I understand what you are saying.

Yes, it's true for me. I only have 2 kids, thank goodness. But when they hurt, I hurt.

This applies to me too: Do anything you want to me, but leave my kids alone.

I think this is a wise comment. It applies equally to fathers.

Oh yes. I just want my kids to be healthy and happy and when they are unhappy I hurt.

For my mother, I believe "I am only happy when my children are less happy" fits better, sadly. I don't have children...maybe one day. I hope to be like the OP's quote, not my mother's mantra.

Alice_sj, you're not alone. It's the same with me too. It's more selfish than love. I'm glad I don't carry that gene. I'd rather everyone (regardless if it's family or not) is better than I am. I'm much happier that way. No worry for dodging jealousy and competition :)

This post was edited by ntt_hou on Sun, Nov 23, 14 at 19:45

My mother used to say that when a child grew up and got married there was not one less child to worry about, now there was a spouse and the grandchildren...more people to worry about.

No matter how old your children are, they will always be your babies....and yes, when one of them is hurting, I think I actually hurt worse!.....it is just called being a mother!

What it feels like to me is that "my heart aches" when my son, DIL or one of my grandchildren are not "okay". It hurts worse when its them and not you cause you can't make things better for them alot of the times, they have to do it for themselves.

We just finished having them over for our "Thanksgiving Day" meal and it was a lovely evening. Sometimes not so much depending on how things are going for them. But tonight was great all around. Got to love on my 5 year old grandson and my 5 week old grandson. Love those chubby cheeks to kiss on.

Pickyshopper - hope things get better for you and your loved ones, if this is one of those times.

Oh that saying is very true for me! The emotional hurt could really get a mother down if she's not careful.

littlebug5 - I completely agree. You can mess with me, but my kids?? NOT. :)

And alice_sj, I'm sorry you don't have a loving, nurturing mother. I don't have a clue how a mother does that, but hopefully you feel lots of love from another person in your life!

I agree;
healthy normal mommas have that almost spooky bond with their children, & their capacity to love is very 'stretchy', as someone said above: when a child marries, you have another person to worry about!

Alice & ntt, I hear ya.

My mother was jealous of all of us, mean as a snake, spiteful...

Once I distanced myself from her & a lot of time had passed, the anger & hurt did seem to go away (I say "seem" because you never know!), & I realized that there was just something very very wrong with her.

(((( Sylvia Texas ))))

(((((Sylvia Texas)))))

(((((all hurting mothers)))))

(((((ones hurt by their mothers)))))

ole joyful

Yes, I think that saying is true. Mothers may even be less happy than their least happy child, we worry so much.

Hmmm, I would have sworn I pressed 'submit' when I responded, but I don't see it, so I'll try again.

Thanks for your responses. While I currently have one child who is dealing with a recent health problem and a break up, there is nothing terribly serious concerning me. I've just always hated feeling like I'm robbing my other children of my full enjoyment of our time together, when they're aware I'm worrying about a sibling.

My 'worry quotient' tends to steal from my 'happy quotient' whenever I'm concerned about anything with one of my children, so I'll work extra hard to try and not let that happen. I'm sure everyone like me would sure love to be able to put any concerns for one child on hold, so as not to lessen the time enjoyed with ALL of our children. I'll let you know when I figure out how to do it, lol!

My kids are grown up, adults, and out of the house, yet i still worry about their well being when things implode on them.

Jemdandy, I am the same way. My kids are grown adults. I really feel their pain when things go wrong. At least when they were younger and at home, I could often fix the problem. Now I can't. They just have to deal with it, as we all do. Just wish I could fix it with a kiss or reassurance.