Ok, I've answered some of these points above already but once again to clarify: 1. There wasn't enough room at the table, so we did fix a plate but it wasn't just a matter of taking our seats. There were no seats to take. Going to the kitchen was a last resort - I didn't know what else to do. 2. The hostess had not yet eaten by the time we arrived. So she couldn't remain sitting at the table and eat without getting up. She wasn't already sitting at the table. She was standing, fixing herself a plate. 3. I didn't realize how late we were till we got there - there was no set starting time and she lives an hour away, we sat in the Friday-Afternoon-Heading-Out-Of-Town traffic which I don't know if you can imagine unless you live in a place like Houston where it's unpredictable at best and can be horrific. 4. My children, ages 17 and 20 WERE includded - it's a holiday. (for those who aren't Jewish, maybe that's not meaning anything to you, but would you go to a friend's house for say, Easter Lunch, and leave your kids at home, no matter what age? This would be comparable to that. In any case the invitation which was sent via email said, You and your family. There's NO question, the kids were included. 5. She made no attempt to sit near us. She put her plate down as if she meant to sit near us but came back before ever sitting anywhere, picked up her plate, and went to the other table. I don't mind if she sat with us or not, it's just the way she acted as if she was going to, then apparently changed her mind. Even THAT wouldn't have mattered had it been a table with others in addition to just our family. It was just weird, the four of us, sitting alone in the kitchen, no other guests sitting or eating with us, the rest of the entire party in another room, and no attempt to integrate us into the party. Yeah, we're guilty of being late. But as hostess, it's her duty to make us comfortable and welcome, late or not. That's what I think you'd learn in an etiquette class. 6. And again - we were about 20 minutes late. Is that really late enough to turn around after being in the car one hour and not show up at all? If someone were 20 minutes late to my house and let that convince them to blow off my party, I'd be horrified. 7. I HAVE gotten over this, WAY over this. I wasn't going to answer lizzynola's post for that reason and because most of her questions/comments had already been covered in my previous posts. But since the discussion continues, I'm answering. I am glad I was able to vent here. I'm no longer mad or hurt. I'm still good friends with her. She had no ill intentions. I thank you all for your comments. May

Oakley - I'm so sorry about you losing your dad, brother and I guess basically your mom as well. I've lost my dad and one of my brothers and it's hard. I've been thinking a lot about friends and family lately and will probably be doing so over the next few months. I will be 60 in January and for some reason it is making me think about a lot of things - the future and what will it bring and the past and have I been happy with it. I'm happy with my choice in DH and I love my kids but sometimes wonder about roads untraveled and choices made. Would I do anything differently? I don't know. I know that the last 10 years, since turning 50, have just flown by and so I know how fast the next 10 years will go. I know that I have many changes ahead of me - retirement, my mom will probably pass away, my kids will develop careers and hopefully bring me DIL's (I have 2 sons) and maybe grandbabies. But the thing that I am not looking forward to is losing friends. That will be especially hard. Well, I just reread this and aren't I melancholy today. Shall I delete it - no I think I'll post it anyway.

Talley-Sue - yes, it was gaping. Kathy was in no condition to assess her wounds for a couple of days. She is fairly big breasted and only found the wound when she was able to take a bath a few days later. I would say the wound is about the size of a dollar coin. I even missed it when she first showed me her chest bruising but I wasn't looking that closely at her breasts just the bruising. The wound is under the breast on the outside. It actually looks like a bullet hole not that I have ever seen an actual bullet hole in someone's body. She is still finding bruises that she didn't know she had. Kathy did call her Doctor right away but like everything else you have to wait for an appointment which was today. Kathy did tend to her wounds like a nurse would do and she had a fellow nurse come and check her out. She wasn't mortally wounded so she waited to see her doctor. Kathy went to her family doctor today - he had all the reports from the hospital and he noted again where all of her injuries and bruising was. She has to go back again next week. I went with her to do some errands today and I could tell Kathy was in pain and asked her where she was feeling it the most. She said her breast and wearing a seatbelt wasn't helping any either. She said she might have to start taking a Percocet during the daytime too because of the pain. One good thing she wasn't skittish behind the wheel of the rental car. She is a little more wary of the other drivers though. We weren't out for more than a couple of hours and she had to get home because she was exhausted. Kathy has nothing but good to say about the people at the hospital and the EMT and police and good samaritans that were on the scene. If I was her I would probably be moaning and groaning but Kathy is not doing that and she is allowing us to help her. Kathy's insurance company has the police report but when she goes to see the lawyer I am sure he will get a copy. Anne

A mastectomy is an amazingly "easy on you" surgery. It's the treatment after that takes it out of me. The next day after surgery I was starving and the hospital food was awful......salty, cold food and warm drinks ( that were meant to be cold!)....so my daughter went out and got me a Big Mac and fries and I gobbled it up. Concentrate on proteins for healing.....and anything she likes....pie is good!! Pizza.....chicken and noodles....a burger fries and a shake! I made 2 loaves of bread and cooked dinner for my daughter's family a week after surgery.....admittedly the bread was made in the Cuisinart and I didn't knead it and someone else did the dishes....Went out for lunch after a week ( wearing a bulky sweater with a lot of pattern! to hide the drains) A mastectomy is not much...no muscles, no vital organs....it's the follow up that's the problem!