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drattit

Wife's First Affair

Drattit
11 years ago

My wife has had three brief affairs which she tried to keep secret from me. For now, I only want to talk about the first one. It involved a photographer -- a former boyfriend and a very good photographer. There are many details (none involved much "snooping" on my part) of how I discovered her affair.

I try to not be jealous or possessive, to let my wife keep her old friendships and relations with others. She told me her old boyfriend was going through a divorce, and she told me he needed to talk, etc. etc. To make a long story short, this man gave her a book he'd recently published and in it was a tiny tiny photo of a nude woman that did not show the woman's face. I suspected but couldn't prove it was her in the photo until 10 years after the event--never mind how--, when computers made it easy for anyone to examine photographic details by themselves. I then discovered more details and more photos that came from her brief affair with her old boyfriend.

I never "confronted" her with this proof of her infidelity. Everyone's favorite word is "confront." I am not confrontational and don't like to be.

What should I have done a decade after the event? What would you have done?

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