him, he told me he remembered that I stole his toys. I was 5! He was still holding it against me. I had to steal something otherwise I was locked in a closet or not fed. I needed something to draw attention to myself! I have overcome that abuse. It never really defined me. I never really had issues. I was a great kid. So was my brother. My brother went on to serve our country freely and proudly for the last 17 years. So proud of him! We both overcame it and although I know it wasn't their fault what happened, I just don't want to bring that back in to my life. As far as my dad, I just don't know what I want right now. I considered writing him a letter and just calling it the end. No more contact. Move on. But the other part of me is scared I'll need his kidney one day. Actually that was a joke. I think putting it in writing makes it final. I don't want to hurt my dad. I don't want my words to burn into his eyeballs but I'm certain I just don't want a relationship with him. I just don't know if I want or need to tell him. I have nothing to get off my chest. I have told him all of the things I am sharing with you all, already. He knows it all and all he can do is say I'm sorry, again. I don't want him to say I am sorry. I know he is. I just have no interest. Do you think I'll change my mind as I get older? Not sure. JMT for the record, I agree with you 100%. I already said that and I don't think you need my approval but I completely get what you are saying. A bio parent that gives their child up for adoption is no more a deadbeat than a man who gave up his rights for the same reasons. Just because you both didn't give your child up doesn't change the circumstances. Maybe it would be different to PO1 if you BOTH gave the child up for adoption. Then you are selfless and did what was best for the child. For some reason we as a society say that because MOM kept the baby then dad should have to keep the baby too. But you have opened my eyes to that just isn't how it is nor should it be. I would probably have been so much better off had my dad just walked away and never looked back. Instead he wanted to drag us around to each girlfriend/new wife he had where I sustained abuse and guess what... Dad wasn't home anyway. He was always at work....See MorePart 2 - spouse's ex 45 & pregnant w/ love child
Comments (13)I agree a little with all of you. Yes this hit a nerve about the baby thing within me - - and I do think he is very male and didn't see the deeper issue with how to a woman this is a special, intimate thing that an ex should not be involved with even if it's in good fun. Maybe I take it more serious. But I do think he is still too entangled with the ex, she still hasn't learned to let up on asking his opinion about things and he still hasn't learned to set boundaries. He's gotten better but there's still a way to go. I told him how I felt about it after venting on this board and he said that he agreed with me. I told him that this baby has a father and the last thing this baby would want to find out it that his mothers ex was involved with his name! This is a biracial baby (father is black) and the mother wants to give him her last name which is Irish and I find it odd that everyone is pushing for an Irish first name as well when this baby will have many ethnicities to celebrate within his family. That's just my opinion and I am keeping to myself (and to ya'll). I know - it's not my call but it's the way I would handle it. My concern is now that she has asked about names I could very well see her asking him opinions on schools, etc in the future. My husband is very intelligent and a "leader" type so people often look to him for guidance, but in my opinion he is no longer her "pack" leader and the perks of having his opinion and advice in her life was over when the marriage was over. I explained this very point to him in the past when we argued about something else to do with her and he agreed at the time. But he doesn't realize when he's doing it! So frustrating....See MoreYahoo's new CEO is pregnant with her first baby
Comments (21)A viewpoint to reflect upon Chisue. So true in power couple unions. A loving nanny might be the better choice. It is possible she will just take the baby to work with her. Her net worth allows her to forgo all the little day to day issues regular everyday working women have. She doesn't have to cook,clean,run errands,drive the kid to school when he gets older etc. If she breastfeeds I'm guessing it will be by pump and bottle shortly. Nannies,personal assistants...different vibe. I know people who are similar who don't have her wealth but still don't put bonding with child ahead of career. A lady in my group moved out here to take care of her grandchild 4 years ago. Mom and dad both work although they could easily survive on dad's income. The 2nd child came along last year. Granny/nanny fell and broke her foot and was in a cast. We asked if she was still able to help out. She said yes that they brought the baby's stuff and put it near her along with the bassinet. But with her being in a cast they were thinking of hiring additional help to help her. I asked if that was because the mother had to go back to work. No she still had 4 months of maternity leave left. So why did they need her AND a nanny? Was it a difficult birth? No it was easy and fast. Is the older child developmentally delayed? No. This is a quote. I kid you not. "Well. You can't expect her (the daughter) to take care of a baby AND a 3 year old." Several jaws in the room almost hit the floor....See MoreDid you hear? Anna Duggar pregnant...
Comments (52)Lilliepad, you expressed my thoughts entirely,thank you. I think it's great that the older ones are taking care of the younger ones and learning parenting skills. Working in public health and doing a zillion positive pregnancy tests on teens that have no idea how to take care of an infant, they would have benefited from a large family and learning those skills. They have the baby with no knowledge and the next thing we know the babies are taken away from them and placed in foster care due to being an 'unfit' parent....See Morephoggie
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agocolleenoz
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agosweeby
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agosadwife
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agolindac
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agofinedreams
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agosadwife
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agodotz_gw
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agopopi_gw
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agonancylouise5me
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agosilversword
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agocarla35
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agodaisyinga
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agofinedreams
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agodsmirke
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agokszymczak_yahoo_com
12 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
Related Stories
HOUZZ TVHouzz TV: Cool Reclaimed Wood Projects Fill a Craftsman’s Home
Using barn wood, beadboard and beams, this homeowner has crafted furnishings and features for his family’s Chicago home
Full StorySHOP HOUZZHouzz Products: Great Gifts for Mom
Mother’s Day is May 11! Let Mom know how much she means to you with one of these terrific gifts from the Houzz Products section
Full StoryMOTHER’S DAYWhat We've Learned From Mom About Home
Share cherished memories as Houzzers recall the special traits, insights and habits of their mothers
Full StoryAPARTMENTSHouzz Tour: Life in a Converted School Building
A son renovates a space his mother can call her own when she comes to visit
Full StoryLIFEHouzz Call: What Has Mom Taught You About Making a Home?
Whether your mother taught you to cook and clean or how to order takeout and let messes be, we'd like to hear about it
Full StoryLIFEThe Beautiful Thing About Dad's Chair
My father had his own spot in the house. His father had his own spot. Now I have mine
Full StoryHOUZZ TOURSHouzz Tour: Pushing Boundaries in a Sydney Cottage
Expanding and adding on give an Australian family an extra bedroom, an office and — at long last — an indoor bathroom
Full StoryMODERN HOMESHouzz TV: A Son Builds on His Father’s Architectural Legacy
Architect Anthony Belluschi updates and expands a home that Northwest modernism pioneer Pietro Belluschi designed nearly 60 years ago
Full Story
thermometer