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Out of lurkdom (but I don't belong)

Posted by CarrieB (My Page) on
Wed, Feb 5, 03 at 10:28

Dear Married People,

I occasionally lurk here, but as a never-married person, I don't really fit in on this forum. However, I like this forum for relationship discussions and as a place to get input, support and ideas.

I would love to see a forum at this site on general relationships for those of us who are in a relationship but are not married. The forum could be open to anyone who is coupled, regardless of sexual orientation (which would preclude legal marriage in the US), duration of relationship, cohabitation status, etc.

Do you think there would be a lot of support out there for such a forum? I've searched the internet, and cannot find an existing one out there.

Thanks, CarrieB

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Out of lurkdom (but I don't belong)

I think that's a great idea!!!!!

RE: Out of lurkdom (but I don't belong)

Even if Spike just changed the title to "Marriage and relationships" or something like that. More cost effective than creating a whole new forum.

RE: Out of lurkdom (but I don't belong)

That makes a lot of sense to me, Phyllis. I'm a little tentative about coming onto your forum and suggesting a change that could be percieved as diluting or appropriating your space.

However, I would be delighted to pass your excellent suggestion on to Spike if enough people from this forum express their support for an expansion of the title.

Many thanks, CarrieB

RE: Out of lurkdom (but I don't belong)

Hey CarrieB,

About a year ago, there was a forum here called "The Single Life". It was fun to post on, and it was chock full of posts about dating, relationships, ups and downs, break ups, etc.

The forum was yanked because it became more like a chat room. Only certain people would post and "talk" to each other; they would post the strangest things, not even dealing with singledom. Things like, jokes, surveys, poster-to-poster messages not even dealing with a single's life.

I really, really, really wish that Spike would consider having a forum to deal with relationships.

I lurk like mad on this Marriage forum, but I am not married - just in a committed relationship. I feel like I "cannot" post here because I don't have the piece of paper or ring on the finger (which I don't want).

I lurk like mad, and post on, the Stepfamily forum; even though I am not married and not 'in' a Stepfamily. But there are enough issues in my life that I need to lurk/post in that forum, because the people there are living the same life.

Maybe Spike will consider a dating or singles forum. Just because we are "single" does not mean we will start up some lanky, moronic chat room like the others did a year or so ago. We just have our own set of issues that we'd like to post on (I know I do!) and in the Marriage / Stepfamily forum, it's not really right.

- darkeyedgirl

RE: Out of lurkdom (but I don't belong)

Actually I think it was well over a year ago that Spike
removed the singles site. He also removed the marriage
site for a year. Probably because the marriage site was
getting too twisted, obscene, bizzare, sexual and open.
I could go on and on, but it boardered on porn sometimes.
Not sure about the single site. But I've noticed things
are toned down here now!

RE: Out of lurkdom (but I don't belong)

Carrie, I think expanding this forum to "marriage and relationships" is a great idea. I am married but would have no problem 'sharing', I say go ahead and ask Spike. I'm sure that people would respond to posts that were relevant to them, the same as they do now. Go for it!

RE: Out of lurkdom (but I don't belong)

I don't think there is really any reason that any committed person couldn't use this forum. I mean really, the only difference between you and I are the stupid peice of paper from the state, health care benefits, a tax break, and a nice ring on the finger. The fact that I am married and you are not has nothing to do with the level of love and committment or the problems that we all face. They are pretty much the same. I'd be just as happy to post on a married and relationship forum. But I don't think a singles forum is the same thing- that should be separate. If and until Spike adds the "relationship" title to this forum, you're fine by me to post on this forum.

RE: Out of lurkdom (but I don't belong)

Did ya see? The Single Life is back!


RE: Out of lurkdom (but I don't belong)

Glad to see that the Singles have their forum back. And thanks to all of you who expressed support for including (non-marrieds') relationship issues on the Marriage forum. I have sent out a request to Spike to add "and Relationships" to the title of this forum. So that those who are married, single, and somewhere in between all have a place here at That Home Site!

Regards, CarrieB

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