Hi Terri! I'll post my dinner here, so that my thread drops down. We set a record temperature for cold last nite -30C. It warmed up to be a beautiful, sunny winter day. -11C. Hubby had the urge for hotdogs, so he had 2 of those and I had a sausage on a bun, loaded with mustard, onions and sauerkraut. Bought some potato salad and coleslaw to go with them. I made a cherry cheesecake last nite and we had that for dessert. It's the uncooked, refrigerated kind with whipped cream. Delish!

Wow, your dinners all sound fantastic! Kickin' shrimp fettucine sounds amazing Raven! Steak and potatoes would never be turned down, here. Rhizo, your chicken cutlet sauce sounds delicious, as usual. I'm hoping asparagus is on sale again this week. Shirley, good thing you keep Stouffers on hand for days like today when you don't feel like cooking. CountrySunshine, haven't seen you here in ages!!! Welcome back. Chinese takeout is a treat and we don't even get hungry in an hour. LOL Sue you had a real summertime meal!!! Wow, you must be itching for hot weather :-)

If everyone will already be there, I would invite them all. I am part of a community that always invites all out of towners to the rehearsal dinner (or whatever the "night before" party is called) anyway, and I know that that is not true in every community. But for a destination wedding? These guests have spent a lot of money and possibly used a good chunk of their vacation time to come to your wedding. To me, anyone who cares about you enough to do that is close enough to be the "inner circle" invited to the rehearsal dinner. It's not like they can stay home. What are they supposed to do instead? Arrange and pay for a restaurant dinner, then spend the rest of the evening sitting in their hotel rooms while you party? If I were one of your relatives, I would be stunned not to be invited to all the parties (and I would feel embarassed, as though the hosts never really expected or wanted me to accept the invitation). I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. Obviously, you can do whatever you want. But remember, you cannot dictate how your guests will feel about it. Do you really want even one of your guests to be thinking, "They think it's okay for me to spend hundreds of dollars to come to Mexico, just so they could have a 'destination wedding,' but I'm not worth the price of supper to them?"

Intrestingly, I was reading the big Emily Post's Etiquette (15th edition, which is a few years old now; she's up to the 17th), and it said: "All the members of the bridal party (with the exception of ver young flower girls, pages, or ring bearers), the immediate famliies of the bride and groom, and out-of-town relatives who have arrived for the wedding are invited." Not "sometimes invited"; "are invited." In my two areas (small-town midwest, and big-city NYC), that doesn't happen. She goes on: "if facilities and finances permit, a few very close friends are often included, especially whose who come from a distance." (but then, they'd be "out of town guests," no? I sense some inconsistency) "If the clergyman is a prsonal friend, or comes from out of town, he and his wife should also be invited. "Husbands, wives, fiances, and live-in companions of the attendants go to the rehearsal dinner, but "dates" ar enot included." There are seating diagrams, etc--she treats it much like a big wedding. And though she says 'music and dancing are not at all essential.." she also says "Other[s] [rehearsal dinners] are far more elaborate. A strolling violinist or accordionist may play romantic background music, or there may be a full orchestra and after-dinner dancing." That seems way overboard to me! and, int he section on menu: "when the wedding is large and formal, the style of the rehearsal dinner is too, and the meal compares to that of any formal dinner. However such an elaborate and expensive menu is in no way necessary. If the wedding is informal and nontraditional, the menu should be also." I really disagree w/ the implication that the rehearsal dinner *should* be formal if the wedding is. A contrast in tone is kind of nice. And all this sort of implies a fanciness and a scale that I think is too likely to compete w/ the rehearsal dinner. But I think for our OP, the fact that the hostess is worried about it being too big and too expensive, that recruiting someone else to organize outings, etc., is a better idea.