Holidays are always bittersweet. We remember years past -- and family and friends who have 'passed'. I know I'd be missing my DH too! I bet your *joy* will kick in when family arrives. (So nice to have some, isn't it?)

Phoggie, your head is just swimming with thoughts, isn't it? Two years isn't really very long to settle down after the loss of your dear husband; it's still fresh enough to make you sad. I hope you can find some peace in small things and seeing family. Go for some walks if you can, call a friend. Best wishes.

Susan

I am feeling the same way this year and it will be my 4th Christmas without my DH. I have hardly decorated this year. It just doesn't seem worth it anymore.

I always said I would have a tree even if I was alone, but alas, I don't. To much trouble to put up and put away for myself.

Some times hugs speak louder than words. ((((((Phoggie))))))

I agree with all of you. DH has been gone 16 months and for some reason it is harder this year than last. Very few decorations in the house, and I really don't feel like doing much. I do plan to go to DD's for Christmas, and there will be 4 little ones and others. That will be fun. I spent more than I plan, so will have to cut down. Most people here have decorated and that is fun. We have had groups come and entertain and I do enjoy that.
Merry Christmas to all
Marie
And thanks for all the nice cards.

Feeling much the same way after losing my husband in March.
Also getting over an intestinal flu that is going around here.

So many of my old friends are gone or unable to send cards anymore.

But then I try to think of the real spirit of Christmas!! And to count my many blessings.

Would you believe that I got a phone call from "Rachel" this morning!!! Now that is something that I didn't need. I told her to get lost!!!

I put a wreath on the door. SO and I went together and got our Christmas gifts for US yesterday. A new blue ray player and some DVD's we wanted. One is Guardians of the Galaxy, and we are saving that for Christmas eve. It's our very FAVORITE, so I'm looking forward to that.

I have tomorrow off, and will straighten up in here, and maybe drag some decorations out. It's tough. Neither of us have family here. Gifts have been shipped and received to family and loved ones. I got a box from my sister with some wonderful coffee and chocolates that have already been consumed, but saving a small wrapped package to open Christmas morning. That will be the only gift I'll have to open.

I usually participate in the Secret Santa gift exchange at work, but after a couple of years of being disappointed by not being acknowledged for the gifts I gave, I didn't do it this year.

Years past, Christmas was always a big deal with lots of family, wonderful food, music and celebration. Now, it's basically another day.

I will make prime rib, Yorkshire pudding, oven roasted brussells sprouts, sour cream/garlic mashed potatoes and rich brown gravy with a pumpkin pie for dessert. that we'll consume while watching the movie.

I'm looking forward to that. Had to talk the big guy into waiting to watch it until then so I'll have something exciting to look forward to.

Thanks so much for your responses. I had no idea that so many of us had lost our soul mates within the last few years..but I can not figure why it seems harder this year than last. Maybe it was that I was so busy decorating this house last year because it was on the Christmas Parade of Homes...this I have too much time to "think".

Guess it is just this time of the year. I took DH for his last "ride" to the hospital on this date and he passed New Year's Eve...one minute until midnight. It helps me know that I am not alone in the lacking of spirit...maybe I am not headed to the mental ward! As my mom always said when things went wrong..."This too shall pass."

I started out well enough but I have little Christmas spirit left. No particular reason I guess.

A heartfelt Merry Christmas to all of you.

not really the thread to discuss long term health care, but after seeing fil's bills while having to get rid of all his assets to go on Medicaid, you have hit a really rough time for us, as power of attorney...

my mother took her life in hand after my father passed...she did have help from a dear friend who sold her a lovely mobile home..it was really the first time in her married life she wasn't in an apt. and enjoyed it for nearly 20 years...she also explored options of joining an elder swim and made some great friends, several like her, who had lost the loves of their life. it was taking that first step, an did so with a firm belief she was in charge...

divide the word...CHRIST-love, birth, joy, life....

I have several friends that have lost their husband and they tell me that the second year is the hardest. So, don't feel guilty just know you are normal You'll feel a lot better when family arrives and there's lots of noise and joy in the house. Put on that happy face, you might even fool yourself.

Georgysmon, I will take your words to heart and pretend to be happy. Sometimes that has worked for me. I am sitting here in a blue funk not the least bit interested in Christmas. I still have my spouse but he has been taken down a peg or two with a stroke about three years ago, and our lifestyle is not the best. However, I going right now and make the bed, throw some laundry in, and look happy for my hubs. Maybe go out to lunch.

Bless you all and have a merry Christmas.

I'm sorry for the losses you have all been thru.I'm fortunate that my dh is still with us,but i have no xmas spirit this year either.

I didn't put up any of my trees,nor did i decorate or make any goodies.All of my gk's have moved to other states,and have since had their own kids,and with the economy the way it is,no one can afford to take time off to travel,or any of that sort of thing.My oldest son and his wife divorced this year after being seperated for 2 years,they will come by and we all still get along,and those 2 gk's from them are 20 and 15,so are into doing stuff with their friends.They'll come by,but probably won't stay long.

DH on the other hand has always been a scrooge when it comes to xmas.Since our own kids were little he hasn't helped decorate,put up the tree or any of that,he always things i'm crazy for doing it all these years,but i told him i do it for me.

This year however,me is too old(76) to be hauling all that stuff into the house from the shed and putting it all up etc.So i just put out a few of my xmas cross stitch pieces,put a santa hat on the cow that stands guard at my front door,and put my santa placemats,on the dining room table,and that's it.

I did shop and sent all the ggk's gifts off.So xmas will be just like any other day here except the phone will be in use non stop as i talk with all my sisters and other family members on xmas day.

I'll stay busy,will have my xmas music playing as i do everyday during the season,it will just be less hectic and quieter this year.

Merry Christmas to you all,enjoy the holidays.
Kathi

boy i'm so lucky to have a dh that loves to put things up...I've made him cut back big time, though...the weather has taken it's toll on us last couple of years, so we've really limited the lights to a few strings and gave several pieces to purple heart....figure they can use them a LOT more than we could...

Even though we miss them every day, the anniversaries are harder. (((phoggie)))

Does your religious agency hold a special service for bereaved or others who are dealing with some kind of sadness or the blues?

We've held such at our church for a number of years, and a couple of years ago one person whose wife had been very active, when we were asked to share our feelings talked quite a bit and I think that he found the service quite helpful.

ole joyful

Joyful guy.....sadly, we do not have this in this area. What
a wonderful idea.

So sorry that so many have lost their spouse, my darling passed away 9 years ago..it doesn't seem to get any easier. Christmas time is when I miss him the most.

Blessed Christmas and New Year to all..