We draw names, have done it for several years. My four adult children, their spouses, my husband before he passed away in August, and myself. There are no grandchildren. We do it on Thanksgiving, write each name on a slip of paper and each pick one. We say a $50 gift. This way each person only has to buy one gift.

Honestly I believe that Christmas present buying needs to be limited to parents buying for their young children. Once people get out on their own and start a family, it's time to stop all that present buying nonsense (Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Nieces and Nephews, where does it end?). $50 may not sound like a lot but when there's a couple then that's $100 and then there ends up being a bunch of children that they are all expected to buy for because they aren't included in name drawing and then it just gets out of hand. $100 may not seem like much but if you don't have it, then it's a LOT! Another thing, in a married couple there are two sides to have to buy for. Plus it's an unnecessary expense that a lot of people just should not be expected to have to spend money on. There really is no good reason to buy presents for adults unless money is no object and how many of us can say that!?

Signed,
Scrooge :)

We do a gift exchange every Christmas. All the adult children, spouses and parents. Since we don't live close together my son does it using the SecretSanta.com site. Everybody is sent an e-mail by the administrator and then the program chooses the Secret Santa using parameters set by the administrator. He also uses the program where he works. It's cool and there is even a place for everyone to include a little wish list. We set the limit at $50.00 but that is what we all decided on.
Joann

Ghoghunter, thanks for the info on the Secret Santa site, that sounds just what need to use. We do not get together that often, so this would be perfect;) I have already checked it out KEWL!

arkansas_girl, I am so with you. I don't buy Christmas presents at all.

Of course, the divorce has a lot to do with it... but

My grandkids have so many toys, that my daughter puts some away on a regular schedule.

No way, will I contribute to this mess.

Moni

My family used to do a name draw, but after a few years, we decided we didn't want or need more stuff, and we stopped and haven't missed it. If families do wish to exchange gifts, I think a draw is a great way to do it. We always drew names in the summer and had a $50 limit.

Ditto Arkansas_girl! I wish we could do away with all the gift giving. On my side of the family, we do a homemade gift exchange which is fun - participation is completely voluntary and we bring one homemade gift. On the in-laws side, however, it's out of control! Every year my mother-in-law asks for our lists and then she goes and buys every item on the list. I got smart and started giving her a list of only 2-3 lower priced items and she was not very happy. I think she equates spending money to love or something - and they don't have the money to spend, so I always wonder if they're going into debt to purchase gifts. My step-son has often received gifts from my in-laws that surely must total in the several thousand dollar range, which I truly believe has led to his sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations for the holiday - and he is 18! We get him one or two reasonably priced things and call it good.

We don't need more stuff, either. So a few years ago we decided to pick names. Then the person makes a donation to a charity that is of particular interest to the person whose name they picked.

For example, I picked my sister. She is very involved in her church, so I'll make a donation to that church in her name. For me, whomever picked me will either make a donation to an animal rescue organization of their choice, church, other organization that reaches out to help people, etc.

It's nice, because we come up with creative ways to "reveal" it to the recipient on Christmas Day. Some will take a copy of their check, put it in a box, and wrap it, others do other creative things, etc. That's fun. The recipient is always pleased about the gift and doesn't know to which charity it's been given until Christmas.

We do $75.

My family, before it dwindled down to just me and my two adult children, had been drawing names with a dollar limit for the past 50 years and I think it makes perfect sense.

I also know of several families who give what they would have normally spent to a charity. That's the true spirit of Christmas giving.

I'm constantly irked when people are asked what their hobbies are and many will say "shopping". What a skewed sense of priorities. No, we don't need more 'stuff'. Something wrong with having to buy someone something even if they don't need or want it, just because it's Christmas.

Shopping is a fun hobby! You can enjoy shopping without actually buying anything as well. I like looking at things, touching them, people watching, etc. Doesn't matter if it's the grocery store, Home Depot or Macy's - I enjoy shopping. Decent exercise too if you do it long enough.

I'm only exchanging gifts with my boyfriend this year. I usually don't buy for anyone, but I may add my new baby nephew as well. I have no idea how to buy for a baby!

I love the charity swap idea.

We stopped giving to DH's side of the family years ago when many problems came up and then after we moved, found out the road only runs in one way and they kind of stopped communicating. I try to buy something the greats need, last year was dressers, this year is was those cubicles that hold boxes for toys. etc, plus a few books and clothing--My kids get money, all the same amount and since I need nothing, not expecting much. Just get together and enjoy watching the 4 greats open the gifts.

My side doesn't get together anymore. My DH'S side gets together. The women bring a woman's gift and the guys a guy gift. The women draw numbers and pick a gift. You can pick another one or take one that has already ben opened. The men do the same. We try to stay around $10.00. We have a ball. You have all year to pick up something so most gifts are items bought on sale or clearance. I have taken items that have been $20.00 or more regularly. Most people do this. There are usually around 20 of us. The parents bring their own young ones gifts for Santa to give to them. It works out great for all of us.

An alternative to gift giving is a White Elephant gift exchange which costs nothing and can be hilarious. Just something fun without the stress of buying presents. It's not meant to be a "present" at all, just something funny to do.

Another thing that's inexpensive is an ornament exchange.

This post was edited by arkansas_girl on Fri, Dec 13, 13 at 16:25

have thought about it but never mentioned it...4 kids, 3 spouses, 9 grands and us.

we do limit the amount we spend... this year glad to say I have a rainy day fund..my car is in the repair shop and wow! huge chunk of cash....told dh that's my Christmas present from him!

We don't do a formal gift exchange with families anymore. I do buy each sibling (on both sides) a small generic house gift- bag of gourmet coffee, holiday food package, plant, etc. And kids under ten get a toy or book. Since my Mom and Dad and only brother are gone, I really don't enjoy gifting. I've told my 2 sisters any money they would have spent on a gift for me should go to their own kids. There's nothing I need or want at this point in my life.

We stopped doing the whole family gift giving when the whole family just kept growing and growing and we would all be broke if we kept it up.
So I buy for my sisters and Mom only on my side.
My husband buys for his Mom.
We send our kiddos one big check for them to use for a big family gift or to split among every one. They love that.
Makes it very easy.
Hubby and I usually have a little something that we buy at some point that we designate as our Christmas this year. Ours this year was the new mattress for the RV, and man that one was a great gift!
I ordered him a new tablet it happens to be at Christmas but it because he needed one, my old one he was using has developed a problem with the charging port. So not actually a Christmas gift. But since it was Christmas I was able to take advantage of the good prices.

In several of the clubs or groups I am in we do the Dirty Santa swaps. The gifts are real nice gifts not gag and we put a spend limit on it. All the wrapped gifts are in a pile and each person gets a number. When your number is called you can either go pick a gift from the pile or if you like something someone else has already picked then you can go steal that gift and that person then has another turn to pick and she can do the same either take a pick from the pile or steal someone's gift just not the same one she had. We put a freeze on the stealing of an individual item at 2 or 3 steals if not it can go on too long. We always have a fabulous time doing this.
My sisters inlaws do this every year and it is such fun. Men buy men gifts and women buy women gifts the kids are not included they have their regular gifts. I tell you it can get down right hilarious with the men stealing and fighting over a good tool! lol Or when a man picks one of the women gifts how fast he can get rid of it! The fun and laughs of the whole family are worth much more than the actual gifts.

Chi83, I agree shopping has been a hobby of mine for years. When we go on vacations, I always shop around and find unsual things for my kids. I love gift giving and have it down to a reasonable amount, that I spend. When the kids were younger it was a bit out of hand. I never over spend and love giving my kids and gkids gifts~~even through out the year. I know it is hard for the younger kids $$wise so drawing names will be a perfect solution for that.

I have no grandkids - so no greats (that I'm aware of, at least).

For a number of years I've cut down on the gift giving and sending Christmas cards, sending just a letter with greetings, and have explained that I've made contributions to charities instead.

I gave my brother and wife a cheque for their 50th wedding anniversary and they gave it to their local cancer charity, with which my brother has had a connection ... and the cancer agency sent me the receipt. I'm sending it back, telling them to reissue it to my brother, as he needs it for income tax relief more than I do.

Which leads me to wonder ... if I'm going to give to a charity instead of giving a gift to that person, 'in someone's name', so to speak ...

... shouldn't that person be the one who receives the receipt for the charitable contribution, as long as s/he is in the same country and is taxable?

Otherwise, I'm making the gift ... but the benefit that flows from that gift goes to me, the (claimed/supposed) giver: apart from the charity, I'm the only other beneficiary ... not the supposed 'recipient'.

Many of us, being older, may have begun giving thought to what items will be given to family or friends, put into a yard sale, etc. as we downsize from our traditional home to a smaller residence. Thus not in need of more 'stuff'.

Or, having disposed of many at least partially treasured articles as we downsized ... are not enthusiastic about needing to find a spot to store one more thing in our new, smaller digs.

Spend some time with me, take me out to dinner, or something: I don't need more 'stuff'.

Or make a gift to a homeless person or a charity.

ole joyfuelled... who has all of the 'stuff' that he needs, now

I know joyful, if I get one more sofa throw/blanket deal I'm going to have to add on a new room to the house! I say "keep your money I don't need another 'blankie'".

We still do a limited gift exchange on my side of the family. I usually buy clothes for nieces and nephews, but their parents get nothing. The clothes are usually really cute end of season clearance stuff for the next year or something I know they would really like, but their parents won't buy. My single siblings still get a gift from us. My sis just bought her first house and works a second job to help with extras. I'll probably buy her something like work clothes or a planner she has been wanting for work. I'll make fruit leathers or something edible for my brothers that they won't find elsewhere. My family has never been big on froufrou items or dust collectors. We appreciate practical gifts.