Stop doing for this kid.Stop going to his activities.What I'm about to say(not toward you though)will sound very cold hearted.Stop worrying about him and emotionally protect yourself, his ulcer included.Why is his Father not taking him in for treatment.It is his Father's responsibility.Urge your DH once to take him for ulcer treatment then let it go. Do not give up anymore independence,financial security or your sanity for this kid bc at the end of the day ?The kid will not appreciate it.Sounds to me like juvenile detention would make a nice home for this kid.Along with Psychiatric help.It would take ONCE seeing my kid beat an elderly person I would put his hind end in that detention center so fast his head would spin.He sounds like an endangerment to others and himself. If there is anyway to go back to your chosen profession you should look into that.You have given up way to much.Your DH needs to get this kid into a psychiatrist and perhaps put him in the system before he beats someone(maybe even you)to severe damage or death.

Hi, I am new to this forum but reading everyone's comments made me feel so much better about the way I feel. I have been with my fiance for 11 years since his son was 2 years old. His ex is a psychopath, she has tried to kill herself multiple times in front of the child and suffers from bipolar and depression. We have been to court multiple times and everytime her family swoops in to protect her and the child says he wants to stay with his mom. We just got finished wasting $6k on an attorney for family court because she broke up with her boyfriend, went out drinking and got a dwi and then told the cops she was going to kill herself so she spent the weekend handcuffed to a hospital bed. She has manipulated her son into thinking that everything is his father's fault. He is now 13 years old and just called up my fiance to tell him he doesnt want to talk to him or see him anymore, and my fiance is beside himself. We have done so much, he is such a wonderful father, he never says a bad word about his ex to his child and has done everything to try to make up for the stress his mother puts him through and this is how he is repaid. I have spent the past 11 years giving up my weekends to have his son here, we sold our house last year to buy a house in his school district because she couldn't find am apartment I'm the district. We have gone above and beyond, I just can't take anymore. Now I have to see all of the pain my fiance is going through and there is nothing I can do. I feel helpless and deep down in side I'm happy to get a break. I just feel like I have never had a life with my fiance that didn't involve his son and his ex and now I could possibly have a chance but he is so broken over his son. I feel horrible saying this but I dont care if he doesnt come over anymore on the weekends the only reason I care is because it hurts my fiance so badly. I also fear how it will be when his son decides to come back around because I am angry for what he has done to his father and have a lot of resentment. Sometimes I feel like just giving up.

The show that I really like is Bang For Your Buck. On BFYB the camera takes its time and actually shows whole rooms and details with a well-photographed and easy eye. No jarring editing. No dumb "reveal." The owners explain why they remodeled as they did, how and why they made their decisions, what worked and what didn't, etc. Then the designers come in and critique the rooms. Of course, they're supposed to find something wrong, so they always do, even if it's silly. But you actually have a serious discussion of a room by two separate parties. I don't actually care much who got the biggest "bang", but I've gotten a lot of decorating ideas. Love HouseHunters just for choosing the house I like best and guessing which was the one chosen. Some of the stories on HH are very moving. Unless, of course, it's some 20-something whippersnapper who whines about granite or looks at a perfectly usable bathroom and says "dated". In that case, like some other posters here, I yell at him/her to go live in a village in Afghanistan or Iran, where the toilets are literally a hole in the floor (or the ground). Sometimes we don't realize how great our lives are! As an English teacher and cranky grammar-nanny, I do blame HGTV for its cruel assault on our beautiful language. However, I'll spare the forum my lecture. :o)

He wants sex but you're never in the mood? If you're looking for a bunch of women to sit here and tell you you're right and he doesn't appreciate what he has, don't read my post. What I will say might make you mad.... but then if you give any attempt at following my advice it will save your relationship. Go pick up a copy of "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura. There are comments after comments from men who were unhappy in their marriages. The comment is there, over and over - "My wife won't sleep with me, I think she doesn't love me." You gave an example of how HE started a fight earlier in the day.... looks to me like YOU started the fight. I'll repost here: "We were walking out of Walmart and he was carrying four 12 packs of soda. I asked if he wanted them in the trunk or the backseat, he said he didn't care. I asked again for him to just pick one, and an argument broke out. I told him all I wanted was for him to answer the question, he said he did, I said I just wanted him to pick one of the choices I gave him. He told me to get over it, and get over myself. Told me it didn't matter, I should just accept his answer, make the decision myself, and get over it. I told him that at the moment I was over him. He said he didn't care." So.... he didn't care if you put some soda in the trunk or the back seat, and you demanded that he give you an answer? What a controlling thing to do. "Just pick one," you said.... wow, that's rude. Why does he have to pick one? Why did you demand he pick one instead of just accepting that he really didn't give a flying woohoo if the pop went in the back seat or trunk? I'll break down the psychology on what happened there. You asked him to pick something. He gave an honest answer - it made no difference to him. You took that as him not caring about you in some way, and you made a power grab. "Just pick one." You were trying to control him. You started the fight because it bothered you that he didn't care. You said, "I just wanted him to pick one of the choices I gave him." Why did he have to do what you wanted him to do? Why were you so demanding? Because you wanted the control. By now, you have either matured a lot and realized you don't need to demand an answer from him or you have split. By now, you have hopefully realized that whether you like it or not, sex, and enjoying sex, is part of your duties in your marriage, just like sleeping in the same bed with you is part of your husband's duty. Now, just so you have some background on me.... I have taken a chunk out of my day to write this to you because I was once in your position. I felt like my husband didn't love me. He also didn't want to hang out with me. After a huge fight, he told me he wasn't happy with me. So I got pissed. I felt abandoned. I didn't feel like sleeping with him so he didn't get any. I also started petty little fights with him all the time. (By the way, I know why you did that, it's because there's so much hurt and resentment lying just under the surface boiling and wanting to come out). I don't know what causes it... but I felt like I had the right to demand that my husband answer stupid questions like "where should I put the pop," too. And all it did was make me miserable. So, here's how I fixed it. I read that stupid book by Dr. Laura (whom I really don't like anyway). I learned about what my husband thought about me. I learned about how he thinks. I learned that when I say "I'm not in the mood" he hears "I don't love you." If you want to keep your man, you'll figure out how to get in the mood. You'll actually eventually enjoy and need it, too. Next, I promised myself I was going to let the little arguments go. I was going to work on being extra nice, even when I didn't think he was being nice to me or I thought he was being rude. Please understand, we used to scream at each other and break up. Neighbors once complained about our fighting. Our kid was involved. It wasn't an easy mess to fix, but I promise it was MY mess to fix. I'm so glad I did. By putting my guard down and just putting love out there toward him (AND SEX), I found my best friend. And he knows how lucky he is to have me, and I can't imagine life without him, even for a minute. I wish you the best of luck in your journey :)