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I'm trying not to get too mad!

Posted by sudiepav (My Page) on
Sat, Dec 8, 12 at 10:36

I find myself a little on edge at the holidays...trying hard not to let all the stress get to me! I am kind of annoyed right now. A friend called me yesterday and asked if she could ride with me to a brunch we're attending. I agreed, and she just called and said she's running late and will be at my house in 20 minutes. Meanwhile, I have a quiche to bring which is out of the oven (we should be leaving now) and we will be at least 25 minutes late. Taking deep calming breaths!


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

When someone does that I'd tell them "I'll see you there".


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

Good for you for coming here to vent, thus keeping your cool with your friend. I hope you have fun at your brunch.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

I have a problem with people running late but only if they do it often. If this is not the norm then relax, you'll get there.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

Do not let her stress you out, tell her I made a quiche and we need to lreave now, sorry you are running late but I cannot, so please find another way to the brunch. What is wrong with telling the truth? I lived too many years like you with others dictating my life until the pain or stress of it was more than I could bear, now I kindly but firmly tell it like it is, and I do not back down.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

I would ask if she had any other way to get there. If you didn't have the quiche, it might be a differnet story, but you've put work into that, why put yourself in that pickle. Tell her sorry, but you have to leave now because you don't want your food to be ruined.
This isn't your fault.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

You are very considerate. I need lessons from you.

I would have said, see you there... I need to get going now, or my quiche will not make it.

Moni


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

I gave up a friendship with a gal like that~~other things were involved, but that was a big one for me~~esp when I spoke to her about it several times.Iit was as if my time was not a valuable as her time;(


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

I have a friend that is constantly late and most of the time, we just joke about it but it does get annoying....And then when she does show up, she'll sit in her car and finsh talking on her cell phone....Awhile back, I had been waiting in the parking lot, she pulled in, I got out of my car and she continued to talk on her phone so I just got back in my car and left.....She got the message but didn't take long to fall back into the same habit......


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

I hope that sudiepav comes back to tell us how late her friend REALLY was. In my experience, when someone calls to say they'll be few minutes late, it's usually twice as long as their original estimation.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

I have one of those warming bags when I go to potluck luncheons. Used it this morning for Christmas brunch.

I now have two. First one from WalMart and new one from Dollar Tree.

They work!


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

My first reaction was also to say I couldn't wait, but then I thought... a true friendship is more important than showing up with a hot quiche.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

That is one reason I go by myself and do not volunteer to take anyone or ride with anyone. That way I can leave when I want to also. Selfish?? Yes, but over the years I too have made poor judgement calls and yes even with riding with someone else.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

There's this thing called respect and I'm not hearing a lot being directed your way. She asked YOU for the ride and then she calls you at the time you're supposed to leave saying she's late? Bad...especially if she knew you were bringing food. There's no reason for the friendship to end over this; just state facts.

My response would have been "Well, you'll have to find your own way. I committed to bringing food at a certain time and I need to honor that committment. Sorry you're late but we'll chat later."


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

This is why I suggested purchasing a warming bag. Keeps the food warm if you are delayed.

And warm when transporting the food whether you are on time or late.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

I'll give your friend the benefit of the doubt....perhaps whatever she was bringing wasn't ready on time. I agree with chi sue, a true friendship is more important. Get that warming bag for the future. On the other hand, if she is always late, I would just say I have errands to run before hand and after. I'll see you there.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

Hey everybody...thanks for chiming in. I put my quiche back in the (turned off) oven to keep warm. She arrived 20 minutes later, and I was ready to go. I DO have one of those warming bags (g-sale and cheap!) which I usually use for a 13x9 casserole, and this was in a Pyrex pie pan. So while I was waiting, I lined the carrier with newspaper, covered the quiche with foil, put more newspaper on top, and I zipped the whole thing shut. We were the last to arrive, but not by much, and all was fine. Thanks, friends, for letting me vent, so I didn't feel so resentful of my friend. She is a dear person. She IS chronically late, however, and it do think the next time she asks,I'll have an "excuse" as to why I can't take her. Happy, stress less Christmas and holidays to all!


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

It is not the warming bag idea, it is the lack of consideration in arriving at the place late. The people in charge like to have items on the serving table (buffet) ahead of time, so the majority of the people can sit down to a hot meal, NOT lukewarm.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

Actually, everything was fine. We are all former co-workers and it was so fun to see everyone, and our being late didn't affect the meal at all. Everything was delicious , including my quiche which was a first time try for me...my family doesn't eat that sort of thing. All was good, and I am aware if this should arise again. Usually I think faster on my feet than I did when she called yesterday.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

So next time tell your friend you'll be leaving a half hour before you actually plan to leave ;-)


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

The warming bag is a good idea.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

Quiche is best served at room temperature!


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

My beloved sister in law was always late for us to meet her, have her ride with us, etc. It didn't take us very long to decide to tell her the time was 30 minutes earlier than we would need. Problem solved. I miss her, scatterbrained and always late, but such a dear, loving, kind, generous free spirit.


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

I totally agree with those suggesting moving the time back by half an hour! I do it with my dearest husband ALL the time! He has to take me to medical appointments fairly frequently...his idea of being on time is to slide into the parking lot with one minute to spare. My idea is to arrive fifteen minutes early.

Recently, my strategy backfired on me. We arrived an hour before we needed to! (My fault for misinterpreting the orders.) Instead of being irritated with me and bored, he started a crossword on his smartphone, read me funny emails, laughed at videos I showed him on my Kindle Fire. When I was called to my appointment he said, "Already? "

Isn't he something special?


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

I totally agree with those suggesting moving the time back by half an hour! I do it with my dearest husband ALL the time! He has to take me to medical appointments fairly frequently...his idea of being on time is to slide into the parking lot with one minute to spare. My idea is to arrive fifteen minutes early.

Recently, my strategy backfired on me. We arrived an hour before we needed to! (My fault for misinterpreting the orders.) Instead of being irritated with me and bored, he started a crossword on his smartphone, read me funny emails, laughed at videos I showed him on my Kindle Fire. When I was called to my appointment he said, "Already? "

Isn't he something special?


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

I'm so glad to hear that it all worked out pretty well, after your little initial upset.

rhizo_1,
Yes, he does sound like he is 'very' special.

Sue


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RE: I'm trying not to get too mad!

Something always goes wrong around the holidays. Sir down and breathe. A week (month/year) from now you won't even remember how upsetting this is!


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